|From Chevy Chase falling all over himself to this gem from Dana Carvey - the former prez was always one of SNL's prime targets. People are saying a lot of nice things about the guy this week, but if there's anything I think people should remember about Ford, it's that he could always take a joke. |
Trademarks are not verbs.So the next time you come across that picture of the domo-kuns chasing the kitten, make sure they call it what they're supposed to, eh?
CORRECT: The image was enhanced using Adobe® Photoshop® software.
INCORRECT: The image was photoshopped.
Trademarks are not nouns.
CORRECT: The image pokes fun at the Senator.
INCORRECT: The photoshop pokes fun at the Senator.
Actually, they probably have more than one. It ships free, and you get 10% off with a coupon code.
"You are bidding on a tree made of Mountain Dew cans and other hardware accessories. This tree is not just any tree though and the parts are not any parts. The 'Dew Tree' possesses majestic powers that bring joy and happiness to anyone around it. We are proud to have created it."
All I know is that's a buttload of Dew empties.
Can you imagine just how hopped up the dudes
who built this thing must be at any given moment?
I mean come on, it's got a wireless remote -- the possibilities for inter-office or family get-together comedy with this thing are virtually endless!
*sigh* Maybe on Ebay
Most of these ads are pretty cute, but do you really want people thinking that your vehicle was made by Acme?
With so many websites, sketch troupes, and popular television shows around these days, it's easy for a joke to get played out. And that's exactly the feeling I had when I first started to check out yet another clip featuring Santa Claus as a womanizing drug trafficker who secretly hates kids. And for the first couple of moments, my suspicions seemed to hold up.
But there's something about the sequence where Santa is furiously declining MySpace friend requests from smiling little children that broke the ice all around my grinch heart and had me giggling out loud despite myself.
This film comes from the crazies over at Black20, the same people responsible for "The Easter Bunny Hates You" and the recently featured "Public Service Announcement." They have plenty more videos to enjoy, so if you have the chance and some holiday vacation time to burn, you should definitely check them out.
Unfortunatley, as beloved as this little film is, it's having a hard time keeping it's dignity intact here in our modern media-crazed world. Take for example the way cable television networks TNT and TCN mercilessly replay the movie over and over during the holiday season, stripping it of it's cuteness through repitition to the point where even the sight of those cute kids scampering around in snow clothes is enough to make you puke.
Then of course there's the all too true stories about child actor Scotty Schwartz, who co-starrted in the film as the loveable "Flick" (the kid who had to accept the triple dog dare and got his tongue stuck the the flagpole) who would eventually grow up to pursue a career as a porn star.
And if that wasn't enough, the current Wikipedia entry about the movie features a large and rather unexpected photograph of a young couple having sex on the floor at a party (chances are this will be discovered quickly and dissapear -- but trust me, it was there)
Is there nothing about this movie that can survive without scorn?The answer is probably not, but there is one company in San Diego that's doing it's best to try. All season long they've been busy making, advertising and selling the movie's most underrated prop -- the infamous Leg Lamp
Now it's not everyone on your christmas list who's gonna want one of these, but believe me, if you do decide to pony up and get one for someone -- it will be a gift that they will always, always treasure
Until their wife "accidentally" breaks it.
Sometimes when that happens to me I'll find myself staring at the mug and saying "This stuff is going to be the death of me."
I always thought of it as just a saying, but perhaps there's more to it than that -- which is where this handy dandy little doodad comes in. Simply select your favorite energy drink, soda, or coffee style, and then using your body weight it quickly calculates just how many drinks of that type it would take to kill you.
According to the site, 155 cups of coffee would do me in.What it doesn't say is if I have to drink them in a row, or if the effect is cumulative -- which is an important distinction, because if it is:
I'm living on borrowed time.
*Audrey Hepburn declined the lead role in "The Sound of Music"If you're the type who lives for movie geekery, then one site you definitely need to check out is notstarring.com -- an ever-growing compendium of actors and roles that almost connected, but never did.
