NSFW Sunday: The Lifestyle and You

Looking for a new hobby? Need to know what it takes to be a part of "The Lifestyle?" Check out this informative and educational video to see just how easy it is to get in on all that hot monkey action.

-- Mad monkey love to Jenea for the link ;)


Daft Hands

It takes her minute to get going, and once you figure out the idea it ends up getting old in a hurry -- but do me favor and hang around at least until she links the whole thing together that first time and tell me that it's not just a little bit kickass.


Anything Neal Stephenson Has Ever Written, Done, Thought, Uttered, or Noted Might Be Acceptable with a Slight Tilt of His Head

If you haven't read Snow Crash, Cryptonomicon, or In the Beginning ...was a Command Line, then we could be better friends if you'd just get off your ass and get to the library.

If you haven't read The Baroque Cycle, well, don't worry, I haven't finished it either.

That's about to change, though, because this article at Wired about author Neal Stephenson is one of those peeks into a celebrity's life and persona that force you to stop and say, "Ah, dammit, that guy really is as cool as he seems." His new book takes place in a brand new world, with its own history, its own language, its on socio-political turmoil into which its characters are thrust (and thus, vicariously, are we). I don't know about you, but this sounds to me like it could possibly maybe be perhaps ohgodi'mafraidtotypethis...

... you know, Neal Stephenson's Dune.

And if that's true, my inner geek has died and gone to heaven. Like the theatre nerd inside me did when he heard that Burton and Depp had teamed up to do Sweeney Todd. Like the comic book loser inside me did when Mike Mignola took on the steam-punk Batman story "Gotham by Gaslight".

The skinny is that yes, Stephenson is a sci-fi writer. He gets long-winded and his action is laced with subtle but ever-present philosophical suggestions. But he is amazing at what he does, and this is one of those rare times in popular culture where a talented person has worked their way into enough real-time success that they can do exactly what it is that they're so good at - and in its fullest form.

Catch up on the Neal if you don't know him already. I'll meet you at the library over lunch.

Sexy People

It's kind of like Post Secret, but without the anonymity. People send in their old portrait photographs, and the rest of us shudder. Good times.

The Tragedy of Grover

This has been an oft-discussed topic for me, but the folks over at Deja Poop do a really nice job of chronicling the Muppet universes greatest victim, furry lovable old Grover.


Chuck Norris' Twitter

There's a lot of Buzz going around right now about some fake Mad Men-inspired twitter accounts that were suspended after the AMC network protested.

And even though AMC eventually relented and let the fun continue, the door is now open, prompting some to wonder if some other fake twitter-ers might not be quite as lucky.

If that's the case, then you need to see this one now -- before someone tries to suspend the account and ends up with a boot in their face.

5 Reasons Why Neil Diamond Will Always Rock...Softly

Neil Diamond. You kinda hate him, but you know the words to every one of his songs. He's one of those guys. Here's five possible reasons why. Digest, discuss, and dissect.


Yearbook Yourself

Cool idea here where you take a pic of yourself and set it up so you can see kinda what you'd look like if you lived (and went to school) in a series of different eras. Want to know what you'd look like in the 50's? Ever been curious to know what you the hippie would look like? Need a painful reminder of the 80's? This site makes it happen.

Note: The interface is simple, but choose your photo wisely to get the full effect.


Advice for Would-Be Presidents

Should Obama win the general election, he should remember the 9th President of the USA.


NSFW Sunday -- This Thing I Like to Do After..

Moral of the story: If you see a guy with one of those tanktop nightshirts -- RUN.


The Friday Smile -- Yeah, He Always Does That Edition

One of the things I really like about the idea behind this site is that the world is simply too big sometimes to keep up with. You try to keep up with the news, people forward you messages -- but the law of averages sorta dictates that there really is no way to be ahead of the curve all the time.

Which is why the team here does it's best to try to point out the kinds of things that we feel are worth a look, even if they are sometimes a little off the beaten path.

  • Like that time the Empire invaded San Francisco and no one cared.
  • Or those other Olympic games you might not have heard about.
  • Talented singer/songwriters that somehow slip under the radar
  • Books that offer a new perspective on real world issues
  • A comic shop employee who keeps his customers sane
  • The newest in pimpmobile styles from Germany
  • Cool tricks to play on your politicized friends (although I guess now it won't work quite so well).
  • Funny stories about the foods we used to enjoy as kids
  • Or a better class of cute pony criminal

  • At the same time, no matter how many new and interesting things appear on the horizon -- there's always gonna be those things that never fail to entertain
    ..No matter how silly they might seem.
    Its almost like a curse or something, but I pretty much always laugh at this. I mean, it's not even really funny -- but I guess there's just something Pavlovian inside of me that can't resist a singing parrot.

