Old School

Berkeley Breathed, saying it about as well as it needs to be said.

The Zoomies Chase Race

Having finally been exposed to the .jp-inspired consumer heaven that is Kid Robot, I can understand completely why someone (adults, most likely) would spend a work day on a scavenger hunt in order to win a complete set of Zoomies.

NY, SF, LA, and Miami only, so sorry.

Props to Dorie for the mad consumer lust.


The Hello Kitty Assault Rifle

Some loonball trying to make a Second Amendment point made this. It's real, it's deadly, and it has Hello Kitty on it.

I guarantee you my friend Megan wants one.


Hey Joel, Don't Make it Bad..

Longtime readers of this site should be well aware of our longtime love of the long-gone cult movie voiceover comedy brilliance that was Mystery Science Theater 3000. From the ever-fading (and at this point nearly unwatchable) VHS copies taped directly from comedy central when I was in college I carry around with me like the Ark of the Covenant to Satorical devoutly keeping up with all the books and side projects that the cast members are involved in to the continual pimping on this site of any attempts by the people who created the show to revive/update/rework the premise, we've stayed with you guys.
And don't get me wrong here. I love what you do.
But seriously -- can we settle on a name already?
Now it's Cinematic Titanic, featuring (once again) former MST3K cast members in silhouette skewering bad films from the past.

This time around it seems they're going back to the things that started them off, as the commentaries for the various films are done as part of live performances in front of audiences. In addition, this time around you can buy the DVD of the film with the commentary for a half-decent price (instead of plunking down $50 or more for DVD's that include original cuts of the bad films).

I'm not up on all the details, so I could be wrong here -- but the feeling I'm getting from the site is that Cinematic Titanic is comprised of everyone who is not a part of Rifftrax, or something vice versa, giving the impression of some sort of infighting or whatever -- which, considering how important and beloved this show and it's cast are to me should feel like that time period when Paul McCartney was killing us with the soft-rock stylings of Wings and John Lennon was making albums about peace with Yoko, but in the end sorta feels like that time Motley Crue toured with a bunch of guys who weren't in the original band, and played concerts that only featured tunes from the newer albums the replacement guys worked on.

Watching the trailer, I still find myself laughing at the gags -- but like every time I hear about a new album of original songs by the Rolling Stones coming out, all it really does is make me miss the old days of Tom Servo, Cambot, Crow, and Gypsy.

Hand Bell Hero

Probably should have snuck this one in before yesterday -- but it's still worth a look. It's your chance to make music the way the kids do these days, by pushing colored buttons when the dots come by.
Happy back to work day. Ring a ding ding.


Textured Linens for Your Comedy Bedsores

Satorical's holiday nod to Partially Clips put me in mind of Max Cannon's great work at Red Meat - a strip you may be familiar with if you're lucky enough to regularly read print editions of The Onion.

This was the best I could do for holiday shenanigans, which is a great endorsement of the site in and of itself:



You start with a tract of land. People visit and you get a house. There's farming. Hay is involved. More people visit and more houses pop up. Eventually there's a store or two, then some industry. Then the roads get a little clogged, and someone opens a gas station. Next thing you know the whole place is crammed with angry people, a Starbucks on every corner, and buildings that stretch higher than the eye can see.

Silly fun. Also apparently huge in Finland. What else do you need to know?

Yeah I'm double-posting this thing, but baby needs a
strip club -- so it's no sleep 'till Brooklyn, yaherrdme?


A Very Perry Christmas

Company Picnic

So, were you a part of one of those company Christmas parties this year? Worried that next year the various executive planning committees might get a little dicey when it comes to providing the fuel for future celebrations?

Perhaps you can take inspiration from this picture of a company picnic where apparently someone in corporate decided it would be a good idea to install a one-drink maximum, and one plucky (and presumably soon to be fired) rank-and-file employee volunteered to order the cups.


21 Versions of Winter Wonderland in 2 Minutes

Need some holiday spirit but don't have the time to wait around? Give this a try. It's a great little mashup of 21 separate versions of the Christmas classic Winter Wonderland performed by everyone you could think of, and several people you didn't want to.

If you've ever wondered what it would sound like if Frank Sinatra, William Hung, Stryper, Barney, Clay Aiken, The Partridge Family, Eurythmics, Willie Nelson and a host of other pop stars got together to round robin a tune, now's your chance.

The Holiday-O-Matic

Coming up with original holiday greetings is hard work, so why not let this little doodad do all the work for you? All you've got to do is pull the crank, and the machine spins and whirs until you get a completely original 3-part Holiday Greeting. And while many of these greetings include references to oil changes, Swedish meatballs, and karaoke -- you can betcha that none of your prospective friend's other well wishers out there will ever duplicate the wish you create and send to them.

OK, whatever. Long story short -- Every time you make one of these and send it the creators of the site makes a donation to a charity called Rotary First Harvest -- who help collect and distribute fresh produce to the less fortunate.

The quips that this thing spits out once the wheels stop turning remind me of all those old heckler insults that Johnny Carson used to fire off on the Tonight show, but it's still a nice little distraction on a Wednesday afternoon, right?