*Robert De Niro was considered to play Hannibal Lecter
*Sean Connery turned down the role of Gandalf
*Johnny Depp passed on the chance to play Lestat
*The Wachowski Brothers wanted Will Smith to play Neo
*Val Kilmer declined offers to play Neo and Morpheus in "The Matrix"
From well-documented almost castings (Tom Selleck was the original choice to play Indiana Jones) to the little-known plans, obscure ideas, and just plain wacky daydreams of Hollywood's casting directors (Nicholas Cage as Willy Wonka? Nick Nolte as Han Solo? Ashton Kutcher as Superman!?) -- it's all here.
The partridge, unfortunately, required mounting for shipping. Taxidermy. I had to strangle the poor bird with my own two hands. Sometimes small cruelties must be tolerated for the greater holiday good — in this case, pears."
Forget the idea of a toy marketed straight to David Duke in his childhood. Forget the fact that it's a cannon that shot hard plastic ordnance 35 feet. What really dates this 1950s commercial is the brand tagline "Every boy wants a Remco toy. And so do girls."
The latest Swiss Army Knife features 85 devices to make even Batman's utility belt jealous.
It's got a tire gauge, a cigar cutter, a flashlight -- there's even a laser pointer on there!
But worst of all, you just know that as advanced as this thing is, it's still equipped with those useless tweezers and that toothpick-ish thing that always ended up getting lost.
Man, I hated those!
Still, what a prank -- and just in time for Christmas party season too!
$18 may seem like a lot for a movie, but it should keep most cellphone louts out, and you don't have to wear a tux.
"He must be really rich"But none of these offerings give you the explanation that you really want.
"She must be really stupid."
"Girls always go for the jerks"
"Scientology is a hell of a drug"
Unfortunately, this site doesn't help either, instead providing readers with photo captions that feel a lot like sharing a cab with a group of people who are so engrossed in their own conversation they don't have the time to explain it to anyone else.
That being said -- the photos are gold.
An equally unhelpful FAQ page is provided by the siteowner -- offering answers to all of your important douchbag-related inquiries, like this one:
Q: What inspired you to create this site?
A: Your moms...Douchebag
Saw these guys in front of 20 people in Jersey on Saturday night, and they were playing way beyond the room. This single and smart little lo-fi video are the tip of the iceberg. If you get a chance, go see 'em live. Plus, how can you not love a bunch of guys who live for Grease Trucks and video games?
I mean sure, building suspense and creating events that lead viewers up to some huge climactic moment helps to sell tickets -- but everyone knows the feeling of walking out of a theater and thinking, "It would have never happened that way in real life ...what a total crock!"
That's where this site comes in. Check out the archive page to see what you've been wanting all along -- Real endings to some of Hollywood's biggest blockbusters.
Not only do these smart little animations satisfy your desire for closure, but in some instances they can actually save you time and money by ending the need for costly and frequently dissapointing serials
Like these, for example.
If that weren't enough, he hosts a regular radio show for the Fairfield College radio station and is slated to have his sixth cover story for a national magazine published later this month.
Clearly Bernard is a busy guy, but that doesn't keep him from regularly posting opinions, album reviews, interviews with up-and-coming talent, and whatever else strikes his fancy over at his personal website Adam's World.
Whether you're a fan of hip-hop, someone who knows the trials and tribulations that come with a freelance writing career, or just enjoy reading engaging and intelligent obeservations about this crazy world we live in -- you should definitely give this site a look.
"In 1613, a Dutch settlement for trading was established on Lower Manhattan, named New Amsterdam after the glorious capital of Holland (Amsterdam, that is). Just a handful of years later, a Dutchie named Peter Minuit bought the rest of Manhattan. Those were the days all the way until 1664 when some British conquerers conquered the place and baptised it New York.So begins the manifesto of an interesting little revolutionary movement who's goal is to reclaim the Big Apple to its rightful owners and re-re-name it "New Amsterdam." But more than that, these folks want to rescue the city from the mistreatments of its American owners and re-invigorate it with the sort of touches that make the original Amsterdam so great.
Being renamed "New York" after being called "New Amsterdam" can't be anything but a step down the status ladder. Seriously, where's York anyway? Godforsaken British town, compared to the glorious capital of Holland."