    The strangeness really kicks in at about :39
    Their owners ..not so much.

    My Little Joker

    More than just the Joker, you can find versions of all sorts of characters from movies and comics done up in "My Little Pony" style. Kinda cool.


    Pixifoods Part I

    "Pixifood (PIKZ-ee-food), noun: Any food substance that is highly pleasant to the taste as a child and tastes shockingly unpleasant once you become an adult."

    What follows this definition is a hilarious discussion of several of these items that is definitely worth your time. The article has apparently been around a while (I only just discovered it today), but if you've got a little time to kill (or I don't know.. a tropical storm bearing down on you) -- give this a look.
    Here's a few choice experts:
    Pink Snowballs
    As a child tastes like: Coconut cream filled pink cakes.
    As an adult tastes like: Triple bypass surgery.

    Kentucky Fried Chicken
    As a child it tastes like: Picnics in the park.
    As an adult it tastes like: Salt.
    There are more detailed explanations, but I don't want to spoil it.

    Even better are the comments that follow, where adults who have clearly outgrown their sense of humor proceed to defend the foods in the article.

    Obama's VP Choice is..

    Are you a Democrat with friends who are "a little too into" this election for their own good? Are you a Republican looking to have a little fun with the people you're always arguing with at the bar?

    This might just do the trick -- instructions on how to utilize Verizon's website to send your friends a fake text from Obama announcing any name you want to insert as his new running mate.
    Hillary Clinton? Paris Hilton? Michael Phelps? Aretha Franklin?
    It's all up to you, compliments of the rabble-rousers over at Wonkette.

    Considering my own affiliations, I probably shouldn't find this as funny as I do -- but c'mon. How much fun would it be right now to see if you could get that one guy in the office all riled up over the idea that Brett Farve might have a chance to have his finger on the button?

    The Volkswagen T6

    The T6 is the latest concept car from Volkswagen. It features a futuristic design, two separate sections; one in the front for the driver, and another that is essentially an "office on wheels."

    I'm not gonna lie -- this thing looks super cool, like something out of an episode of Buck Rodgers; but at the same time I can't help but wonder what sort of businessman really needs this particular sort of convenience.
    And the only thing I can come up with is this:


    Kyle Piccolo - Comic Shop Therapist

    "Listen buddy, no one's trying to rain on your parade of raining on parades."

    Kyle Piccolo dispenses knowledge, empathy, and comics to customers who find their way into his shop. You've got to sit through a Dark Knight commercial to get to the episodes, but it's worth a peek -- especially if your local comic book guy isn't really being that helpful with your personal problems.

    As an added bonus, it's filmed at Midtown Comics NYC, which means there's always a chance our boy Satorical might show up in the background at some point.

    Perspective, Hope

    I'm just getting around to readying Who Hates Whom by Bob Harris. I wish I hadn't waited so long. It's a quick read about conflicts around the world, and Mr. Harris (who also wrote a book about his stint on Jeopardy! called Prisoner of Trebekistan) has a great sense of humor that keeps you from falling into despair. Here's a description of the map he draws of the Middle East:

    What Israel's Opponents See:

    Shaded areas represent Israeli-occupations or recent airstrikes (everything besides Israel is shaded).

    What Israel's Supporters See:

    Israel: "Teeny Island of Democracy"
    All Other Countries: "Countries Not Exactly Psyched About Israel"
    Water: "Open Water - Probably Will Not Attack Israel, But Who Knows?"

    A Thousand Points of Recommendation

    See that "Imperial Fleet Week" post down the page? That was our 1,000th post. We're getting ready to pour it on, too: we've added a new contributor (Werdna), are about to relaunch the site, and have generally looked at ways to avoid becoming like every other "This is cool!" blog on the Web. Thanks for reading, and keep spreading the word.


    Pink Moon

    I'm ashamed to say that it took a car commercial to open my eyes to this guy's work -- but considering how truly great it is, let's just say I owe Volkswagen one.


    The Guinea Pig Olympics

    Imperial Fleet Week

    Total props are due for technical achievement (some of these shots are amazing) -- but next time it might be helpful to pay a couple of people to, you know -- run away in fear or at least act like something is there instead of playing Frisbee on the beach while the invasion is on.


