Having finally been exposed to the .jp-inspired consumer heaven that is Kid Robot, I can understand completely why someone (adults, most likely) would spend a work day on a scavenger hunt in order to win a complete set of Zoomies.
NY, SF, LA, and Miami only, so sorry.
Props to Dorie for the mad consumer lust.
And don't get me wrong here. I love what you do.Now it's Cinematic Titanic, featuring (once again) former MST3K cast members in silhouette skewering bad films from the past.
But seriously -- can we settle on a name already?
This time around it seems they're going back to the things that started them off, as the commentaries for the various films are done as part of live performances in front of audiences. In addition, this time around you can buy the DVD of the film with the commentary for a half-decent price (instead of plunking down $50 or more for DVD's that include original cuts of the bad films).
I'm not up on all the details, so I could be wrong here -- but the feeling I'm getting from the site is that Cinematic Titanic is comprised of everyone who is not a part of Rifftrax, or something vice versa, giving the impression of some sort of infighting or whatever -- which, considering how important and beloved this show and it's cast are to me should feel like that time period when Paul McCartney was killing us with the soft-rock stylings of Wings and John Lennon was making albums about peace with Yoko, but in the end sorta feels like that time Motley Crue toured with a bunch of guys who weren't in the original band, and played concerts that only featured tunes from the newer albums the replacement guys worked on.
Watching the trailer, I still find myself laughing at the gags -- but like every time I hear about a new album of original songs by the Rolling Stones coming out, all it really does is make me miss the old days of Tom Servo, Cambot, Crow, and Gypsy.
This was the best I could do for holiday shenanigans, which is a great endorsement of the site in and of itself:
Silly fun. Also apparently huge in Finland. What else do you need to know?
strip club -- so it's no sleep 'till Brooklyn, yaherrdme?
Perhaps you can take inspiration from this picture of a company picnic where apparently someone in corporate decided it would be a good idea to install a one-drink maximum, and one plucky (and presumably soon to be fired) rank-and-file employee volunteered to order the cups.
If you've ever wondered what it would sound like if Frank Sinatra, William Hung, Stryper, Barney, Clay Aiken, The Partridge Family, Eurythmics, Willie Nelson and a host of other pop stars got together to round robin a tune, now's your chance.
OK, whatever. Long story short -- Every time you make one of these and send it the creators of the site makes a donation to a charity called Rotary First Harvest -- who help collect and distribute fresh produce to the less fortunate.
The quips that this thing spits out once the wheels stop turning remind me of all those old heckler insults that Johnny Carson used to fire off on the Tonight show, but it's still a nice little distraction on a Wednesday afternoon, right?
Enjoy -- and May Your Family Gathering be Fragrant and filled with Rainbows.
Step One: Click on the link
Step Two: Roll your eyes at the link
Step Three: Laugh while you watch the link
That's the way you do it!
NSFW w/o headphones... or nearly any other place, for that matter.
Photos of the first day of shooting of X-Files 2!
The movie junkie net was beside its collective virtual self earlier this week at the speculated release of stills from on-set... and yesterday, they were finally brought to light.
And they're BORING.
Seriously, Duchovny looks like he might be thinking about a nap.
And yes, you're reading the landing site correctly - besides Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, the FBI is bolstered by Amanda Peet and Xhibit.
And you thought a John Singleton-helmed A Team was a bad idea.
If you're a fan of the first variety, here's something you might be interested in: A widget that takes into account the dimensions of your Christmas tree and then calculates the recommended number of ornaments that should be placed on it.
Seeing as there is no variable here for the number of cats or small children living in the same house as said tree, I can't see how this math could possibly be valid -- but it's here if you need it.
ps -- Is it just me, or does the updated costume they put Emile Hirsch in make him sorta look like the Tron Guy?
Kinda cute. My kid's gonna love this.At the same time, you just know some SW nerd out there is gonna call foul and say that the translations are all wrong. Who knows, maybe every time you type in a word to translate -- R2 simply responds to you with computerized obscenities, racial slurs, and yo' mama jokes.