Among their suggested improvements for the city:It's amusing at first -- heck, maybe even something worth considering. But then after reading through the site for a while you start to wonder what the real reason behind all this "Amsterdam in America" hoopla might be
* Changing the nickname to "The Big Orange"
* Flooding several major streets to enable canal boat traffic
* Filling Central Park with Tulips
* Replacing all hot dog carts with vendors who sell herring
* Painting all the taxi cabs orange
* Requiring all naked cowboys to wear wooden shoes
..And that's when you discover their plan for all the coffee shops.
This is what we at Highly Recommended call political humor. Stewart ain't got nothin' on us. CNN, here we come...
and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around."
There probably isn't an accurate way to describe just how cool I think this is, or just how many cheap pickup lines I would craft around it if I owned one.
But one thing's for certain -- if I can't afford the way cool "Where the Wild Things Are" Christmas stocking, there's probably no chance that I have even close to the necessary coinage it would take to get one of these.
Still -- what a way to dream, eh?
But then you get a peek at that price tag and you're like "60 Bucks!?"
I mean, I guess they're using nice fabrics -- but really, what sort of gifts do people really get in their stockings? Gift certificates? Matchbox cars? ..Nothing?
Oh yeah, let me roll up to the curb in my jet car and see if I've got any change in my solid-gold wallet.
Still a pretty cool idea, though.
Nowadays it hits a little too close to home, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take a moment to enjoy what he does.
Set in those halcyon days after the dotcom crash, "Laid Off" shows you exactly what it's like when the calls stop coming.
Of course these toons have been around a while so there's a good chance you might have already seen them -- but just like fudge stripe cookies and pringles it's a good thing, because you never really know when you'll need them the most.
Take for example this misguided collection of songs celebrating the holiday spirit through the eyes of a protocol droid.
It's a bad idea from the start (as all attempts to combine the words 'Star Wars' and 'Christmas' tend to be), but on top of everything else there's something especially creepy about the combination of lounge piano music with the sound of Anthony Daniels' lilting robot vocals -- almost as if you're caught at an office christmas party with a C3P0 who has perhaps has downed one too many mimosas and is motioning for you to come join him under the mistletoe.
..and we all remember what happened to the
last guy who went there with him, don't we?
That being said, the word "Superpeep" will probably end up being a part of my vocabulary forever.
And while I am simply aghast at my alma mater's poor showing in a listing such as this (where you'd think they'd clean up), I couldn't help but feel really bad for the kids over at Duke, who somehow didn't show up on the list at all.
I mean you'd think with all the effort the lacrosse team put in they'd get some run, but I guess that's what happens when you have a weak non-conference schedule, eh?
Here's to it.
At the same time -- neat as this is to look at, what good is it supposed to do anyone? I mean, do they expect people to look at this site and say, "Oh crap, I'm missing a good song that's playing.. in Idaho?"
Way to kick radio when it's down, Internet!
Ms. Dewey is the search engine that talks back to you, jokes around, and gets mad if you don't type anything into it for a while (try it and see). There seems to be no end to the preprogrammed responses she has for your search queries, and they all seem to be filled with a winking, flirty sense of humor that's easy to get addicted to.
Unfortunatley like all talking web widgets, the joke starts to wears thin once you start getting duplicate responses -- leaving you with what is essentially a sexier version of Bonzi Buddy.
Or at least, that's what I was starting to think until I asked her to do a search for Flava Flav.
..Yeah, I'm in love.
For those of you who might be thinking on a smaller scale -- like adorning a cubicle or an apartment window, these little beauties might just be the answer you've been looking for.
..idiots.Why can't someone integrate the really important technological advances of the day into an automobile?
You know, like this.
...or was that just me?The trouble is, the stories you'd always find in those books were innocent and clean, in many ways nothing more than hapless victims to you and your inappropriate vocabulary skills.
If only there was a place where the stories themselves had a bad attitude..
Enter Bad Libs, a new take on the old favorite that offers users the chance to fill in some real blanks, if you know what I mean.