    NSFW Sunday: Waste your OWN time

    Once upon a time, there was a bored, apathetic, disengaged cube jockey named Monster. The place in which he worked (which is to say, performed the same rote task involving translating actual paper checks into happy little 1's and 0's) was, simply, no fun at all. Not like "this place is so terrible it's funny and everybody knows it" no fun, but like "nobody here cares at all and the cycle of misery is sucking my will to live" no fun. The work was easy and the just over $10 per hour that he was making was better than he could find in more interesting places, so Monster did his best to tolerate the soul-sucking monotony that was his work day.

    One day, Monster got a call at work from an old friend, the Internet. How the Internet even got Monster's work number was a mystery, but here was the old chum, chipper as always, ready to entertain. The Company didn't like the Internet, but despite The Company's best efforts to keep The Internet from bothering the cube farmers, the Internet would find its way in.

    The Internet introduced Monster to Crazy Monkey Games, and magically, Monster's work day was fulfilling again. Monster knew that navigating stick figure action heroes, popping balloons with a dart-wielding chimp, and racing cartoon rabbits in dune buggies made for a strange bedfellows when it came to trying to feel like you hadn't wasted 8 hours of your life, but these were desperate times.

    Eventually, things got better for Monster. He learned how to cope with the mindless drivel at work and still be a decent guy when he left the office. He worked hard enough to get somewhere and eventually got a job that keeps him busy and that he enjoys.

    But he never forgot that wild, crazy affair with the Crazy Monkey and it's flash-enabled goodies. Truth be told, if it had been all stick figures, balloon chimps, and bunny rabbits - he might have been able to walk away forever. But the Crazy Monkey also had all sorts of games where one kills Zombies... and Monster has never been able to totally shake the habit.


    The Friday Smile: Thesauruses are Awesome Edition

    Here at HRTotM, you could pretty much sum up our charter: Deliver that which is awesome to people who appreciate that kind of thing (read: things that are awesome).

    This week, though, the aforementioned things have been particularly outstanding, inspiring us to reflect a moment on rip-roaringness in general.

    The exceptional can manifest in many ways... one can find a simple dance outstanding, but also appreciate the brilliance inherent in the complex science of nutrition.

    Contemplating the tarnished majesty of icons from an earlier era can lend us perspective on the here-and-now, even if those icons were from long, long ago.

    The grand can be tangible, like a well-designed kitchen gadget.
    The magnificent can be abstract, like a social theory.
    Often, that which is kick-ass is timeless, like funk, rock n' roll, and giant boobies.

    But the final word on that which is glorious belongs to a man whose work may deserve special designation wherever awesomeness is measured.

    Ladies and Gentlemen:
    Airwolf, by Ernie Cline.

    Awesomeness We Can Believe In

    If you're going to be anywhere near NYC on Sept. 10, click the link above right now and reserve a ticket for Rock For Barack. Living Colour and Earl Greyhound will be among the performers. With fee, it's $29.

    The Periodic Table of Awesomements

    Quick chemistry quiz -- I'll give the abbreviation, and you tell me the name of the element.

    It might be tough to answer if you don't have a copy of the Periodic Table of Awesoments handy, which lists and categorizes the various naturally occurring awesoments around the world.

    I'm not sure I agree with everything on this table, but I wasn't really ever really all that happy with the Periodic Table of the Elements when I was in school, either.

    Answers: Bn - Bacon, Mo - Monster Truck, Wn - Christopher Walken, Lq - Liquor, Mk - Mohawk, So - Guitar Solo


    Points of Reference

    Exactly how healthy is that soda, anyway? It's not like it has no nutritional value, after all. That's where the Overall Nutritional Quality Index comes in. Set for introduction in the US next year, the ONQI rates foods from 1 to 100 based on their overall effect on health. Let's put it this way: Broccoli is a 100, and soda is a 1. The index is basically the Total Perspective Vortex for food.

    For those who are math-impaired, this does not mean you should drink 100 sodas to derive the benefit of eating broccoli.

    Keeping it Short

    I guarantee this will be better than that Clone Wars cartoon.

    Wonderbra Advertising

    Pretty much all I needed to know.


    Pearls Before Swine

    Yeah, deal with all that, y'all. And pay respect to the hometown while you're at it!

    The Boombox Project

    A photo study of a past gone by that will surely never return -- the boombox.