Now you know why they don't serve their kind in here.
Support a good cause. Hear a funny song. Hasselhoff.
What else do you need to know?
My biggest problem with this is the tagline "There really are no accidents." Yes, there are. It's why the word "accident" exists. Control freaks just don't like to admit it.
That said, the Prevent It campaign does not spare you details on the consequences of carelessness. Did you like those movies in Driver's Ed showing what happened to drunk drivers? You'll love this.
Playing this Wednesday at Southpaw in Park Slope.
Side note: When not heading LSC, lead singer Clermont can be seen at Freddy's in Brooklyn once a month running Big Ham Giveaway Karaoke. The event proves every time that the worse karaoke is, the better it is. Clermont himself does a killer "Mack the Knife." Check it.
Or at least it was, until I came across this.
Like most ymtnd pages, the joke wears out pretty fast -- and if you're not a star wars nut there's a chance this one won't even get to you in the first place. But if the laughter and spontaneous re-creations he's been doing for the past two days are any indication, this one's a winner.
ps - to those who wonder if we're ever gonna stop featuring lame Star Wars humor on this site, I offer this brief reply.
At times I thought the quiz should have been called, "Man it's gonna suck when this person passes away" -- but like some strange online Dickens novel, the fact that many of the people you're not sure about actually turn out to still be kicking makes you feel kinda good inside for no apparent reason.
By the end of it I had 19 right and 4 wrong, which considering some of the ringers hiding in the list I'm feeling pretty good about.
See how you do!
Tim Tams are inspiring biscuits. Biscuits in the English sense, not the fried chicken side-dish sense.
I can hear you now.
"Oh, it's a cookie. Get a grip."
You simply do not know. This food single-handedly makes up for vegemite.
Here's Aussie Natalie Imbruglia and her lips demonstrating the way to take the Tim Tam to a new level. Even the famously not-impressed Graham Norton is conquered:
A Tim Tam is the type of food that's so good you have to dance with it.
John Spruill, this one's for you:
Tim Tams are sold in other countries under different names, and were actually sold in the US on a trial basis in supermarkets in 2001 under the brand name "Double Trouble." Apparently everyone mistook the boxes for Olsen Twin videos, because they didn't catch on.
There are some online stores that sell them, but I don't really want to know where they are, 'cause it would mean caloric doom.
Anyway, if you ever get the opportunity, eat them!
So why not make it into a game?This site lets you download a handy-dandy BINGO card that gives you the chance to use that story about those "craaaazy last minute shoppers" to your advantage.
If there was only some way to tell them how you feel..Enter Angry-Gram, the latest viral advertising widget from Burger King. Part Bad-Libs, part Johnny Rotten -- this is probably what the Geico Lizard would be like if someone caught him, ground him into a patty, flame-broiled him, and then put him on a bun with lettuce, tomato, and cheese.
How about some germs?Not the slimy real ones, but these cute stuffed animal replicas. Probably more aimed at pediatricians and science teachers, but still available to anyone who wants them.
Sorta like venereal diseases (which they sell too).
That's not to say an army of cute blue dogs could do anything to make his band sound better, but just in case you had heard any false information through the "former children's show gossip hotline" or wherever rumors about guys like this get started -- Steve is very much alive, and really needs to shave.
This time around it's The Top 10 Bitter Songs by Female Singers, a listing of 10 tunes by gals who at first were afraid (they were petrified), kept thinking they could never live without you by their side -- but then spent so many nights thinking how you did them wrong, and they grew strong, they learned how to get along.
Take ten seconds to think about the subject of this list and you'll have already guessed what #1 is, but in usual Cracked.com style it's not the results that make it worth reading -- it's the snarky comments along the way.Oddly enough, Gloria Gaynor's "I Will
Survive" does not appear on the list.
Either way, you're laughing.
This is my cue. This my chance to give back to the little people.
"Step back, you are impure," I say. "Please, really, you probably have TB."
Then I say "I know life has treated you poorly. You were not blessed with my good fortune or modesty."