Whether you want to create the perfect breakup letter, dirty personal ad, sex columnist advice request, emo diary entry, or soul-bearing poem, Bad Libs has you covered. Plus, using the magic of patented In-ter-net™ technology - your Bad Lib can be instantly added to blog posts or MySpace bulletins so that they can be easily shared with all your adoring fans.
And really, isn't that what _(noun)_ is all about?
That's where The League of Women Voters comes in. This non-partisan group asks each candidate questions about actual issues. I know blogs, the National Enquirer, and CNN are more entertaining sources of politico-tainment, but this way you can actually compare candidate answers yourself to make an informed decision. Crazy, no?
Having said all that, the unfiltered answers candidates give make it clear why so many of them rely on speechwriters, image-polishers, spokespeople, and other minions to make what they say palatable to more than say...themselves.
Here are actual answers from this year's candidates for office in New York. Maybe it's better where you are. I hope so.
"Besides my above-average academic and scholarly credentials, I have acquired some wisdom from copious reading."
"I am active in defense of the Cuban Revolution, and participated in the 2005 anti-imperialist World Youth Festival in Caracas, Venezuela."
"I believe we are trying to achieve the right balance between security and civil rights. I have concerns, however it will take actual evidence of abuses under various laws such as the Patriot Act before I would be ready to alter them or abandon them."
--Italo A. Zanzi
(You mean besides the warrantless wiretapping thing?)
"He knows what it takes to create jobs and he how the real world works + experience that is needed in Washington."
(Dude, you're running for Congress--proofread!)
Then there's Christopher M. Srock...
Occupation: Full-time cook at Intercommunity Memorial Hospital
In 1998 I graduate with Honors from Newfane High School
I have run for town council and county legislature seats in 1999 and 2001 respectively
Both campaigns were issued based: winning the primary for councilman and losing the general elections
These losses raised issues that were addressed and helped everyone
(Except me. I lost...)
This is no easy feat to accomplish, and it's doubly special seeing as this is his first attempt at it ever. So if you get a moment - make sure to leave well wishes and congrats for the man who started this site all those eons ago.
Great Job, Bro!!Gents, a little travelling music if you please!
Set to the music of Denez Prigent, this film is one of the best homemade offerings I've ever seen. With text taken directly from an authentic Civil War love letter and fight choreography rivaling the best Hollywood could offer, it's the sort of thing I find myself watching over and over again.
I'd bet real money that at some point during rush hour you'll hear "Yo Anakin, get the fuck outta the way!"
But then two years later it's "take the trash out this" and "we never go anywhere nice for dinner anymore that"
There's only so much one sith can take, you know?
The coolest aspect of the whole thing for me is the fact that many of these tunes were used as background music for incidental moments in the films (chase scenes, visual montages, driving sequences), and as such never found a place on the original soundtrack albums.
Whatever the case, there's plenty of source material here to create fun little playlists with -- all without having to endure Molly Ringwald's incessant whining about how unbearable her life is.
And only a neo maxi zum dweebie
would pass up a chance like that.
(it gets a little graphic and there's lots of shouting, so if you're at the office it's probably best to turn it down a little.)
I swear, every time you think it's starting to wear thin, this clip surprises you by getting even better. In fact, the only thing I think that could possibly improve this scene at all would be for mullet dude to tell the Van-Dammish guy he is his father.
"We'll keep an eye out for you, Stingray!"
Three scientists went to the jungle in search of rare butterflies. After a long day they made camp near a river, but while they were sleeping a tribe captured them and put them in a tent. After a while the tribe's cheif enters the tent, walks up to the first scientist and says,
"Death or Unga Bunga?"
More than just a collection of retro album cover photos -- almost every picture links to a page where you can listen to the individual songs on the album at your lesiure -- In short, this guy has painstakingly digitized his record collection and made it all available for free.
If you have the time and you're looking for tracks to soup up your next Halloween party, dig around in here. Outside of more wacky titles like "Sing Along with Drac" and "At Home With The Munsters," you'll find collections of theme songs from classic horror fare like "Dark Shadows" as well as some truly fun songs from the likes of Rob Zombie, Spike Jones, The Reverend Horton Heat, Southern Culture on the Skids, and Rocket From the Crypt.
Here's the latest 51 seconds to fall.
