Big Lebowski Action Figures

While I'm not exactly sure how the manufacturer is justifying the creation of an action figure for a lazy man -- quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County.(which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide) -- but sometimes there's a man. . . sometimes there's a man.

Heh. Lost m’train of throught here.
Aw hell, I done
innerduced him enough:

Wu-Tang Motherload

Who knows how long something like this will be kept available, but word's getting around that over 200 songs have been made available to download for free on the Wu-Tang Clan's official website. Album tracks, demos, rarities -- it's a treasure trove over there.
Get 'em while they're hot!


Muppet/Jedi/Robot/Lion/Lego/Crab Fiction

Among the many, many great things to be found over at 10 Zen Monkeys is this collection of the top 10 Pulp Fiction parodies currently making the rounds at YouTube. You'll find all the Samuel L. Jackson monologues you can handle and then some interpreted by some very unlikely sources.

A word of caution -- if you're not prepared to hear Dick Dale's "Miserlou" over and over and over again you might want to approach this sampler in bite-sized chunks of one or two at a time. But if you can get past that hurdle there's plenty of NSFW-language laced fun to be found
Here's my favorite so far:


Trust Your Salesman

While eBay can be a great place find and buy things you want and need, it's open-door policy towards sellers is can be a tempting invitation for scam artists and grifters. Which is why it's always a good idea to check out the user comments section of each seller's profile to see exactly who you're dealing with, how reliable they are, and if their customers were satisfied with the deals they made.

Which seems to be the case when it comes to user tryork5ifp, who seems to have created quite a buzz for himself.
Just check his comments and see!


Here it is, Your Friday Smile

It's been a sucky week. Memories of old friends, annoying coworkers, and of course - beastiality.
..but guess what?
You made it
-- The weekend's here.
Go out and have some fun, whydontcha?
But before you go there's
just one more picture to click:

15 Things Kurt Vonnegut Said Better Than Anyone Else Ever Has Or Will

Kurt Vonnegut definitley doesn't suck. But as said many times before, his passing absolutley does.
Here's a little sampling of why.

Your Screenplay Sucks

If I lived in LA, I would wear this all the time.

Your Toupee Sucks

They all do, but not since Michael Berryman in the Motley Crue video for "Smokin' in the Boys' Room" has there been one so very, very bad.

There will come a day when I just shave my head. No shame, just hair-b-gone, 'cause every alternative is ridiculous, as in "worthy of ridicule."

Same thing for combovers, except for maybe this guy, who has his own thing going on.

Oh, and BadToupee.com is inexplicably available. Get going, you dotcom entrepreneurial types.


Your Band Sucks

If you're a band trying to make a name for yourself then you absolutley need a promotional photo -- but once they have been taken, you also need to know that they are forever -- even if you aren't.

Your Scene Sucks

While it's a fun site on it's own merits, I'm honestly just wanting to see how many of these titles we can get rolling in a row (suggestions welcome!)


Your Movie Sucks

Bad movies are Part of the Problem. Ebert is Part of the Solution.

If you liked Hex's Zero Stars, here's more for you to chew on.


Pigs Anonymous

Sometimes even when you see a joke coming from a million miles away, know exactly how it's gonna play out and how it's going to end -- it's still totally worth it.
If not, then perhaps you need to join a support group.. toots.


The Llama Song

Sure, it seems stupid the first time you hear it -- but wait until the next time you're stuck in a crowded elevator ride that seems to be taking just a little too long...


The Literature Map

While the interface looks suspiciously familiar, I kinda dig the thought behind this thing:

Type in the name an author, hit enter, and watch as an ever-growing matrix of similar authors opens up in front of you. On the one hand it gives you the opportunity to see how your idea of what authors are related stacks up against those who have contributed to the site, but at the same time there's always the chance that one of the names that pops up is one you haven't yet had the chance to explore.

Kinda like a Pandora for books, when you think about it.


Bow Wow Wow Yippie Yo Yippie Yay

Honestly the idea of a mail-orderable sex doll for dogs is way overdue, because there's really nothing more embarrassing for a poodle than to be seen walking out of the local porn shop wearing one of those little trenchcoats and trying to hide his face behind a hat.
And while the site that actually sells these things is technically safe for viewing at work -- I'd still love to hear some of the explanations people will be giving to their bosses when they get caught staring at pics of fido here getting his groove on.


Blood Puddle Pillows

People who have known me a long time are very aware of my unfortunate habit of falling asleep at work. And while I'm sure the best solution to this problem would be not falling asleep at work, sometimes that's just not an option.

What I really need is a way to fall asleep at work where the other people at my office won't feel compelled to bug me, wake me up, or fire me. What I need is a way to sleep that looks like more than just sleeping -- and I think I've finally found it:
Blood Puddle Pillows
Perhaps a bit extreme, especially when you first see the collection of photos on fromkeetra.com, but from where I'm sitting -- that's a guaranteed period of undisturbed shuteye until that glorius moment arrives when you get to scare the living crap out of some paramedic.


Lately I've become totally addicted to LastFM, and listen to it while I work. I used to be addicted to Pandora, which I listened to all the time at home, but doesn't always perform well at my office. So what could be better?