Enjoy -- and May Your Family Gathering be Fragrant and filled with Rainbows.


That's No Moon..

You Know What's a Tough Job?

Being a newscaster.

Possibly NSFW, even if it was shown on network TV.


Soooo Last Magical Christmas Season

Can't help but rehash this one, on the random off chance that somebody missed it last year.

Step One: Click on the link
Step Two: Roll your eyes at the link
Step Three: Laugh while you watch the link

That's the way you do it!

NSFW w/o headphones... or nearly any other place, for that matter.


This is Exactly What I Would Have Done Too

I don't know about you, but every time the Associated Press decides to use a word like "chug" I feel like the world is a better place.


The Truth is Out There. Meh.


Photos of the first day of shooting of X-Files 2!

The movie junkie net was beside its collective virtual self earlier this week at the speculated release of stills from on-set... and yesterday, they were finally brought to light.

And they're BORING.

Seriously, Duchovny looks like he might be thinking about a nap.

And yes, you're reading the landing site correctly - besides Duchovny and Gillian Anderson, the FBI is bolstered by Amanda Peet and Xhibit.

And you thought a John Singleton-helmed A Team was a bad idea.

The Christmas Tree Ornament Wizard™

Which do you prefer -- a Christmas tree that is a study in artistic design, covered in what seems a perfect balance of symmetry and color, or the wondrous multi-colored chaos that happens when you have a box of mis-matched ornaments with no rhyme or reason, and the sum total of years worth of stockpiling strings of Christmas lights that sorta work if you jiggle the bulbs when you plug them in?

If you're a fan of the first variety, here's something you might be interested in: A widget that takes into account the dimensions of your Christmas tree and then calculates the recommended number of ornaments that should be placed on it.

Seeing as there is no variable here for the number of cats or small children living in the same house as said tree, I can't see how this math could possibly be valid -- but it's here if you need it.

Do Websites Need To Look Exactly The Same in Every Browser?

Just in case you were wondering.

No. No. No. No. No.

As much as I love John Singleton's work, this has got bad idea written all over it. Didn't you schmucks learn anything when you remade S.W.A.T.?

Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.

On the other hand, there's this -- which when I first heard about it sounded like an awful idea, but now that I've seen the trailer can't get here soon enough.

ps -- Is it just me, or does the updated costume they put Emile Hirsch in make him sorta look like the Tron Guy?


The R2D2 Translator

Type in any text, hit the button -- and hear your message back in R2D2-speak. You can even download your "translations" for use as a ring tone.
Kinda cute. My kid's gonna love this.
At the same time, you just know some SW nerd out there is gonna call foul and say that the translations are all wrong. Who knows, maybe every time you type in a word to translate -- R2 simply responds to you with computerized obscenities, racial slurs, and yo' mama jokes.
Now you know why they don't serve their kind in here.

The Human Calendar®

I don't know -- It's kinda cute when you first see it, but if you ask me there's no way this stays funny for a month.

Still, neat idea.

Tommy's 12 Days Of Christmas

Tommy’s is a charity organization that exists to save babies’ lives in the UK, where one in four women loses a baby during pregnancy or birth. To help raise awareness and support for this cause, longtime web star Joel Veitch has come up with a flash video to accompany his take on an old holiday classic.

Support a good cause. Hear a funny song. Hasselhoff.
What else do you need to know?


The 10 Craziest Star Wars Tattoos

Jar Jar Binks. On your flesh ..FOREVER.

Be mindful -- one or two of these are NSFW. All are cringe-worthy.

What's Your Grinch Name?

Mine is Nastywhiner Jerkyjeans.

..How this relates to the Grinch is beyond me.

56 Geeks

Are you one of them (or more)?

Pac-Man Christmas Tree

How cool is this? An fully animated LED christmas tree featuring the original king of consumption, Pac-Man himself.


This is Why I Stopped Going to Indie Shows

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. If you ask me, this one is worth much, much more than that.

Prevent It Canada

Here's a series of commercials, flash games, and Beavis-style animations meant to prevent accidents (and yes, I'm milking material seen at Shut Up! I Hate You!).

My biggest problem with this is the tagline "There really are no accidents." Yes, there are. It's why the word "accident" exists. Control freaks just don't like to admit it.

That said, the Prevent It campaign does not spare you details on the consequences of carelessness. Did you like those movies in Driver's Ed showing what happened to drunk drivers? You'll love this.

Creature Discomforts

This is why Cartoon Brew is on our Permanently Recommended list. Their latest find is Creature Discomforts, a series of PSAs on how the disabled are viewed, styled after Aardman Animation's Creature Comforts.


Les Sans Culottes

The best fake French pop group you will ever see. Plus, hot chicks!

Playing this Wednesday at Southpaw in Park Slope.

Side note: When not heading LSC, lead singer Clermont can be seen at Freddy's in Brooklyn once a month running Big Ham Giveaway Karaoke. The event proves every time that the worse karaoke is, the better it is. Clermont himself does a killer "Mack the Knife." Check it.