"Granddad, why did we invade France?"
"Well boy, our government was led by crazy people then. Some regarded France, with its love of peace, art, and non-microwaved food, to be suspicious and threatening. When the Euro Disney tape went on the Internet, well, that was the last straw."
"So how come the other countries let us get away with it?"
"Well, the British and the Germans hated the French too. Now finish your hamburger and Freedom Within Reason Fries."
Pin-up art is always fun, but one of my favorite things about this site are the series of prints made up to look like the covers of old 50's pulp detective novels -- in this case featuring mysteries to be solved by ace detective *snicker snicker* Dick Harden.
Ribaldry aside, there's some very cool stuff here from a very talented artist, and if nothing else the background music is groovy with a capital wowie zow zow.
If only there was a way to express your anger, you know?
Don't even try to front -- You'll be doing this by lunchtime.
And while the idea of mash-ups has been popular ever since, very few albums in that style have found their way to any kind of prominence (probably because most attempts to mix one artists vocal stylings with another's music ranges from the crappy to the downright laughable).
Or at least it seemed that way until The Silence Xperiment came up with Q-Unit -- which mixes the arena rock stylings of Queen with thug rhymes from 50 Cent.
It takes some getting used to and it's definitely not for everyone, but it's a combination that seems to work better than most. Best of all, everything's available free for download from the site for you to check out to your hearts content.
Opened in 1972, CBGB's was originally intended to feature country and bluegrass acts, but instead became a launching pad for some of the biggest names in American punk rock. After 34 years of original music performances from both known and unsigned acts, the club will be closing the doors on the 315 Bowery location at the end of this month. Shows will continue to the end of the week, culminating Sunday night with a sold-out performance by Patti Smith.
Despite rumors that the club will be re-opening somewhere else in the city (or possibly Las Vegas), it will be a shame to see the place go.
That being said, I can't think of a better way to see things off than with a performance by legendary reggae/punk rockers Bad Brains (who just happen to be one of my all-time favorite bands).
Here's a little sample of what we'll be missing:
No not me, the other one -- Brian PosehnThe mosh pit scene alone makes this worth watching, but there's plenty of other fun to be had in the form of in-jokes and parodies of some of metals biggest names and cliches.
I'd love to stay and point them
out, but I gotta walk the dogs.
The problem with this type of contest is that everyone loses, especially those in the audience.
I rented "Final Fantasy VII" on a lark the other day. The animation is stunning. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the plot is, but it's worth a look.
What was fun for me was that the more lost I got in the plot, the more I decided to make my own story up. So if you're interested here's a quick summation of what I decided the story was about:
Members of the emo rock band HIM battle against what appears to be various members of the A-Team, characters from the videogame Street Fighter, and possibly one or two of the guys in Poison for control over the visualization effects that come free when you download the Winamp media player. Then there's some boss motorcycle chases leading up to a battle with a giant monster that sort of looks like the villian from the SAW horror films.
There are also wolves and what look to be pokemon characters, but I haven't figured that part out yet.
I think this is a good time to remind people that Hex is actively seeking employment. Although AdSense would probably make both Hex and me instant millionaires, it would also crappify the blog, so that ain't happenin'. So if you've got an opening for a gig, let the man know via the profile link on the upper right side of the page.
Starts out fun and then (as you fully expect) it turns into a commercial. Such is the world wide widget these days, but it was either this or "My Pussy is Magic" (nsfw) - and believe me, I did you a favor not putting that one up on your screen.
* It is cited that the Burmese king Nandabayin, in 1599 laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venice was "a free state without a king".
* In 1660, the Scottish aristocrat, polymath and first translator of Rabelais into English, Thomas Urquhart, is said to have died laughing upon hearing that Charles II had taken the throne.
* In 1782, a certain Mrs Fitzherbert is reported to have suffered from an attack of hilarity while she attended a performance of the Beggar's Opera. When Charles Bannister appeared on scene as Peachum, she burst into an uncontrollable laugh so loud that she had to be expelled from the theatre. She laughed continuously all night long and the day after and died early the following day.
The "something-something-something" school
"Come here girl
Go 'head be gone with it
Go 'head be gone with it..."
