Marry Your Baby Daddy Day

So far this is only a Brooklyn thing, but there's no reason not to go nationwide. Minor disappointment: this originally was supposed to be a mass wedding a la Reverend Moon, but there were only 10 couples for the inaugural event. Good news: you've got a whole year before the next one.

Shining

Forget hurricane relief mismanagement, corporate greed, or wars for oil -- the real threat to this nations security is and will always be Hollywood's unchecked need to remake classic horror films using younger stars and updated scripts. From The House on Haunted Hill to The Amytiville Horror, studios can't seem to stop frothing at the mouth to reheat these old burgers and see if we'll eat them all over again just because they sprinkled a little Jessica Biel on top.

I mean, what's gonna be next - a Stephen King love story?

Flora Bush: The Child Left Behind

I'm not so sure how well this holds up as a political protest -- but pretty much anything on the web featuring the president's daughter molesting Winnie-the-Pooh in drag is worth a recommendation in my book.

Banalizing

As we get further and further away from the actual event, stuff like this gets even more surreal. The same company specializes in drivel.

Need more concrete imagery on your postcards? Here ya go.

Everybody Loves Fek'lhr

Think your kids lack discipline? -- Try these on for size.
Think your kids lack rhythm? -- Help is at hand.
Think your kid needs to get a job? -- Look no further.
Need help getting a date? -- We've got you covered.

Oh, you meant that kind of date...

No problem.

He Man Does 4-Non-Blondes

Absolutley nowhere near as heterosexual as the title might lead you to believe.

Water Cooler Games

Run by considered, savvy folk, Water Cooler Games covers the world of video games outside of the sphere of entertainment. If you're looking for your next Grand Theft Auto fix, keep moving. On the other hand, did you know that the UN World Food Program makes an educational video game that doesn't suck?

Then there's Teenage Mum...

Cute. Kinda. I guess. Not really. What is this thing again?

There was that scene in Godfather where a movie mogul, played by John Marley, refused the Don's offer and ended up with his prize horse's head in his bed. Here's an actual business enterprise based on the idea that it would be cute to send a stuffed severed horse head to josh your buddies. Likely response after you've spent your $70: "Heh. Oh yeah, from that thing in Godfather..."

This isn't obscure enough. How about a Faces-era stuffed John Marley head? Or a set of two stuffed heads--Marley and Gena Rowlands? Better yet, Marley and Richard Backus, as Andy from Deathdream. Of course, with two heads, it would be $140, but what a fine, fine use of money.

Doggy Poo

"It's a complicated world."

Indeed.

Poopstinks.org

While we're on the subject...

Polysics

You're not getting enough Devo. We can tell. Fortunately, they've spawned a new generation. In Japan.

The Troll Stroll

If the only information I ever get about Norway comes from this race, I have to figure it's a great country. Kid races and waffles. What's not to like?

Helping Out

If you have not already done so, the Highly Recommended Thing Of The Moment is to do what you can to help victims of Hurricane Katrina.