How about the "Hey you got chocolate in my peanut butter -- No, you got peanut butter in my chocolate" combination that is PandoraFM. This internet radio service lets you automatically update your pandora profile while you listen to LastFM (which is made up of songs tagged by multiple users).


The Will Ferrell Movie Generator

A Bewitched Old School Talladega Night at the Roxbury with Elf Anchorman Ricky Bobby's Stranger Than Fiction Blades of Glory.


Knitta, Please

Remember that old Monty Python sketch about a roving gang of geratrics known as "Hell's Grannies? That's the first thing that came to mind when I came across this group of gangsta ..knitters.

Featuring fouding members AKrylik and PolyCotN, as well as supporting members like P-Knitty and The Notorious N.I.T. -- Knitta was born in 2005, when (as they put it)
members were discussing their frustration over unfinished knitting projects: half-knitted sweaters and balls of yarn gathering dust. That afternoon, they knit their first doorknob cozy. Then it dawned on them… A tag crew of knitters, bombing the inner city with vibrant, stitched works of art, wrapped around everything from beer bottles on easy nights to public monuments and utility poles on more ambitious outings. With a mix of clandestine moves and gangsta rap — Knitta was born! Today, Knitta is a group of more than 10 ladies of all ages, races, nationalities, religions, sexual orientation… and gender.
So next time you're at JoAnn's fabrics make sure to watch your back -- because when knit goes down this crew don't play, knamsayin'?


Honoring the Worthy

By now you probably know that Kurt Vonnegut has died. Sometimes when someone dies we say "a little light has gone out in the world." Mr. Vonnegut was a great shining beacon. To me, he represented hope, and the type of person who makes the world better by the way he lives. The very definition of humanism.

I can't say much that won't be said for the next week or so, and it's not like this was unexpected--I remember reading his stuff in college, and he was marvelling that he hadn't died already then--but he was my favorite author, and never failed to make me laugh and think at the same time. I think I've read Breakfast of Champions four times.

What a great human being.

Bring Your Own Big Wheel

This ranks right next to the battle royale snowball fight satorical invited me to last winter on the list of things I really wish I knew about ahead of time enough to be a part of it.

What you're looking at is footage from a recent big wheel race down Lombard Street in San Francisco.
How much fun must this have been?
Warning -- as much as I love listening to old school Metallica, the music on this site is simply too loud. Do your self a favor and turn down your speakers before checking it out. You can also scroll about halfway down the page and pause the music player if you like.


PC Punk

So you're hanging out at the local coffee shop and you see a flyer posted on the wall saying "guitarist and singer wanted for local punk band." written in sharpie marker on a piece of half crumpled copy paper. You've got nothing better to do so you dial up the number and set up a time to go out and jam.

Then when you get there you find out the bass player couldn't make it and that the drummer is actually a dog. So, what's your next move?
What else -- plug in and jam!!!



Even if they aren't very good when it comes to mounting guerilla marketing campaigns in Boston, one thing the Cartoon Network has really set the bar on is keeping their video content from being shown online without their consent or control. Regardless of what side of this fence you sit on idelologically, it's hard to deny that the strategy this network is using is paying off for them.

Instead of suing little kids who download their stuff, the execs at CN have taken a page from the books of musical acts who are trying to fight file sharing and have literally flooded sites like YouTube with snippets of their own shows. From a practical standpoint it makes sense, because it becomes harder for non-consented content to be found and shared.

But the problem (leading back to one of the primary complaints in favor of more open file sharing in all arenas) is that you end up only getting to see what the Network makes available for you to look at. Which is a shame because like so many other media outlets, Cartoon Network's fledgling days were a treasure trove of unique ideas, outside the box thinking, and plain old fun.

For example, to help drum up interest for shows animated in the 60's that might not have immediatley appealed to more modern audiences, CN created a series of commercials called "Groovies" that were basically music videos based on the quirks of many of their more popular characters. To add to the appeal, the music spanned a wide variety of genres and was composed and performed by then-envelope pushing artists.

It might make for a long post, but you never know when things like this are gonna get pulled for usage violations.
So while they last -- here are some of the best:

Night of the Lepus

Just in time for Easter -- clips from one of my all-time favorite cult films have started showing up on the YouTube. Formed in the same fires that brought us such gems as Empire of the Ants and Food of the Gods, Night of the Lepus once again tries to warn us about the dangers of living in the Nuclear Age and what happens when you try to mess with mother nature.

Just in case you're didn't get where all that was headed -- giant rabbits attack and eat the unsuspecting citizens of a sleepy town. You think the Easter Bunny Hated You?
You ain't seen nothing yet, pal



I'm not sure I get the whole Pheonix/Phoenix thing, but otherwise digable.


My Humps

While this clip utterly confirms my longstanding belief that Alanis would be a blast to hang out with, I really never thought that I could hate this song any more than I already did
Boy was I wrong.


White Chicks & Gang Signs

Pocket Bible For Our Times

Ipod saves Soldier's Life
Originally uploaded by tikigod.
There have been plenty of
stories about pocket-sized bibles issued to soldiers stopping bullets. This here's the real thing.

There had to have been some James Brown or some other bulletproof funk on there.


The Superficial Friends

Expertiseness. Baby nunchucks. Funbag range. I know'd it!

NSFW - language and stuff, ya'll!

The PG Version of 300

"This is delicious!"

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