The Cats in the Cradle

if it were up to my 7-year old boy, this webpage would have only one post -- the screaming beans. The utter purity of the giggling that comes from his mouth when he crushes the running legume in the middle is a wonder to behold. I'm sure one day he might be able to appreciate some of the other things on the site -- but so far, that's the top.

Or at least it was, until I came across this.

Like most ymtnd pages, the joke wears out pretty fast -- and if you're not a star wars nut there's a chance this one won't even get to you in the first place. But if the laughter and spontaneous re-creations he's been doing for the past two days are any indication, this one's a winner.

ps - to those who wonder if we're ever gonna stop featuring lame Star Wars humor on this site, I offer this brief reply.


Are These Celebrities Alive or Dead?

A little morbid when you think about it, but interesting just the same -- here is an interactive quiz that gives you the names and photos of 23 TV and Movie stars and asks one simple question.

At times I thought the quiz should have been called, "Man it's gonna suck when this person passes away" -- but like some strange online Dickens novel, the fact that many of the people you're not sure about actually turn out to still be kicking makes you feel kinda good inside for no apparent reason.

By the end of it I had 19 right and 4 wrong, which considering some of the ringers hiding in the list I'm feeling pretty good about.
See how you do!


Best Political Ad Ever

I don't actually want this guy for President, but this sure beats the crap normally thrown at us during elections.

Tim Tams

My dad lives in Australia. For the past few years he has been sending my grandmother Tim Tams.

Tim Tams are inspiring biscuits. Biscuits in the English sense, not the fried chicken side-dish sense.

I can hear you now.

"Oh, it's a cookie. Get a grip."

You simply do not know. This food single-handedly makes up for vegemite.

Here's Aussie Natalie Imbruglia and her lips demonstrating the way to take the Tim Tam to a new level. Even the famously not-impressed Graham Norton is conquered:

A Tim Tam is the type of food that's so good you have to dance with it.

John Spruill, this one's for you:

Tim Tams are sold in other countries under different names, and were actually sold in the US on a trial basis in supermarkets in 2001 under the brand name "Double Trouble." Apparently everyone mistook the boxes for Olsen Twin videos, because they didn't catch on.

There are some online stores that sell them, but I don't really want to know where they are, 'cause it would mean caloric doom.

Anyway, if you ever get the opportunity, eat them!

Holiday Hack Newsroom Bingo

One of the worst things about the this time of year is the endless recycling of holiday-themed stories by local news outlets. From NORAD tracking Santa Claus to hyping up "the first baby of the new year" -- we've heard it all before, and will surely hear it again.
So why not make it into a game?
This site lets you download a handy-dandy BINGO card that gives you the chance to use that story about those "craaaazy last minute shoppers" to your advantage.


The Angry-Gram

Now that Thanksgiving's over, the time has come to rid ourselves of all that friendliness and good cheer. Surely after having to sit there and share turkey with your friends and loved ones you were reminded of many of the reasons you don't eat with them every day.
If there was only some way to tell them how you feel..
Enter Angry-Gram, the latest viral advertising widget from Burger King. Part Bad-Libs, part Johnny Rotten -- this is probably what the Geico Lizard would be like if someone caught him, ground him into a patty, flame-broiled him, and then put him on a bun with lettuce, tomato, and cheese.



Looking for the perfect gift to give that good little boy or girl this Christmas?
How about some germs?
Not the slimy real ones, but these cute stuffed animal replicas. Probably more aimed at pediatricians and science teachers, but still available to anyone who wants them.
Sorta like venereal diseases (which they sell too).


Steve Burns is Not Dead

How former Blues Clues host Steve Burns is not a hipster god is beyond me. With an irony rating of +10, every time this guy lights up a smoke a soccer mom dies.

That's not to say an army of cute blue dogs could do anything to make his band sound better, but just in case you had heard any false information through the "former children's show gossip hotline" or wherever rumors about guys like this get started -- Steve is very much alive, and really needs to shave.


Wikipedia vs. Conservapedia

Speaking of Top Ten lists, check out this absolute gem from BoingBoing -- showing a listing of the top ten most viewed pages on Wikipedia, followed by a comparative listing of the top ten most viewed pages on the self-proclaimed "trustworthy encyclopedia" Conservapedia.
Classic stuff.

The 10 Most Bitter Female Rock Songs

With the writer's strike effectively sweeping the leg of that other guy who does Top Ten Lists on a regular basis -- it seems the remaining undisputed champion of the list game are the gang over at Cracked.com, who churn these things out with frightening regularity.

This time around it's The Top 10 Bitter Songs by Female Singers, a listing of 10 tunes by gals who at first were afraid (they were petrified), kept thinking they could never live without you by their side -- but then spent so many nights thinking how you did them wrong, and they grew strong, they learned how to get along.
Oddly enough, Gloria Gaynor's "I Will
Survive" does not appear on the list.
Take ten seconds to think about the subject of this list and you'll have already guessed what #1 is, but in usual Cracked.com style it's not the results that make it worth reading -- it's the snarky comments along the way.


Elf Yourself

The holiday season is finally upon us. It's a time for peace, good cheer, and love for your fellow man.
So in that spirit, here's our very own Monster
-- tasting the bitter wine of cold, dark, vengeance.