"However," I say, "Your world is about to change," I also say, "for our civilization has reached a pinnacle of achievement with you, yes YOU in mind."
Then I stop speaking in boldface. I tell them about dust mop slippers. How they can get two pair, $6 a pair, and have one pair to use even when the other is in the laundry.
They usually are speechless, which is good--especially when I'm using the urinal. They back away, bowing, but with little bit more dignity, a little bit more joy.
I know that soon, very soon, they too will have clean clean floors.
Here's our very own Hex, snowboarding. In a beret.
His Lordship the Viscount St. Austell-in-the-Moor Biggleswade-Brixham, aka Doonesbury's Zonker, got his title pretty much this way.
Want to visit your royal lands? There they are, up above. It's an abandoned platform off the coast of Scotland. It has a helipad. Go nuts, your worship.
ps -- In an interesting twist, I have reason to suspect that the person behind this blog (and the others linked to it) is a striking writer.
Dude, I know the studios are screwing you over, but does that really warrant a shot at Merv Griffin? Come on, man -- she's been dead for months!
In other words, the first entry on page one is:
And the last entry on page 52 is:65,000,000 BC: A mosquito becomes irrevocably trapped in tree resin. (Jurassic Park)
865,427,810 AD: Alexander Hartdegen briefly arrives in London from the year 802,701. (The Time Machine)
Sort of a time-waster, but certainly an impressive labor of love -- the site also offers you a chance to search by page, year, or keyword. In other words, you could search for your (or anyone's) birthday and see what events (real or fictional) match up to them.
At the same time, the movie nerd in me got a real kick out of seeing how things from various movies match up (or don't) when put side by side like this -- For example, when you dial up the year 1969, this is a partial listing of events that appear (possible spoiler alerts?):
Maybe not for everyone -- but certainly fascinating if you've got the time or interest to poke around a bit.
Fighter pilot T. J. Kong destroys entire world in vast nuclear annihilation. (Laputa, Russia - Dr. Strangelove) A chemical spill at the VA hospital brings corpses to life. (nr Pittsburgh - The Return of the Living Dead) Richard M. Nixon inaugurated as 37th President of the United States. (Washington, DC - Nixon)
I know -- some of you out there are probably too young to remember the hours poured into typing your way through Zork or The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, and the earliest games you remember are of the Pac-Man variety, but don't worry -- we've got you covered too, because someone just came up with the ultimate in gaming technology:Come on now, don't tell me you don't miss text-based adventure games just a little bit?
Yes indeed, we've finally reached the point where you can forego all that annoying joystick movement and play Pac Man the way it was meant to be played --Text-based Pac Man.
However, the recently-added sports page takes The Onion's brand of humor to places it's not ventured that much into over the years, with priceless results. If you're not a sports nut it's possible a lot of the gags will miss you (my two current favorite headlines are "Colorado Rockies: 'What The Fuck Just Happened?' and Suspended Tackle Albert Haynesworth: 'I Just Wanted To Make Sure The Guy Was Dead'), but if you've watched enough ESPN to be utterly sick of it, this might just be the alternative you're looking for.
As with so many of these old-time horror films, the story behind the movie is almost more interesting than the movie itself -- and Manos is no exception, as it's beginnings appear to be the result of some sort of bet between a fertilizer salesman (Harold P. Warren -- who not only produced the film, but directed and starred in it as well) who wagered with a screenwriter friend of his that he could easily create a successful horror film on a limited budget.
Clearly he lost the wager.The film might have faded into obscurity if it hadn't been for it's inclusion as one of the films lampooned by the crew of Mystery Science Theater 3000 back in 1993. Since then the movie has enjoyed a minor revival as a cult favorite.
If you've not seen this film -- be warned, it's not something I'd immediately recommend adding to your Netflix list. It's a slow paced, nonsensical, horribly dubbed mess of a film that really never goes anywhere story-wise -- which makes it perfect for the MST3K crowd, but makes it a hard sell anywhere else.