The "insert nonsensical gobbeldygook and hope no one notices" trick, which kind of looks like this:
See, a wig gives you a hairstyle you wouldn't normally have. Toupees on the other hand are a device used to conceal pattern baldness. Of course, once an infant starts to get insecure about their declining youth and looks they're libel to spend any amount of money on all sorts of snake oil type cures.
It's a shame, really.So until this company wises up and starts making products like "The Burt Reynolds" or "The Shatner", you're probably better off sticking with that spray-on hair that's been um.. working so well for you lately (no really, you can hardly tell).
From what I can tell the original Virgin Records contest has come and gone, but the challenge still exists for music nerds and bored workers everywhere to test their mettle against what might be one of the most fun marketing ideas to come across the pond in recent memory.
Feel free to post your answers in the comments section, but hurry -- I'm already about halfway through it myself!
Comments have been few and far between, however. That may be because the blog sucked, but I'd prefer to think our readership is a shy lot. It's easier on my ego that way.
ANYway, we are not above bribery to get what we want, so the person with the best comments over the next week will win my copy of the new Tom Warnick CD I've been raving about. "Best" will be determined solely by Hex and me, no appeals allowed, we are the law. Given the rate of comments right now, you could win with one zinger or profound statement. Quality counts over quantity, but five good comments could win out over one stellar one. That's for US to decide. Contest runs for one week, to end at 12:01am EST October 2nd. Get crackin', kids!
IMPORTANT: Please note all comments in THIS post, so that we don't have to hunt through 237 posts to find your gem. You can wait 'til the end of the week if you like, just make sure before 10/2 that you post ONE comment here noting where we need to look to find your comments.
For those of you born after 1980, it's a mad old school shooter.
For the hipsters out there, it's a vintage retro game by an indie publisher. Also worthwhile on the indie tip: Stick Arena. Now for the hipsters: get off my blog.
Asked about how they feel about being tenants in the Freedom Tower, government employees say "Oh hell no."
Go is apparently more of a challenge for artificial intelligence than chess.
Tom Warnick, whose new CD is well worth your $10, has had some serious health problems. He may well address them in detail on his site at some point. It's my understanding that he's mending, slowly, and we wish him the best of luck on a full recovery.
Extra Added Bonus: The gummint has contracted to rent said space at about 50% above market value. F you, taxpayers.
BUT NOW, the band has a new album out. How's this for a description: They Might Be Giants, after three lifetimes of hangovers and gambling debts, forcing them to sell their electronics and kill one of the Johns.
That's a good thing. Go. Listen.
The latest shuttle mission involved undoing about a hundred bolts while wearing spacesuits. One of the bolts was simply stuck, endangering installation of a $372 million truss and solar array. After two spacewalkers completely kept their cool ("Son of a gun" was the worst expletive used), they used a wrench and a cheat bar to get it unscrewed. When it was all over, one of the crew inside Atlantis said:
“Now there was much rejoicing.”
I find it comforting that the best working scientists in the nation are Monty Python fans.
Be that as it may, back here in the all-too-real world we've been assaulted by flag-waving 9/11 jive nonstop this week. I saw Bush's helicopter arrive Monday on a helipad near work, then had to listen to happy marching bands the rest of the day. Jarring stuff, all.
One of the largely-forgotten tidbits of 9/11 is that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson came out shortly after the attacks and laid the blame squarely at the feet of New York City. That's right, our godless ways caused the Almighty to send Osama's minions to kill a bunch of us.
It turns out, though, that he was taken out of context. I just discovered this clarification today.
Enter this. I'm not suggesting you use stainless steel shot, but frozen blueberries delivered via slingshot and laser sighting are completely appropriate for use on drunkards who don't understand how to leave a bar or club quietly. If you want to party down and make some noise, pay a cover charge and hit the party hiz-ouse of your choice. Otherwise, you are fair game for some blueberry-flavored justice.
I am the law.
In fact, it seems downright unfair to me that only pixie-voiced, giant-eyed schoolchildren get the opportunity to mingle with the undead, fight aliens, and have sex with tentacle plants.