    I remember the years when my parents thought these were the worst things in the world and I had to beg, beg, beg them to get me one for Christmas. They'd last a month or so, start eating your cassettes, and then die altogether.

    Or worse, they'd work perfectly but you'd make that "antennae mistake" where you tried to push the antennae back but accidentally bent it somewhere in the middle, and then in the effort to fix it you end up breaking the whole thing in half?
    Yeah, they sucked. But I still kinda miss 'em.

    Getting Lots of Work Done

    Ever have one of those days where you're pushing up against a deadline, getting all your ducks in a row, busting your hump to get all the documentation together -- and then have to put the finishing touches on your presentation only to have to deal with the guys in the other department who are recreating scenes from Star Wars in the halls?

    It's not that this video isn't fun in it's own way -- but the best part by far is the wide shots where you see the other people at their desks doing their best to ignore the nerds.


    That's Not a Knife

    It's an easy concept to explain, but you sorta need to see it.

    It's also entirely possible that after seeing it you'll wish that you hadn't -- but that doesn't mean you won't still be laughing.

    America, F#$k Yeah!

    With the Olympics getting into full swing with the world's best and brightest on stage competing to see who's the best, it's high time to celebrate just how amazing the people in this country are. The intelligence, the social awareness, the guts to use the latest technology to speak out against injustice, and to call people to action.
    It's not the kind of thing you can do just anywhere, you know.
    Take this woman, who's utilizing her video camera and YouTube account to warn us all about a real and inherent danger that she can't believe no one has talked about in the mainstream media yet.


    Paying Respects

    Isaac Hayes was always just this name to me growing up, thrown out in lists of others spooled by on soul compilations. His biggest hit came when I was 1 year old. When he started doing the voice of Chef on South Park, I started appreciating him for his humor (to me, his bit in "I'm Gonna Git You Sucka" was best as straight man in the scene with Chris Rock) . One of my favorite lines from South Park is still Chef saying "Aw, children, you can't just stick a drunk elephant and a drunk pig together and expect them to do the mattress mambo." That's before Chef unleashes the Hayes voice, getting everyone in the mood.

    I didn't really understand what the big deal with Isaac Hayes was until WattStax, which detailed a concert put on by his label in the wake of the Watts riots. The fact is, Isaac Hayes was as big a badass as they come. That voice was a force, and this song, with just a few words, still defines cool.

    NSFW Sunday: Bernie Mac

    When I first saw Bernie Mac, it was on a particularly uninspiring episode of Def Comedy Jam -- or at least it was until he showed up.

    He had an energy that at the time seemed as if it couldn't be stopped. He was raw, real, and most of all -- hilarious. But for years Bernie seemed to struggle, because like so many stand up comedians out there, he never could seem to find a way to bottle up who he was enough to survive on TV the way that contemporaries like Cedric the Entertainer or Steve Harvey could.
    So he kept touring.
    In a lot of ways, Bernie became the guy that everyone talked about but you didn't see much of -- a reputation reminiscent of the comedian that he always reminded me of the most -- the great Redd Foxx. Then, (much like Foxx) when he finally did find his vehicle to the mainstream, it featured a quieted-down, utterly different version of himself.

    Those of us who got a chance to experience him live or see recordings of his stand-up performances always wished there was a way to translate that essence to the rest of the world, because it was hard not to like the guy. Hard not to think that who he was on stage was exactly what he might be like in real life, which is a hard thing to do -- especially when the strength of your act comes simply from telling jokes.

    Bernie didn't do bits. He didn't have impressions. Bernie told jokes. Like Robin Harris before him, the key was in the delivery. Bernie Mac was the guy at the bar who'd tell a joke you'd already heard before -- go on for for like 10 minutes with it, and still have you rolling when the punchline came across.
    He will be missed.


    Laziness, charity, and recycling, all in one

    This one is so easy. If you're stumped about what to do with your old cellphone(s), click on this logo and fill out the form. The Good Deed Foundation will mail you a postage-paid envelope. Stick your phone(s) in and mail it off. The phones are recycled around the world. Piece of cake.

    There are variations on this program that send phones to soldiers, local food banks, and other charities. ReCellular is a good overview of different causes you can support with your old phone.

    If you must be a selfish bastard, there are also companies which will pay you for your phone. You know, if you can't figure out eBay.


    The Friday Smile: Remember Me? Edition

    Remember me? That Friday guy? We used to go to school together. We shared a bunch of classes, but didn't talk much because I was sleeping on the desk in a puddle of drool, and you were always scribbling down some note to your boyfriend that you then folded into an origami-like puzzle for him to open and read later.