Still, the story of the struggle to get this albatross off the ground adds some interesting depth (especially considering the film and television writer's strike going on) to the other side of what happens when anyone says the magic words:
"How hard could it be?"
Please let these taste like crap, because otherwise they're sure to be the downfall of any weight loss plan I could ever come up with or consider joining.
Seriously.. pancake whippets?
Game over man, Game over!
This is probably the funniest thing I've read since Douglas Adams' The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul. I had to read it in sections because I would laugh too hard to keep going.
Very smart, dense, satire. It pulls no punches. Here's an example. Inscribed on the version of the Statue of Liberty at the time of the novel, in the late 1800s:
Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses from no further south than Spain and no further east than Russia (unless they're good with railroads).
You do this by mixing and matching images that you choose yourself, either from your own computer archives or from a variety of online libraries (including flickr).
Maybe not mix tapes the way we remember them, but a very cool idea nonetheless.
But after a long day of killing mutants and jumping around an undersea city in an old-school diving suit, what's a guy to do on a Wednesday night?
Take his daughter trick or treating.
Parental coolness (save for the fact that she apparently lives in the cabinet), Halloween costume ownage, and proof that video game cosplayers can occasionally get laid. What else do you need?
I'd say this is such a shirt.
HOWEVER, the voices, costumes, and sheer production quality of this one is worth noting. Also, the video is titled "Vader in Love pt 1"... so right away the possibility of crappy sequels are eliminated.
The Red Sox won, a base was stolen somewhere during the proceedings -- and true to their word, Taco Bell is ponying up free Tacos tomorrow between 2pm and 5pm.
Rockies Suck. Free food. 'Nuff said.
That being said, I did even worse than I ever thought I would.Maybe it was a matter of personal pride (or embarrassment over the fact that I clearly didn't know things I thought I did), but the reason I'm recommending this is that despite the difficulty factor I found myself taking multiple stabs at it trying to do better.
If there's actually such a thing as "pleasantly addictive," this is it.Once I finally ran out of gas with the thing it was easy to put down, but if you've got a couple extra minutes to kill and would like to take on a short-term mental challenge, this might just be for you.
Click here to see what happens when Harry Potter casualty and recently outed homosexual Dumbledore gets his own "Don't Tase Me Bro" moment.
All that's missing now is the companion shirt that says "Snape Shot First."
"Dane Cook's Disease, often referred to as "DCD," is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects the central nervous system. Those afflicted typically suffer from uncontrollable muscle spasms, wildly exaggerated movements, and the need to relay long-winded stories with no punch line, yet still expect to receive a hearty laugh."Tragic explanation for the behaviors one of pop cultures most overplayed douchebags. Won't you please help?
The video footage gets a bit NSFW at times, but it's funnier than Dane Cook.
If you're anything like me, this will be followed up immediately by wishing for it to go faster, but you can't have everything.
Btw -- I've made $2.00 during the time it took me to type this up.
But one thing that's remained fairly untouched is the design of many instruments themselves. Despite all the innovations, violins are for the most part violins, acoustic drums are still acoustic drums, and guitars are still guitars.
But now the custom shop at Gibson Guitars has made a big step, coming out with a line of guitars embedded with on-board electronics that are able to check the tuning of the instrument, and if they find something wrong -- will automatically tune the instrument for you..
Of course the catch here is that technology like this doesn't come cheap, but how about Gibson going ahead and loading this option onto their most expensive models only.
Seriously, I feel like Gibson is saying "Hey, Dan -- still can't afford a Les Paul? Then I guess you won't mind if we add another grand onto the price tag, eh?"
Still, very cool idea put into real-world use.
I'm sure Jimmy Page will get a lot of mileage out of it.
There's even a handy-dandy form for you to fill in your zip code to see where the closest theater that's playing it can be found.
It's actually been a while since I've seen this, so I'm thinking I might even get caught off guard and get scared all over again.
Regardless, what a cool way to spend a Thursday evening!
Dude, I love the movies too -- but I'm not "in love" with them, you know?
