"You are bidding on a tree made of Mountain Dew cans and other hardware accessories. This tree is not just any tree though and the parts are not any parts. The 'Dew Tree' possesses majestic powers that bring joy and happiness to anyone around it. We are proud to have created it."
All I know is that's a buttload of Dew empties.
Can you imagine just how hopped up the dudes
who built this thing must be at any given moment?