    But here we are -- together at this class reunion, and
    ..Wow you look good.
    Me? Well, you know how it goes. You think you're gonna be the king of the world, but then after a few years of bumbling around and partying too much, things get off track.

    Still, I have done a few things this week worth noting.
  • For example, I was talking to my friend Joel Shumacher (you know, the director) the other day at lunch, and we were catching up about how much fun we had on the set of The Lost Boys.
  • But then I had to cut it short and jet out to Chi-town to help draw up some new plays for the Chicago Bears Offensive Unit.
  • I would have stayed longer, but then the FBI called and needed some advice on their latest investigation, and you know how that goes -- those boys would lose their heads if they weren't glued on.
  • It's funny, I remember this one time when we found the remains of a tyrannosaurus -- I probably shouldn't be talking about it in public, but it's a pretty funny story.
  • But you know, other than that life's pretty normal. I spend time consulting for a shoe designer.
  • It's ok money I guess, certainly better than when I was working the late shift over at Ruby Tuesdays.
  • I mean, everyone looks at me and probably thinks I'm some sort of comic book nerd or something, but there's actually a lot more to me than that.
  • I've got a Facebook page,
  • I spend time supporting my favorite candidate,
  • I spend time with my friends,
  • I'm into classic rock, indie bands, and even a little death metal (at least I think it's death metal).
  • So sexy lady, ..how about you?

    Browser Carnies

    Here's a cool one -- a widget that attempts to guess your gender based off your web-browsing history. Kind of a "what do your sites say about you" type of thing. I'm at work, so the results are probably different than they'd be at home (where I tend to do a lot more ..research) -- but I still came out 70% on the dude end of the spectrum according to this.

    It's a fun little time waster that also gives you a nice little reminder that no matter how much you think you're sneaking around and fooling people -- anyone with a little bit of savvy can figure out where you've been on the web within seconds.

    One note: the scanning process locked up my IE for a moment, but the site warned me that it was a possibility before I started. FireFox apparently doesn't have any problems with it.

    British TV Comedies

    I love a British sitcom called the IT Crowd, mainly because I work in IT and it is funny- partly because of that and partly because it has brilliant writing and casting. So the lads I work with got into it and found some other stuff one of the actors had done. And they are strange fellows, and like a bit of the surreal. And because I like the surreal too, now I have to recommend a show called The Mighty Boosh.




    Also for more surreal stuff, Noel Fielding, check out his standup.


    Feeling the Taint

    This is not, in fact, NSFW. Witch Taint is the fake brainchild of comedian Dave Hill. Dave works blue, but this is basically just the best trolling ever. Using an alias, he calls out a death metal band for being weak, and says he might let them open for him. Over many e-mails, they just do not catch on.

    Listening to Champaign

    Headlights is from Champaign, Illinois. The band is hypercompetent without being showy, and the members just couldn't be nicer. They drove all the way to Brooklyn for one show last night, and invited two five year-old girls from the crowd to dance onstage during their last two songs (it was a free public show partly hosted by the parks service). Plus, their bassist (not pictured) just looks so damn happy. Pure joy.


    I once had some song stuck in my head, and went to a coworker for help. As we all know, the only way to get a song out of your head is to replace it with another. It also helps to just unleash it on someone else. So having told her mine, she said "are you sure you want to do this? I don't fight fair."

    So then I had the Slinky song stuck in my head for three days.

    Lately, after trying to learn more about Love is Like Oxygen, which I thought for years was by ELO, I stumbled across this gem. Not only is it an earworm, but the 1972 pop freak scene is car-crash compelling.

    So what's your worst earworm?

    Calvin and Jobs

    The latest issue of MAD magazine features an interesting new comic strip called "Calvin and Jobs" which features one of our all-time favorite Sunday comics kids and his new playmate -- Apple CEO Steve Jobs. The results are pretty funny, hearken back to a better time for the boys at MAD, and should be seen as quickly as possible just in case Bill Watterson doesn't know about it.

    Click for a better view.


    Gotta Watch Your Ride, John

    So the McCain campaign tour bus (known as the "Straight Talk Express") recently stopped for the night in a hotel parking lot in Boca Raton, Florida -- where apparently some shenanigans took place.

    Hamlet (Facebook News Feed Edition)

    Highlights include:
    The king poked the queen.
    Hamlet and the queen are no longer friends.
    Hamlet became a fan of daggers.
    Polonius is no longer online.
    Ophelia joined the group Maidens Who Don't Float.