Scrooge Yourself

You there, young boy! What day is it?
Why it's Christmas Day, Mr Scrooge.
Christmas Day!! Then I haven't missed it!
That's right Ebenezer, I didn't forget about you, either.


Watch The Guild

I don't know how well this will resonate with the non-online-gaming crowd... but I suspect you'll either laugh because it confirms your stereotypes or you'll laugh because it hits close to home.

Either way, you're laughing.


Dust Mop Slippers

Now that I'm embarrassingly famous, people approach me at random all the time. On the street, at the Tex-Mex joint run by the Asian-Americans, the Hispanic pizzeria, when I'm using a urinal--everywhere. They approach me, humbly. They don't touch me, thank God. But in their little supplicating way, with hope in their eyes and stains on their off-the-rack clothes, they say, "Satorical, I hate cleaning floors." They also say "I hate wearing shoes," or, often as not, "I do not own any shoes," or "I have eaten my shoes."

This is my cue. This my chance to give back to the little people.

"Step back, you are impure," I say. "Please, really, you probably have TB."

Then I say "I know life has treated you poorly. You were not blessed with my good fortune or modesty."

"However," I say, "Your world is about to change," I also say, "for our civilization has reached a pinnacle of achievement with you, yes YOU in mind."

Then I stop speaking in boldface. I tell them about dust mop slippers. How they can get two pair, $6 a pair, and have one pair to use even when the other is in the laundry.

They usually are speechless, which is good--especially when I'm using the urinal. They back away, bowing, but with little bit more dignity, a little bit more joy.

I know that soon, very soon, they too will have clean clean floors.


Snow Joke (and other work by the Supergroup)

There's the guy I know who is just a little too good at cool stuff for me to say that I like him ALL the time. Seriously, though, Chris and the other guys at the Super Group have been making nifty web tricks for a while... but variable video makes my panda puppet clap.

Here's our very own Hex, snowboarding. In a beret.

Only You Can Prevent Ninjuries

Addiction, thy name is Squares 2

The upscale techno soundtrack and Piet Mondrian-esque shapes somehow add an air of class to this deceptively tricky game that you will surely be cussing at like a dockworker inside of three minutes.


Her Lady of Sealand

Become Lord or Lady of Sealand. Click here to apply. Two titles for $41.

His Lordship the Viscount St. Austell-in-the-Moor Biggleswade-Brixham, aka Doonesbury's Zonker, got his title pretty much this way.

Want to visit your royal lands? There they are, up above. It's an abandoned platform off the coast of Scotland. It has a helipad. Go nuts, your worship.

Men Who Look Like Old Lesbians.com

I'm not really sure if the intended recipient of this little jab is the men in the pictures or the old lesbians they are supposed to resemble -- and I'm sure part of me is probably going to hell for laughing at this as much as I did, but whoever decided to put Agent Cooper at the top of page one clearly had it in for me.

ps -- In an interesting twist, I have reason to suspect that the person behind this blog (and the others linked to it) is a striking writer.

Dude, I know the studios are screwing you over, but does that really warrant a shot at Merv Griffin? Come on, man -- she's been dead for months!



As usual, I'm way behind on what's cool. But I just saw these guys for the second time, and if you get the chance, go. Prog rock meets DnB, with some beatboxing and general modulated weirdness thrown into the mix. The three guitarists each have the mad scientist thing going on, but the core of the thing is drummer John Stanier, formerly of Helmet. He is a force, killing a sparse kit with crazy syncopation and danceable bass tom.

It's a treat.


If you haven't been getting enough weird, this'll fix you up right quick. Written by Jhonen Vasquez, the mastermind behind Invader Zim.

"It provides the type of sophistication that only a giant, drooling baby can give."

The Amateur Bone Cracker

Begging to differ. This guy is All-Pro.

Free Rice

Play a vocabulary game and earn free rice for the U.N. foodbank.


The Movie Timeline

Here's an interesting one: A detailed timeline of events related to Hollywood movies -- but perhaps more interestingly, this timeline also includes events that happen within the storylines of the films as well.

In other words, the first entry on page one is:
65,000,000 BC: A mosquito becomes irrevocably trapped in tree resin. (Jurassic Park)
And the last entry on page 52 is:
865,427,810 AD: Alexander Hartdegen briefly arrives in London from the year 802,701. (The Time Machine)
btw, you read that right -- 52 pages.

Sort of a time-waster, but certainly an impressive labor of love -- the site also offers you a chance to search by page, year, or keyword. In other words, you could search for your (or anyone's) birthday and see what events (real or fictional) match up to them.

At the same time, the movie nerd in me got a real kick out of seeing how things from various movies match up (or don't) when put side by side like this -- For example, when you dial up the year 1969, this is a partial listing of events that appear (possible spoiler alerts?):
  • Fighter pilot T. J. Kong destroys entire world in vast nuclear annihilation. (Laputa, Russia - Dr. Strangelove)
  • A chemical spill at the VA hospital brings corpses to life. (nr Pittsburgh - The Return of the Living Dead)
  • Richard M. Nixon inaugurated as 37th President of the United States. (Washington, DC - Nixon)
  • Maybe not for everyone -- but certainly fascinating if you've got the time or interest to poke around a bit.