Not that The Tetran solves any of these problems, mind you -- but there's something positively Miyazaki-an about the prospect having a small, spiny, neon-colored orb hanging somewhere on your body waiting for a chance to fulfill it's life's wish of wrapping itself up in the cord for your iPod earbuds.
My advice is to get yours now before Gwen Stefani
buys them all up and starts writing songs about them.
Enter "The Numbers", a movie-industry site that keeps tabs on just about everything connected with the silver screen. Most of the site is dedicated to measuring which film did the best over a given holiday weekend, or who had the biggest opening day -- but if you dig a little deeper you'll find a handful of lists that tell some pretty interesting stories about Hollywood and the people who work in it.
For example, while it's true that Samuel L. Jackson's movies have generated more revenue than Harrison Ford's, that still doesn't make him #1. That honor is held by Frank Welker, whose box office totals over the course of his career cash in at over $4 billon.
For those of you who might not be familiar, Frank Welker is a voice actor who has been working in animation and film since the early 1960's. Probably most recognizable as the voice of Freddy from the Scooby Doo series, Welker has lent his talents to more than 500 television and film projects, making him more like an institution than a star.
Of course, herein lies the basic problem with the list - the idea that anyone associated with a given movie can be given individual credit for it's financial success (which not only accounts for the prominence of voice actors in the list, but also helps to explain the respective statuses of people like John Ratzenburger, Kenny Baker, and Clint Howard).
Bottom line -- next time you catch your kid making funny cartoon voices instead of doing their homework, don't get mad
Get them an agent.
For example -- deliciously tasteless jokes, organized by category.An invaluable research aid to those of us who aren't Don Rickles, you'll never have to worry about confusing your Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller jokes again.
Adults will freak out, even though they're unlikely to have played the game in years, or to do so again in the future.
Wait, why did I post this?
Update: tickets are still available, and unlike Taymor's Magic Flute last year, no obnoxious membership or season pass is required. I'm in the cheap seats on the last night of the show.
It is quite another thing entirely to have a silly blog detailing how someone ran a marathon with an ironing board and iron on his back.
I say this because upping the ante would require carrying a 40lb. bag of potting soil, a trellis, and a Garden Weasel. Although I'm sure Extreme Gardening (especially the full-contact version) awaits claiming by some fool, it ain't me.
I mean lets face it, we all want to have fun and sneak out during the summer months, but sometimes you've just got to keep your mind on where you are, and what you're doing.
Calling in sick...A Jedi Craves Not These Things
Seven years later, the question is still relevant: Should the US impose limits on incredibly stupid shit?
However, much like the American government -- I feel as if these scientists have not yet given enough thought to the weapons potential inherent in this technology.
I mean let's face it -- Super Soakers are expensive.
Therefore, in the name of national security I propose that a massive testing session be held in the immediate future at a local pool, beach, or pub
Who's with me!?
Please note that by "you," I mean "not me."
The thing that made this show the most interesting for me though was the way that as it began to fade into obscurity the forum became more of a fight club for the comedians involved. Take for example this clip where funnyman Greg Giraldo does his best to set up a joke about the North Korean Nuclear Problem, but then decides instead to basically tear into not-quite-as-funny-as-he-used-to-be-when-he-was-stealing-Bill-Hicks'-material-man Dennis Leary, who does not appear pleased at all to discover that his expensive sunglasses provide less protection than he originally paid for.
Not that tunes like "You're Gonna Burn in Hell" or "I Wanna Rock" weren't great for their day, but if you want to dress like Bette Midler, at least do a better job with the rouge.
Still, it's the first guitar solo I ever learned to play -- and regardless of who you are or where you come from, there's no denying the brilliance that is Neidermayer.
I prefer the term "loonball" to "crazy," but it's the Michael Jackson career effect regardless.
Plus, ya gotta love the fact that Boys' Night at the place is called Oink.
The Neal.More of a geek footnote than a high recommendation (seeing as the movie hasn't actually been released yet), it proves once again just how much writing songs about trees can do for your career.
Specifically, he re-creates scenes from his favorite movies using household props and lighting, himself as all the actors, and an eye for detail that makes this collection of clips a heck of a lot more entertaining than they probably should be.
