A Life With Jazz

Exceptionally cool -- a collection of photos taken by Herman Leonard, a photographer who's work appeared on more than 200 album covers. From portraits to candids, these exceptional images take you into the world of some of the most iconic artists in Jazz history.


The Virgin Dog

The Virgin Dog is a studio project by the proposterously talented and prolific Ian Roure and Ross Bonnadonna.

Full album online, gratis.


Self-shifting digital paintings

Something about this struck me as extremely nifty... when artist San Base began morphing his older paintings to save on art supplies (after the economic collapse in Russia), he liked the effect. Realizing that a digital medium was most suited for this idea, he designed an algorithm that would automatically morph his paintings over time. The result is another case of apparent "choices" made by a computer (which in reality just illustrates how much like programmable logic our own brain operates), and some really nifty images.

The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks

The quotation mark. Punctuation so nice you get to use it twice.
..Too bad no one seems to know what the hell it's for.


Yet Another Sign of the Apocalypse

Crocs are evil. Uggs are evil. The only thing that could possibly be worse?

Such As and What Not, Et Cetera Et Cetera

You know, there was a time when being a vapid, clueless beauty queen was okay. There was even a time when it was okay to ramble when you were asked a question that caught you off-guard, hoping you were able to make some sense of it. Seriously, these kinds of things are expected, and though they aren't shining moments in beauty pageants, they happen, we get it, we'll move on.

Then along comes the Internet, where context is the most valuable commodity. There's part of me that feels really bad for Miss Teen South Carolina... but on the other hand, this is hilarious.

Special programming note: Check out the look of horrified amusement on the face of Mario Lopez. Yes sweetie, Mario Lopez feels sorry for YOU.


The World Clock

I don't think this interesting little app is meant to be such a downer, but the numbers presented do seem kinda staggering. And that was all before I clicked on the button showing what was happening right now -- and then watched the tolls rack up right before my eyes.
Still fascinating -- just a little dark, you know?


Awful Tattoos

At the bottom of each page in this blog-housed photo collection are navigation controls that enable you to delve deeper and deeper into what can only be described as a house of tattoo horrors.

From the gaudy and garish to the out and out inexplicable, the dark side of the body art boom is on display for all to see. I could drink up all of our sites bandwidth re-posting the ones that made me laugh the most, but I think this particular one sums it all up in one colorful, patriotic, intergalactic, family-values inspired shot.

Moan My IP.com

This woman knows what your external IP address, and she reads it back to you in a totally convincing way.
Not really unsafe for work per se, but you might do yourself a favor and turn your speakers down before your boss has the chance to find out just how sexy funny the word "dot" can be.

Rocco DeLuca & The Burden

Right now you're asking yourself "Rocco DeLuca... where do I know that name from?"

The answer is that 24 star and music fan Keifer Sutherland made a documentary about the group called I Trust You To Kill Me that was released about the same time as the album of the same name (which was released on a record label Sutherland co-owns with Jude Cole) - additionally, Sutherland spend a little while acting as the band's tour manager (he was apparently so bad at it they fired him) - providing the band with a lot of initial publicity and buzz when they first hit the scene.

It would be easy to dismiss a band with this kind of history as just some vanity project for an actor who wanted to be a rock star for a while, but that would be a terrible mistake -- especially if you haven't had a chance to see these guys live.

From soulful to delicate, controlled to chaotic -- DeLuca and the Burden's live set is dynamic, powerful, and guaranteed to open your eyes about the possibilities of slide-guitar when taken beyond the blues.


Jurassic Park IV, Worse than Rocky Balboa.

In Jurassic Park IV, the dinosaurs will have guns.

That noise you just heard was Michael Crichton, executing the first ever combination scream-in-abject-horror and retch-in-total-disgust.

This or That?

Pretty much what it says. Given two choices, can you pick the right one?

Aside from some racy language and a few mental images I'd rather not have pondered, it's a great little time waster.


120 Minutes

This one's pretty cool -- a blog featuring a huge volume of YouTube videos of songs once played on MTV's 120 Minutes during it's original run from 1986 to 2000.
All that's missing is Dave Kendall.


Los Disneys

Video game about a possible future in which Disney has purchased Florida and rigged the surrounding waters with defensive nukes. You are a commando sent to save the world from the Mouse. Free download.

Bonus points if you wear your felt and plastic Mickey ears while playing.

"See you real soon, motherf..."


What if Business Meetings Were Like the Web?

ps - I can only imagine what the first comment on this will be..