    This Movie is About Cats Flying

    Just in case you weren't sure what the subject was:


    Math Made Easy

    (Some language NSFW, depending on who's reading over your shoulder).



    This is for casual gamers who want to gamble. I was up to $22 and should have cashed out. Now I've got about $1.50. Who knows, maybe the $10 mil has your name on it. Anyway, we have a ridiculous number of invitations. If you want in, click here.


    Wireless controllers? Direction-sensitive handpieces? Musical Instrument emulators? Sure all these things are great -- but whatever happened to the classics?
    Come on now, don't tell me you don't miss text-based adventure games just a little bit?
    I know -- some of you out there are probably too young to remember the hours poured into typing your way through Zork or The Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy, and the earliest games you remember are of the Pac-Man variety, but don't worry -- we've got you covered too, because someone just came up with the ultimate in gaming technology:
    Text-based Pac Man.
    Yes indeed, we've finally reached the point where you can forego all that annoying joystick movement and play Pac Man the way it was meant to be played --
    With words.

    The Onion Sports Page

    The Onion has long been an Internet favorite -- complete with it's mix of political and social commentary and rips on just about everything else you can think of. But like anything else on the web there comes a point where a little tends to go a long way. It's not that the Onion isn't funny anymore, it's more like I know the kind of joke they're going to tell and it tends to kind of take some of the punch out of things.

    However, the recently-added sports page takes The Onion's brand of humor to places it's not ventured that much into over the years, with priceless results. If you're not a sports nut it's possible a lot of the gags will miss you (my two current favorite headlines are "Colorado Rockies: 'What The Fuck Just Happened?' and Suspended Tackle Albert Haynesworth: 'I Just Wanted To Make Sure The Guy Was Dead'), but if you've watched enough ESPN to be utterly sick of it, this might just be the alternative you're looking for.


    The Story of Manos, The Hands of Fate

    Strictly for the MST-ies out there, an interesting article telling the story of one of the worst movies ever made -- Manos, The Hands of Fate.

    As with so many of these old-time horror films, the story behind the movie is almost more interesting than the movie itself -- and Manos is no exception, as it's beginnings appear to be the result of some sort of bet between a fertilizer salesman (Harold P. Warren -- who not only produced the film, but directed and starred in it as well) who wagered with a screenwriter friend of his that he could easily create a successful horror film on a limited budget.

    Clearly he lost the wager.
    The film might have faded into obscurity if it hadn't been for it's inclusion as one of the films lampooned by the crew of Mystery Science Theater 3000 back in 1993. Since then the movie has enjoyed a minor revival as a cult favorite.

    If you've not seen this film -- be warned, it's not something I'd immediately recommend adding to your Netflix list. It's a slow paced, nonsensical, horribly dubbed mess of a film that really never goes anywhere story-wise -- which makes it perfect for the MST3K crowd, but makes it a hard sell anywhere else.

    Still, the story of the struggle to get this albatross off the ground adds some interesting depth (especially considering the film and television writer's strike going on) to the other side of what happens when anyone says the magic words:
    "How hard could it be?"

    Endorphin Shot

    Yeah yeah yeah... everybody has a cute kid video online.

    But I dare you... TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU, even... not to laugh.


    Wow. Just.. Wow.

    An enterprising company has introduced a new product that has me both horrified and hungry at the same time.

    Please let these taste like crap, because otherwise they're sure to be the downfall of any weight loss plan I could ever come up with or consider joining.

    Seriously.. pancake whippets?

    Game over man, Game over!


    The Shroud of the Thwacker

    A spoof of the historical crime novel by Chris Elliott (yes, that Chris Elliott).

    This is probably the funniest thing I've read since Douglas Adams' The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul. I had to read it in sections because I would laugh too hard to keep going.

    Very smart, dense, satire. It pulls no punches. Here's an example. Inscribed on the version of the Statue of Liberty at the time of the novel, in the late 1800s:

    Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses from no further south than Spain and no further east than Russia (unless they're good with railroads).


    Make a Mixa

    Creating temporary/portable USB drives customized to look like all sorts of wacky things is nothing new, but here's a variation I think is pretty cool -- a blank cassette. But more than a way to make a modern style mix tape by filling up the drive with mp3's, pictures, video's or whatever you may like -- the twist here is that using the website's interface, you actually get to design the look of the "cassette's" outer shell.

    You do this by mixing and matching images that you choose yourself, either from your own computer archives or from a variety of online libraries (including flickr).

    Maybe not mix tapes the way we remember them, but a very cool idea nonetheless.


    Bioshock Halloween

    Bioshock is an video game made for X-Box 360 or PC players. Incorporating elements found in role-playing and survival horror games, it tells the story of a plane crash survivor named Jack, who must explore an underwater objectivist-dystopian city called Rapture and survive attacks from the mutated beings and mechanical drones living within it.