The first in the series is his take on a scene from the end of the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, (which really should be a lot funnier considering the mustache).
Then if you dig a little deeper you'll find a whole series of these things on his YouTube page, including scenes from The Breakfast Club, The Shining, and Pulp Fiction.
A couple of notes:Either way, it's a fun little collection of clips to waste time with on a Sunday morning (And who knows - if he keeps up like this, dude might even end up with his own film credit page on IMDb).
* Although he is also a huge fan of film, the guy in these clips is not the infamous Cliche Monster (who is a better actor and rarely sports hair)
* The scene from Star Trek: First Contact is perhaps the most unintenionally funny of the bunch, as an attempt to delve into a captain's psyche dissolves into a campy version of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf" (or The Jeffersons, depending on your point of view)
* In what's probably the best film of the series overall, Hardesty does an awesome imitation of Wallace Shawn, all the way down to the way he crosses his arms.
* That being said, his Cary Elwes? ...eh, not so much.
2) ..Ok, well I didn't really know how to play it there -- so let me try it again.
3) Ok, I get it (say -- this is kinda cool).
4) Ok, I know I can beat that score.
5) Ok, I slipped there -- didn't mean to mess up.
6) Ok, now the computer is cheating.
..Ok, the human body can go a couple
of days without food and water, right?
It's about meeting people. Creating connections. Making friends. It's about shiny happy people holding hands.
...Yeah, great.If you've had your fill of sharing anything with the rest of the world, then we might just have the product you've been looking for.
- * I love this song
* It's kinda sad when puppets rock harder than most bands on the radio
* I can't help but feel a bit cheated by the fact that I don't live in a country where street performers feature songs by Motorhead.
What's funny about this preview is that the hosting page is advertising for soundtrack contributions. Translation: Sam Jackson and computer snakes ate the budget.
1 Part Nine Inch Nails
1 Part Concrete Blonde
1c crushed 80s dance-o-synthpop (don't cheap out--use the good stuff)
Mix liberally. Sprinkle with American McGee. Top it all off with the bloody bunny from Twilight Zone: The Movie.
I'm talking about Bird Flu! Potential future killer of everyone you've ever known and loved! Drop what you're doing, just stop right now.
You've got 30 seconds to save the world.
Bird Flu, Man!
(NSFW - even if it seems like the very best place to play something like this on infinite repeat at maximum volume especially if you had to go in today when everyone else got to sleep in because they don't work for a crazed bunch of slavedrivers who can't recognize the signigicance of this particular holiday)
It's much like the feeling you'll get checking out this little doo-dad from across the pond that takes random parts from commonly told jokes and melds them together to create third generation "super-jokes" that threaten to take over the world.
Back in the day when his main internet platform was Spumco.com, he would frequently veer off the course of promoting his own work to craft essays on animation history, rants about current media trends, and generally comment on anything else that annoyed him.
Let's hope that happens again here.
For those who got my CDs, here's the playlist for "Off A Duck's Back":
The Sheriff's Ranch For Boys |Shack Shakers
Reach for the Sky |Social Distortion
Better Off Dead |Bad Religion
Rose of the Devil's Garden |Tiger Army
Making Plans For Nigel |XTC
Beautiful Friend |Cranes
A Good Idea |Sugar
This Town |Go Go's
I Say Nothing |Voice Of The Beehive
Don't Care |Klark Kent
Not My Slave |Oingo Boingo
St. Louise Is Listening |Soul Coughing
Video Kid |The Birthday Massacre
Wait Move On |Iris
She Watch Channel Zero |Follow For Now
Eight-Ball |The Jody Grind
High Roll |Tom Warnick
Onto Transmigration |JUF (Gogol Bordello)
Young Liars |TV on the Radio
But, like any other dude with an ego -- I'm running with it and will operate under the assumption that it was a genuine statement of fact until told otherwise.
However, should you come across this woman and want to impress her with your own moves, you might want to take some time to consult this handy-dandy little guide first -- because we all know what happens to players who try to fake the funk with the Clap Clap Point Point Clap Point Point Point Clap Point and Squat now, don't we?