NSFW Sunday -- Or is It?

In this video, all of the following things happen:

* Porn star Jenna Jameson does Chewbacca.
* Or actually tries to and discovers that she can't handle it.
* The other girl giggles and suggests that Jenna open her mouth wider.

..Totally safe for work.



Phil Hansen and his Gallery of Wonders!

There's a lot I could say about how neat Phil's artwork is, but here's a video of him creating a portrait of Bruce Lee by dipping his hands in paint and karate-chopping the canvas.


The Hillary Clinton Nutcracker

As election season continues to pre-heat in the blogosphere, things like this will continue to pop up (I'm envisioning a Barack Obama dustbuster, a Rudi Guliani cereal bowl caddy, et. al) but considering who we're dealing with here isn't this a bit overdue?
If nothing else, three cheers for session musicians, eh?


Code of #$(@)!! Conduct

I can't help but think that this would be a standard if Hex owned a movie theatre (NSFW - language).

Also, it seemed appropriate, since the last post was post number 666! Hooray for arguably notable counter culture evil milestones!

How Do You Like Them Apples?

It's not a cookie, it's a math joke.

Lets Go Surfin' Now, Ev'rybody's Learnin' How

The heat outside lately is BRUTAL. We should all go out to the pool and cool off (as long as the crowds aren't too bad).


Theoreticians Working for YOU

Ever wonder why there are so many dickwads on the Internet? Well,


Great New Imaging Software, Minus the Newness

In my line of work, it's really important to control every aspect of a design from start to finish.

Finally, I've always had the answer.

Demographic Shifts

I was tempted to set this up as "Battle of the Shitty Bands," but there's something going on here. Like the rest of Gen X (Thanks Coupland, you dick), I'm getting old. So guess what? I'm not the target audience for this music.

Some music is meant to annoy. As a diehard Devo fan, I appreciate that.

But I don't think that's what's going here. I saw this first band at Warped, where the kids went nuts for them. They are truly metal-by-numbers, with some Tiger Beat sprinkled on top. That was the case for about half the bands at Warped, actually. The other half were punk-pop (I was there for Tiger Army and Bad Religion, if you must know).

My good friend Alexis said that the second band was her definition of Hell, yet the audience of NYU kids were dancing their asses off to it all.

The point is that while these bands may have their tongues in their cheeks (or someone else's), they are actually into the music. Good for them.

Still, IMO, bad for us.

Or, as Matt Groening put it 25 years ago,

Q: Is today's music as lame as it sounds?

A: Yes.


PartiallyClips - The Cliche Monster

Not sure whether the boys over at PClips are referring to our Monster or not, but it's just too singular a reference to pass up.

Mad love to Bill for the link.


To be honest, I've never really been much good at this, even in the real world version. I know there are people out there who can draw any and everything on these and do really fancy things, but I'm lucky if I can create boxy versions of dirty words on it.

Still, lots of fun to mess around with.


Instrument Fetishism

I've never known a musician who didn't enjoy just looking at instruments, talking about them, and the like. It's like sports talk, but as a means to expressing passion--or at least getting the nervous tics out.

Personally, I can't play shit, but that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the amount of love that went into making these beauties. Some of them aren't so sightly, but none lacked for effort.

Know of better galleries? Post 'em in Comments.

Bore Worms for Sale

While looking for information to help me drive home a point about a recent story I was working on, I came across this handy-dandy advertisement.

To be honest, as many times as I've watched Flash Gordon I'd never really thought about how much a Bore Worm might cost. I guess I just assumed they were homegrown in a fishbowl like those earworm things from The Wrath of Khan.

Still, even if $199 per worm is a good deal -- if you're in the business of getting confessions your primary concern should be quality. Which is why the folks over at boreworms.com have been gracious enough provide this list of features that you might find helpful in making your bore worm purchase decision:
  • Really hurts
  • No unsightly scarring
  • Single Bore Worm for as little as $199
  • Ten Bore Worms $999
  • Rental terms available
  • The celebrity endorsement from Klytus is a nice touch too.

    The Day Clock

    It's a clock -- except that it dispenses with all the annoying intricacies of things like what time it is in favor of simply letting you know what day you're currently awake during.

    I know the website says this is the perfect gift for retirees or kids or whatever, but what I truly love the most about this advertisement is the unwritten sentiment that says "do you drink a lot, or know someone who does?"


