If Lego made a video game about working at a Kinko's, it likely would look a lot like this. Lesson: Co-workers are your greatest enemy. (Also see: "Hell is other people.")

Rootin' and Falutin'

I blame Jerry Bruckheimer for the resurgence in pirates. It's like the angels craze of the early '90s, only for the evil and eyepatched. Hex has done some pirate-spotting as well, and may share his (Scroll down, read, then wish you could reach through the screen and kill me)




Spread some good music to your fellow human.

For those who got my CDs, here's the playlist for "Off A Duck's Back":

Name |Artist
The Sheriff's Ranch For Boys |Shack Shakers
Reach for the Sky |Social Distortion
Better Off Dead |Bad Religion
Rose of the Devil's Garden |Tiger Army
Making Plans For Nigel |XTC
Beautiful Friend |Cranes
A Good Idea |Sugar
This Town |Go Go's
I Say Nothing |Voice Of The Beehive
Don't Care |Klark Kent
Not My Slave |Oingo Boingo
St. Louise Is Listening |Soul Coughing
Video Kid |The Birthday Massacre
Wait Move On |Iris
She Watch Channel Zero |Follow For Now
Eight-Ball |The Jody Grind
High Roll |Tom Warnick
Onto Transmigration |JUF (Gogol Bordello)
Young Liars |TV on the Radio

The Gay Bomb

Nice to see we're still hiring only the brightest and the best at DoD.

Hooked on a Feeling

One thing you can say about this guy and Tesh is that at least they have a sense of humor about themselves.



How To Dance Like a White Guy

Recently at a club I received an unexpected compliment on my dancing ability from a fetching young lady who apparently suffered from some sort of vision impediment that she wouldn't own up to.

But, like any other dude with an ego -- I'm running with it and will operate under the assumption that it was a genuine statement of fact until told otherwise.

However, should you come across this woman and want to impress her with your own moves, you might want to take some time to consult this handy-dandy little guide first -- because we all know what happens to players who try to fake the funk with the Clap Clap Point Point Clap Point Point Point Clap Point and Squat now, don't we?


Sparkly Crap for the No-Taste Crowd

If anyone out there has some Photoshop skill, you should bedazzle a chihuahua and stick that glitter-rat back in Paris Hilton's arms.


Doctor Who

We don't normally recommend big mainstream media stuff, but we've had a lot of fun chewing this up on Limewire. Now the Sci-Fi Channel has picked up the new Doctor Who, so everyone in the US can see it legitimately.

Also, Dolly Parton's version of "The Star Spangled Banner" is just too fun to pass up. Have at.


I Miss Sir Mix a Lot

Only James will get the joke.
By the way -- should you hear anyone using this as a ringtone, kill them immediatley

What the Hell is Going on Here?

It's kind of like "The 5th Element."

..Well ok, not really -- but I'm going with it.


Pop Quiz

Think fast: you're in the Darfur refugee camp, and you have to explain the purpose of this device. Big bonus points if you can explain the purpose of Philippe Starck.


Dad 'n Me

Ok, Junior, now go decapitate your playmates like a good little serial killer!


Car Alarm Bans

When you hear a car alarm, do you ever think "OH MY GOD, THAT CAR'S BEING STOLEN!!" No, you do not. Because usually it's a false alarm. We're trying to get these things banned here in NYC. My recommendation is that everyone seek to do the same planetwide.


Sears Tower Built With Jenga

Your student loan dollars at work.
btw - Apparently the people at the Guinness Book of World Records won't give this guy the time of day, despite the fact that this is not his first time around the block.

Tell me getting that rejection letter didn't suck.

The guy with a million bees on his face? -- He's in.
You? -- Eh, not so much.


Cartoon Brew

Just kinda surfing around this morning I came across this really interesting animation history/trade magazine sort of blog run in part by cartoon historian Jerry Beck, who's truly got one of the jobs in this world I would love to have -- watching cartoons and writing about them.

I mean, I kinda do that anyways -- it's just that he somehow figured out a way to get paid for it.

(also serves as a quick way to get to the animated John K interview that's been making the rounds on all the sites lately).


The Law & Order Coloring Book

Further proof of my theory that there is a secret society of people in this country dedicated to the goal of bringing Jerry Orbach back from the dead to reclaim his rightful place as ruler of the known universe.


Make Your Own Subway Sign

To make an authentic subway sign, think of a message that would have been most useful to know before you left the house.



While we're on the subject, let's revisit this crowd fave...


How to Eat Sushi

It's really hard to tell if this is serious or not, as the constant tone of the narration kinda lulls you into a sense of comfort and security, only to be followed a moment later by that feeling of culture clash and confusion when you catch yourself saying "Wait, what was that last part??"

Regardless, all I can think of when I watch this video is the first time I had sushi with some of my oldest friends in California. I was new to the cuisine and asked our host for a few pointers on what to do so I wouldn't look like an idiot when we got to the place. He explained how things were set up, what things were good to try, and generally what to expect.

Then he leaned in close with this serious look in his eyes and said "Now this is important -- somewhere in the middle of the meal, they're gonna offer you a cup of special wine. Whatever you do, DON'T drink it."

Well of course none of us listened, and several hours later we ended up at a Karaoke place singing songs with the people from the Sushi bar. Definitley a night to remember (as much of it as I can remember, that is).


How To Pray to Mothra

Break glass in case someone kidnaps the Shobijin fairies from your island (also helpful in the treatment of Godzilla attacks).

Take only as directed. Side effects may occur.

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