    But after a long day of killing mutants and jumping around an undersea city in an old-school diving suit, what's a guy to do on a Wednesday night?
    Take his daughter trick or treating.

    Parental coolness (save for the fact that she apparently lives in the cabinet), Halloween costume ownage, and proof that video game cosplayers can occasionally get laid. What else do you need?


    Glarkware T-Shirts

    Internet sites hawking T-shirts with ironic slogans may be the new black (see what I did there?), but every now and then you'll find one that's so good that you honestly hope that no one you personally know ever goes out and buys it -- so you can always say that you saw it first.
    I'd say this is such a shirt.

    C'mon Vader, Pull Yourself Together

    I know, I know... Star Wars videos are the baby rabbbits of the web 2.0 universe.

    HOWEVER, the voices, costumes, and sheer production quality of this one is worth noting. Also, the video is titled "Vader in Love pt 1"... so right away the possibility of crappy sequels are eliminated.



    Free Taco Tuesday

    Prior to the start of the World Series, Taco Bell made a deal saying that if a base was stolen during any part of the championship, they'd give a free taco to anyone who wanted one.

    The Red Sox won, a base was stolen somewhere during the proceedings -- and true to their word, Taco Bell is ponying up free Tacos tomorrow between 2pm and 5pm.
    Rockies Suck. Free food. 'Nuff said.


    I have no idea what the text on this site says, but I'm thinking that's probably a good thing.


    Patton Oswalt and the Time Machine

    Came across this while I was putting together some stuff for a recent Star Wars post I did over at Sleep Dirt, and it's just too good not to share.

    MST3K: The Shorts

    For all of you MST-ies out there, here's a great listing of short films and episode highlights linked to their corresponding videos on YouTube and Google video, followed by a long list of snarky comments in the talkback section (gee, wonder where they got that idea?)

    Trick or Treat Lessons

    Once upon a time, no one was a big star yet.

    Sometimes it's not so hard to see why things change.


    The Coffee Song

    From the Too Much Coffee Man album, written by Bob Dorough when he was 74. Mr. Dorough sang with Miles Davis. He's 81 and still performs, including his Schoolhouse Rock songs.

    (RealPlayer required)

    Deadly Cute

    I've always been kinda hit or miss about the weekly Photoshop contests they have over at Worth1000, but every now and then they come up with something that just works, even if it's disturbing as hell.


    Unfortunate Outdoor Ad Placements

    Nothing like spending extensive time coming up with a branding strategy, working on visual concepts, creating the ads, and launching the campaign -- only to have it show up in a place where the message doesn't come across at all.

    Cartoon Dump

    Written by Frank Conniff of MST3K (Joel Hodgson also appears), this is a cute little adult framing show for awful cartoons.

    Plus, I have a total crush on Buf Badger.


    Lufthansa's Virtual Pilot

    It's not like going into this point and click "land the plane in the right place" game feeling like I was going to win easily, because when it comes to Western European geography I'm certainly not an expert.
    That being said, I did even worse than I ever thought I would.
    Maybe it was a matter of personal pride (or embarrassment over the fact that I clearly didn't know things I thought I did), but the reason I'm recommending this is that despite the difficulty factor I found myself taking multiple stabs at it trying to do better.
    If there's actually such a thing as "pleasantly addictive," this is it.
    Once I finally ran out of gas with the thing it was easy to put down, but if you've got a couple extra minutes to kill and would like to take on a short-term mental challenge, this might just be for you.


    Dumbledore Pride

    Further proof that nothing actually happens in the world until someone creates a t-shirt about it.

    Click here to see what happens when Harry Potter casualty and recently outed homosexual Dumbledore gets his own "Don't Tase Me Bro" moment.

    All that's missing now is the companion shirt that says "Snape Shot First."


    Dane Cook's Disease

    "Dane Cook's Disease, often referred to as "DCD," is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects the central nervous system. Those afflicted typically suffer from uncontrollable muscle spasms, wildly exaggerated movements, and the need to relay long-winded stories with no punch line, yet still expect to receive a hearty laugh."
    Tragic explanation for the behaviors one of pop cultures most overplayed douchebags. Won't you please help?
    The video footage gets a bit NSFW at times, but it's funnier than Dane Cook.


    Your Name In Monster Stickers

    (Spiral Notebook with Metallica written on the back not included)

    Cubicle Freakout

    Is it a game, or is it real life?
    Depends on the day, right?
    Vent your workaday stress by clicking on the various items that live with you in your little box and doing exactly what you've always wanted to with them.


    Pass The Head

    Somewhere in front of this, Peter Gabriel is singing.

    Your Salary -- While You Watch

    If you've got a little time to kill at work and wanted to know what your money looks like while you're sitting there pretending to be working -- try this on for size. Just type in your salary, hit the button, and then watch it go.

    If you're anything like me, this will be followed up immediately by wishing for it to go faster, but you can't have everything.
    Btw -- I've made $2.00 during the time it took me to type this up.


    What Really Happened to All Those Toys You Lost When You Were a Kid

    Zombies got them. Zombie DOLLS!

    Mr. PotatoMash

    A gallery of custom potatoheads, portraying characters from movies, TV, and more.