But the concept behind it -- that whole "So you think you could do this better than the pros? OK, smartguy -- Prove it." theory is one that offers all sorts of cool possibilities.
Case in point -- TV Bigshot: a site that enables you to start your own fantasy television network. You get a virtual budget of $300 Million to help you buy and sell shows to broadcast, chosen from the roster of programs that are currently on TV right now (Uber-hyped reality fest Kid Nation will set you back $64M, while perpetual ratings giant American Idol costs a budget-crippling $170 M).
The goal here is to setup a programming lineup that delivers more ratings points than anyone else -- with the prize at the end being a very real $100 grand.
If you're into TV drama much more than you're into touchdowns, yardage, and kicks -- this might just be for you.
It's an idea that makes you chuckle to think about -- but then when you actually see it in practice you find that the irreverence of the grammatically challenged felines cannot create the proper escape velocity to outrun the somber tone of most Post Secret statements. If anything, putting a face (even if it is a cat's) on some of these statements actually makes them seem heavier than they were originally when they were just on postcards.
That being said, there's still one or two zingers in there that are worth a smile.
I could take the high road and say that I love the art of cinema and am fascinated by the choices that production designers make to help create the stories that they're putting on the screen.
But the truth of the matter is that there have been many occasions where I'm watching The Big Lebowski where I thought to myself "That's a really cool t-shirt Jeff Bridges is wearing -- wonder if I could find one of those."
And, after many months of searching -- score.But then as I'm looking around the rest of the site I discover that the goal of the company involved is to make and sell replicas of t-shirts and stuff worn in various movies over the years. And when I say make, I'm not lying. Apparently they have a staff watching these films studying fonts and color matching and everything -- with impressive results. (which is why I'm happy to give them a pass on the typo on the front page that refers to Rob Reiners seminal rockumentary as "This is Spinbal Tap.")
And While I can't personally say that I've really been pining for a chance to buy Stile's "What Are You Looking At Dicknose" shirt from Teen Wolf -- how cool is it that someone out there is taking the time and effort to make one for me just in case I change my mind.
I'm an unabashed Rush fan (is there any other kind?). I'm pretty happy right now 'cause I scored a ticket for their last show this tour in Madison Square Garden without selling an organ. All hail Craig's list.
Anyway, Rush appreciates its fans, and they always play their biggest hit "Tom Sawyer" at live shows.
However, like any hit song, after several hundred times of playing the thing, it can get to be the same-old same-old. So a while back they started adding video intros to liven things up.
First the young girl from the Moving Pictures album was animated into a babe, who counted down the song. During the 30th anniversary tour, bobblehead figures of the band were headbanging on giant screens during the song.
Now, there's this.
Case in point -- despite the fact that he's been doing his thing for a while on YouTube, it's only been recently that this guy went viral, and he's already made it to this stage.
Tune in next week when he's in a house on VH1 trying to find true love.
ps - not that he needs the pub, but Perez' take is priceless.
Looking for examples? -- Here's basically all of them in 3 minutes.
This is the domestic re-release of an asian film called D-War, a film which my brother-in-law (currently living in Korea) -- whose tolerance for cheese is legendary (he's one of those people who loves truly great and rare things like Ralph Ellison, Neil Gaiman, and Frank Miller yet also has a high tolerance for things like the last album Metallica put out, movies starring the Rock, and the like).
You have been warned.
All you have to do to send a message is type in your text and let the system put it all together -- but before you do, take a look at what Bob's saying in the demo .. it might seem familiar.
Hey, at least it wasn't 'Soy Bomb'
Satorical sez: Here's how Maynard would have handled it.
Something about this struck me as extremely nifty... when artist San Base began morphing his older paintings to save on art supplies (after the economic collapse in Russia), he liked the effect. Realizing that a digital medium was most suited for this idea, he designed an algorithm that would automatically morph his paintings over time. The result is another case of apparent "choices" made by a computer (which in reality just illustrates how much like programmable logic our own brain operates), and some really nifty images.