    Fish in a Barrel II: The Joker Has a Backpack

    One of my many conspiracy theories about Hollywood is that Robert Smiegel can get away with anything.

    Watch here as his famous alter-ego Triumph the Insult Comic Dog blows up a Ruby Tuesdays wanders into Comic Con and takes on the nerds

    Goodbye, Ruby Tuesday

    I only just found out about this, so I apologize if you miss it -- but at 3pm EST they're going to blow up the last of the "old" Ruby Tuesday restaurants.
    Live, on their website.
    I guess the whole thing is part of a promotion where they sorta re-launch their image or whatever, but it's kinda strange to see a company taking out one of their own -- literally.

    I'm actually watching this live (because you know, I'm very busy at work and have lots of important things to do), but I imagine the video will be posted on the site afterwards as well (or more likely, broadcast on television between innings of Yankee games). But literally -- the "VP of marketing" is standing in front of the place and counting down.
    I don't know about you, but I smell viral marketing all over this.
    Still -- it's an explosion, and you don't get a those at chain restaurants these days (unless you order the queso dip).

    Goonies Pumas

    The whole designer sneaker thing is a fad that more or less missed me (I prefer to buy one pair of shoes and then wear them until I need to buy another) -- but it's rapidly becoming a real outlet for all kinds of designers to express themselves. From original graffiti art to graphic design homages to pop culture -- shoes have become just as important as other wardrobe pieces when it comes to staying ahead of the curve in urban fashion.

    Take these Pumas featuring an homage to The Goonies.
    If I had worn something like this when I was in middle school I would have immediately been labeled as uncool -- yet here were are 20 or so years later and now they're being toted as a must-have item.

    Strange how that works.

    Anyways, if you really want to see what's hot in designer sneakers, I suggest checking out sites like Doobybrain.com, which has all sorts of cool stuff on it -- but also keeps tabs on the latest and greatest in designer sneaker styles.


    9 Reasons Not to Date a Tyrannosaurus Rex

    Loneliness sucks, but here are nine very good reasons why you shouldn't call that T-Rex you met at the club and take him up on his offer to go to dinner.

    You can do so much bettah, honey.

    FBI Seizes Massive Anthrax Stockpile

    And while I'm at it, lets not forget The Onion proper -- who still regularly come through with things like this.

    Bears Unveil New-Looks-Like-Shit Offense

    Football season is right around the corner, and the Bears (and the continually awesome Onion Sports page) are on the ball.

    ..Or dropping the ball, as the case may be.


    The Lost Boys: Where Are They Now?

    It's not too hard to find the Two Corey's these days, what with their reality series and all -- but whatever happened to all the other people who helped make The Lost Boys one of our favorite movies of the 80's?

    Most everyone shown in this slideshow has done pretty well for themselves and there aren't really any bad/embarrassing photos in the bunch, but when you get to 'history's greatest villain' Joel Shumacher at the end -- the transformation from auteur to Hollywood crapslinger has rarely been better illustrated.


    Unexpectedly Funny Things to Do with Hamsters When You're Bored

    It's the title that launched a thousand cringe-worthy jokes, but surprisingly enough none of these items have anything to do with things that have been rumored to once have happened to Richard Gere.

    That being said, it's a pretty inventive list -- and it's hard to deny the hamster factor for cuteness and entertainment. And from the looks of it, he's a pretty good chess player, too.


    Cloverfield on the Quick

    Haven't seen Cloverfield? Want to know what all the hype was about back when everybody was talking about it? Good news for you -- the S Peter Davis website has condensed the movie into a quick, easy-to-read webpage that covers all of the films important points.

    Attack of the Killer Broccoli

    I sorta ..hate eating vegetables. I know they're good for me and all, but the majority of them taste awful. There are some things I've gotten used to, some things I've learned to sorta like -- but no matter how healthy some of them could make me, there are simply some varieties that need to die, and die horribly.

    Luckily, someone else feels the same way as I do -- and has come up with this brilliant little game wherein your mission is simple.
    Kill Broccoli.
    Kill it all, and let God sort it out.
    Use your asparagus spaceship (what else are you gonna use asparagus for?) to navigate around and mercilessly kill the side dish of pain with extreme prejudice. There are some other goals (collect vitamins, something or other) involved, but I was far too busy feeding my broccoli bloodlust to care.

    Click the link, join me in my quest, and maybe someday our long national nightmare can end.

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