    Some choices are obvious, some not so much. There's even a list of upcoming Potatoheads to come in the future. Viva free time, eh?


    Sparknotes: The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

    Suggested Essay Topic:
    "Explain how Will was able to find a cab that would apparently, judging solely by the lyrics, take him from Philadelphia all the way to Bel-Air."

    See Mike Draw

    This one's getting a lot of run lately, and for good reason. Funny stuff to break up your day.


    The Top 10 Rap Songs White People Love

    Painfully accurate listing that many of my coworkers probably already have as a playlist on their iPod.


    Once More With Feeling

    Like a phoenix from the ashes, the Monster rises with a highly recommended internet gem!

    Pardon my reaction, but that fire was HOT.


    A Truly Cool Idea (If you can afford it)

    There's no denying that the marriage between technology and music has been one of the most mutually beneficial pairings that's happened in art in modern times. From the development of the synthesizer and drum machines giving birth to new genres of music to improvements made in sound processing and recording helping improve the quality of almost every recorded form -- the benefits are obvious.

    But one thing that's remained fairly untouched is the design of many instruments themselves. Despite all the innovations, violins are for the most part violins, acoustic drums are still acoustic drums, and guitars are still guitars.

    But now the custom shop at Gibson Guitars has made a big step, coming out with a line of guitars embedded with on-board electronics that are able to check the tuning of the instrument, and if they find something wrong -- will automatically tune the instrument for you..

    Of course the catch here is that technology like this doesn't come cheap, but how about Gibson going ahead and loading this option onto their most expensive models only.

    Seriously, I feel like Gibson is saying "Hey, Dan -- still can't afford a Les Paul? Then I guess you won't mind if we add another grand onto the price tag, eh?"

    Still, very cool idea put into real-world use.
    I'm sure Jimmy Page will get a lot of mileage out of it.


    Poltergeist 25th Anniversary Screening

    I only just found out about this -- but today apparently is the 25th anniversary of the exceptionally creepy/fun horror film Poltergeist, and to celebrate -- it's going to be screened for ONE NIGHT ONLY (tonight) at theaters across the country.

    There's even a handy-dandy form for you to fill in your zip code to see where the closest theater that's playing it can be found.

    It's actually been a while since I've seen this, so I'm thinking I might even get caught off guard and get scared all over again.
    Regardless, what a cool way to spend a Thursday evening!

    Looking for a Job, But Don't Really Want to Work That Hard?

    If the ad is any indication, this company might just be for you.

    "People Who Like This Also Like..."

    Scroll down on the linked page for more ways to demean both your dog and yourself.


    Josh Budich's Star Wars Collection

    Speaking of people who apparently have some free time on their hands, check out this guy -- who took his extensive (and admittedly impressive) collection of Star Wars action figures, photographed them all, and then created this interactive flash site that enables you not only to view each one individually in their original box -- but cross-reference them with a mouse click to see them listed by movie, year, series ..jeez.
    Dude, I love the movies too -- but I'm not "in love" with them, you know?

    Simpsons Movie References Index

    Needed? I don't know -- But you've got to give the guy props for putting in the time. Plus it makes me want to watch a couple of these episodes, which probably isn't a bad thing either.


    Forbidden Lego Projects

    You've got to love the guys over at ThinkGeek.

    One of this week's new products is a book that shows you how to build lego projects that are just flat out dangerous.

    I think this is awesome, but nobody tell my seven-year-old.



    Certainly more of a live experience than recorded, these guys bring the atmospherics, and have more effects pedals than you. For that matter, they probably have more pedals than The Edge.


    Across the Universe

    Oprah and I are on the same page here. As always, Julie Taymor brings the fantastic visuals. If this is playing in your neighborhood, go immediately.


    Faces in Places

    I thought I was the only one who still did this anymore.
    Fun little photoblog where faces are found in ordinary things. Scrolling through it feels kinda like watching Sesame Street with the sound turned down.

    TV Bigshot

    Fantasy Football isn't for everyone.

    But the concept behind it -- that whole "So you think you could do this better than the pros? OK, smartguy -- Prove it." theory is one that offers all sorts of cool possibilities.

    Case in point -- TV Bigshot: a site that enables you to start your own fantasy television network. You get a virtual budget of $300 Million to help you buy and sell shows to broadcast, chosen from the roster of programs that are currently on TV right now (Uber-hyped reality fest Kid Nation will set you back $64M, while perpetual ratings giant American Idol costs a budget-crippling $170 M).

    The goal here is to setup a programming lineup that delivers more ratings points than anyone else -- with the prize at the end being a very real $100 grand.

    If you're into TV drama much more than you're into touchdowns, yardage, and kicks -- this might just be for you.



    Continuing today's theme of Internet fads crashing into each other -- someones taken the brilliance that is Post Secret and mashed it up Q-Unit style with those love 'em or hate 'em lolcats.

    It's an idea that makes you chuckle to think about -- but then when you actually see it in practice you find that the irreverence of the grammatically challenged felines cannot create the proper escape velocity to outrun the somber tone of most Post Secret statements. If anything, putting a face (even if it is a cat's) on some of these statements actually makes them seem heavier than they were originally when they were just on postcards.