    The NSFW Sunday True Hollywood Story

    Tinseltown's a tough place. One minute you're the star of one of the biggest movies of the 1980's -- selling millions at the box office, making superstars out of your supporting cast, and spawning a franchise that raked in fans again, again and again.
    But fame only lasts so long, doesn't it?
    What do you do when your agent stops calling? What do you do when you've become a cliche, and even the people who's careers you've helped create have moved on to other, supposedly more legitimate careers (like politics)?

    There are lots of choices you could make -- some better than others.

    ..Or at least that the lesson one of Hollywood's former greats learned the hard way when times got tough and he needed to make some quick cash.
    Mama, don't let your babies grow up to be Skynet.


    The Internet is a Creepy, Creepy Place

    Move your mouse, it makes him happy.Do it now -- before he eats us all.


    The Friday Smile: Slackin Edition

    You can always tell when things get busy in our lives by the amount of posts that show up in a given week here at HRToTM. Family, Jobs, Ungodly hot weather everywhere you turn, the reasons are all around, and sometimes it just gets to be too much.

    But that still doesn't mean there's nothing at all to look at. So check out the week that was:
  • First off, we featured two flash games based off the lesser known Snow White dwarfs Slappy and Poopy
  • Staying in the enchanted forest, we got baked with the Muff Mob
  • Here's the worst timed post of all time -- a new blanket (which is just what everyone needs in a heat wave)
  • Followed by instructions for floating, courtesy of the Monster
  • We mourned the passing of a supermarket favorite
  • Gave the dog a bone
  • And then found out about something that would have made a perfect article for that magazine -- the Ivy-league posture photo scandal.
  • Hopefully next week we'll get back on track, but until then -- thanks for continuing to check in and see what we have to offer.


    The Great Ivy League Nude Posture Photo Scrapbook

    Yes, the article was originally printed in 1995.

    No, there aren't any pictures.

    Yes, it's extremely interesting anyway, if you like antiquated ivy-league rituals, pseudoscience, and creepy Nazi-style mad scientists, that is.


    The Michael Vick Chew Toy

    It's not as funny as it would be if dogs were actually allowed to chew and maul Mike himself, but until they lock him up and throw away the key -- I have no problem piling on.

    Moment of Silence

    A moment of silence, please. The Weekly World News is folding.

    For years, Hex wanted to write for this fine, fine publication. I remember when my tabloid-addicted mom finally stopped buying it, for not being up to her celebrity gossip standards. Meanwhile, it got weirder and weirder.

    Click the link for the full history and some great laughs. Here's a snippet:

    "One day -- Lind swears this is true -- Eddie Clontz got a call from an irate FBI agent complaining that the bureau's switchboard was swamped with calls demanding that they free Bat Boy."


    That's Levitation, Holmes

    The article at Breitbart talks about a possible scientific basis for the phenomenon of levitation. That's pretty impressive, but since it contradicts certain other theories, we'll see how it holds up in the court of public superstition, er, opinion.

    The Slanket

    It's a blanket with sleeves. Or perhaps it's a shirt without buttons. Or maybe it's a really, really fluffy hospital gown. Or maybe it's more like a backwards jacket. Basically it's a huge bib.

    The real key here is that you don't have lose precious warmth while checking your MySpace page for memes to forward to everyone.

    All kidding aside, it does look comfortable - but
    geez, cut the laptop extension umbilical cord much?


    Just Imagine What the Wii Versions are Like

    I'm having a dilemma, and I'm hoping you can help me out --

    Which game is the most fucked up?
    This one (takes a little getting used to -- it's best to read the instructions first)?

    - or -
    This one?


    The Friday Smile: Extreme(ly painful) Sports Edition

    Hey again gang, it's Friday again -- time to shake off those Bobby Brooks and do what you please.
    Especially if what you please involves checking out the week that was here at HRTotM!
    But instead of flipping a coin to start regulation time with a kickoff and some tackling, lets shake things up a little bit and shred like those kids who are all jacked up on Mountain Dew and self-importance.

    How about crankin' a bitchin' snowboard body shot off Mrs. Garrett? --Not your thing? Well how about sky surfing with NASA's finest, um.. Right Stuff.
    Not into that either, eh? Hmmmm..
    Fine, tell you what -- send me an email and let me know what your tastes are. But be specific, don't fake the funk on this assignment, less you end up cursed with some kind of antique sporting event that makes you feel like you're stuck back in the days of black and white film.

    Take a risk, get in a little trouble -- get rid of that bat and ball, strap on some skates and then sprint all the way to the finish line so you can taste all the glory for yourself.
    Just as long as you don't do this, you should be ok:

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