    That being said, there's still one or two zingers in there that are worth a smile.

    The Walker Texas Ranger Button

    The ever popular "Will it Blend?" series decides to take on something really tough -- Chuck Norris.
    How do you think it will turn out?
    Answer quick, before Chuck kicks you in the soul.



    It probably makes me sound like a dork -- but when it comes to the kinds of movies that I have watched millions of time over again, I sometimes find myself focusing on things outside of the plots and dialogue.

    I could take the high road and say that I love the art of cinema and am fascinated by the choices that production designers make to help create the stories that they're putting on the screen.

    But the truth of the matter is that there have been many occasions where I'm watching The Big Lebowski where I thought to myself "That's a really cool t-shirt Jeff Bridges is wearing -- wonder if I could find one of those."
    And, after many months of searching -- score.
    But then as I'm looking around the rest of the site I discover that the goal of the company involved is to make and sell replicas of t-shirts and stuff worn in various movies over the years. And when I say make, I'm not lying. Apparently they have a staff watching these films studying fonts and color matching and everything -- with impressive results. (which is why I'm happy to give them a pass on the typo on the front page that refers to Rob Reiners seminal rockumentary as "This is Spinbal Tap.")

    And While I can't personally say that I've really been pining for a chance to buy Stile's "What Are You Looking At Dicknose" shirt from Teen Wolf -- how cool is it that someone out there is taking the time and effort to make one for me just in case I change my mind.


    Lil' Rush

    I'm an unabashed Rush fan (is there any other kind?). I'm pretty happy right now 'cause I scored a ticket for their last show this tour in Madison Square Garden without selling an organ. All hail Craig's list.

    Anyway, Rush appreciates its fans, and they always play their biggest hit "Tom Sawyer" at live shows.

    However, like any hit song, after several hundred times of playing the thing, it can get to be the same-old same-old. So a while back they started adding video intros to liven things up.

    First the young girl from the Moving Pictures album was animated into a babe, who counted down the song. During the 30th anniversary tour, bobblehead figures of the band were headbanging on giant screens during the song.

    Now, there's this.


    Chocolate Pain

    It's a little scary to see just how quickly the web is moving these days.

    Case in point -- despite the fact that he's been doing his thing for a while on YouTube, it's only been recently that this guy went viral, and he's already made it to this stage.

    Tune in next week when he's in a house on VH1 trying to find true love.

    ps - not that he needs the pub, but Perez' take is priceless.


    PARK(ing) Day

    Turning public spaces into temporary parks.


    Internet People

    Here at Highly Recommended Thing of the Moment, we do our best to point out things of all varieties that we think are worth pointing out. Sometimes it's music, sometimes it's gadgets, sometimes it's just funny or weird stuff we see out on the web. Of course as you well know in that last category, there's always plenty to choose from -- some good, some not so great.

    Looking for examples? -- Here's basically all of them in 3 minutes.


    Worst. Movie. Ever.

    Let's be crystal clear here. What we're recommending is avoiding this movie.

    Says Hex:

    This is the domestic re-release of an asian film called D-War, a film which my brother-in-law (currently living in Korea) -- whose tolerance for cheese is legendary (he's one of those people who loves truly great and rare things like Ralph Ellison, Neil Gaiman, and Frank Miller yet also has a high tolerance for things like the last album Metallica put out, movies starring the Rock, and the like).
    This person, who can argue to the cows come home about the subtext of Frederick Douglass while listening to ACDC dubbed D-War THE WORST MOVIE HE'S EVER SEEN.
    And I watched Wishmaster 1 and 2 with this guy.

    You have been warned.


    Everything Except Compromise

    This is cool -- a message generator using one of my all-time favorite Dylan tunes --Subterranean Homesick Blues in the setting so many of us know it best from, D. A. Pennebaker's 1967 documentary Don't Look Back.

    All you have to do to send a message is type in your text and let the system put it all together -- but before you do, take a look at what Bob's saying in the demo .. it might seem familiar.

    Hey, at least it wasn't 'Soy Bomb'

    Satorical sez: Here's how Maynard would have handled it.


    A Life With Jazz

    Exceptionally cool -- a collection of photos taken by Herman Leonard, a photographer who's work appeared on more than 200 album covers. From portraits to candids, these exceptional images take you into the world of some of the most iconic artists in Jazz history.


    The Virgin Dog

    The Virgin Dog is a studio project by the proposterously talented and prolific Ian Roure and Ross Bonnadonna.

    Full album online, gratis.


    Self-shifting digital paintings

    Something about this struck me as extremely nifty... when artist San Base began morphing his older paintings to save on art supplies (after the economic collapse in Russia), he liked the effect. Realizing that a digital medium was most suited for this idea, he designed an algorithm that would automatically morph his paintings over time. The result is another case of apparent "choices" made by a computer (which in reality just illustrates how much like programmable logic our own brain operates), and some really nifty images.

    The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

    The quotation mark. Punctuation so nice you get to use it twice.
    ..Too bad no one seems to know what the hell it's for.

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