Carbonated Warfare

We're not set up to be The Daily Show here, so you're going to have to read the article yourself to get the full effect (Click the link above as usual; free registration required).

The deal is that the Bush administration might finally be doing something about genocide in Darfur. In response, the ambassador from Sudan gave a weird press conference worthy of Baghdad Bob.

Among the gems:

"The United States is the only country saying that what is happening in Darfur is a genocide," Ukec shouted, gesticulating wildly and perspiring from his bald crown. "I think this is a pretext."

Ah. So what about the more than 400,000 dead? "See how many people are dying in Darfur: None," he said.

And the 2 million displaced? "I am not a statistician."

And then it got really strange. Apparently the Sudan exports 80% of the world's gum arabic, which is used as an emulsifier (I learned more about cola and pottery chemistry than I really wanted to know for this post. You're welcome). So the Ambassador intimated that it might shut off its supply to retaliate against sanctions:

A reporter asked if Sudan was threatening to "stop the export of gum arabic and bring down the Western world."

"I can stop that gum arabic and all of us will have lost this," Khartoum Karl warned anew, beckoning to the Coke bottle. "But I don't want to go that way."

As diplomatic threats go, that one gets high points for creativity: Try to stop the killings in Darfur, and we'll take away your Coca-Cola.

Additional gum arabic weirdness:

Used by bin Laden to finance terrorism?

Stoners use it for rolling paper

This woman uses it to paint bad historical art

Best Use of Holst Ever

Mars, from Holst's "The Planets," gets a lot of use since it's in the public domain.

But it's never been done quite like this. Wait for it...at 0:18 to go.

Think Your Star Wars Costume is Pretty Good?

Clearly you haven't caught this guy's act yet. (be warned -- LOUD video clip.)

Beer for Children

After a hard day at cram school, it's apparently time to head for the mountains.

I don't know what's odder -- the kid who looks ready to take on the whole bar, or the little girl who's well on her way to pledging Tri-Delt.

One thing's for sure though -- the "Wasssup" ads
for this will be nothing short of adorable.

sugartown

Sugartown is the well-tended music blog of Brooklyn DJ Colleen Crumbcake.

Now you know.

Work For It

In the world of reality television, 24 hour news coverage, and viral videos, there's a worthy dialog about how an entire generation of American children are growing up with the notion that they deserve fame.

I don't have anything really worthwhile to add to that discussion besides reiterating an old axiom that is apparently going forgotten:

Fame isn't something you're given, kids - you've gotta earn it.

Are You Ready for The Sex?

Ridiculously unsafe for work, yet completely hilarious -- which is why I'm posting it on a day when most of you shouldn't be there.

For those of you who know me in real life, this is where I originally heard one of my most underused yet poignant reference quotes, "There's something wrong with your vagina!"



On a side note, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out just how well-dressed the devil appears to be in this clip. But it shouldn't come as a surprise, after all he is a man of wealth and taste.

Now get out there and DANCE!!

The Sole Inhabitant

Hex and I both have a soft spot for Thomas Dolby, and having seen this original artist of the MTV era perform his one-man show live, I can tell you that he's far craftier than you might think from his one-hit-wonder reputation.

There are seven free video podcasts on this page, regardless. You cannot lose.

Asshole Lit

One of the nice things about living in Brooklyn is that there's a culture of reading here. I don't mean a snobby, exclusive culture; I mean people read here, so much so that there's a sidewalk trade in used books. So much so that people occasionally just leave a pile or box of books on the stoop when they move, because as my strong-backed college friends can tell you, books are a pain in the ass to hump.

Some street folk actually have a trade in third-hand texts, which they'll spread out on the sidewalk or on a sideways-turned cart.

Anyway, I was delighted to find a copy of A.L. Kennedy's Paradise on a stoop a couple of weeks ago (Free book! Yay!). Kennedy is a Scottish writer, and the Scots can do a couple of things remarkably well. Two of these are drink and write. Paradise is a portrait of someone who does both, and although it falls into the category of drunk lit, best exemplified by Frederick Exley's A Fan's Notes (see also Ironweed), both of those can also be qualified as asshole lit.

Ex and Kennedy's characters are assholes, and not the lovable kind. They are of the destructive kind, and you're stuck with them because they're the protagonists. David Gates has done this type of thing too. The skill here is not in making these character lovable, but in painting the portrait without flinching. Most of us want to be loved, and it takes some steel to create characters and art that repulses, without doing so just to shock. These aren't out-and-out gross-out contests, competing for the most public vomiting or horrible treatment of would-be friends. They also aren't assholes of the purposeful contrarian sort. They're pictures of what can happen when the rebellion goes too far; sure, making a beast of yourself gets rid of the pain of being human, but then you're a beast, too.

The Friday Smile - 3 Day Weekend Edition

Did this week go by fast or what? It seems like only a moment ago when Monday rolled around and everyone at work was freaking out about all their life or death projects.

But here it is, Friday afternoon.

But not just any Friday afternoon -- because this Friday marks the start of a heavenly 3-day weekend. 3 whole days without office politics, negativity, or tragic thumb-related mass bean-icides.

It's a time to relax -- a chance to catch up on a good book, to take a long drive to see relatives and loved ones, sing songs, play outside, or even go to a museum or gallery to see the latest modern or classic art.

But in all the excitement, lets not forget what this holiday is really about. Memorial Day (formerly Decoration Day) commemorates U.S. men and women who have died in military service to their country.. It also gives us pause to appreciate the level of bravery and sacrifice so many soldiers are providing right now across the world, whether we agree with the politics behind it or not.

So even though you might take these three days of freedom to enjoy yourselves and recharge before going back to work -- lets not forget to do our part to help out by buying up all the Tom Serafini war bonds we can on the open market!!

One more thing before I go (and I truly hope you all have a weekend that makes you as happy as this little guy)

The Friday Smile       

The Vader Project

There's a huge convention/celebration going on in L.A. right not to commemorate the 30th anniversary of Star Wars. It's like a fanboy convention complete with costumes, trivia, and nit-picky debate mixed with a museum-styled exhibition of props, artifacts, and souvenirs aplenty to buy.

It would be an interesting event to attend -- but one of the genuinely useful things about the web is that there are plenty of resources available for you to see what's going on even if you can't be there in person.

One of the cooler things I've read about recently is The Vader Project -- where a group of artists were given a Darth Vader helmet to adorn however they wanted. It's at the convention now, but there are plans to tour it around to select galleries and events around the world.

"So Just Stop It"

Happy Summer, everyone!

Recaptcha

This is an inspired effort to put otherwise wasted time to good use. Recaptcha, which we'll be adding to this site as soon as we get two free seconds (besides the ones we're using right now), trades the codes entered for comment, Ticketmaster, and other verification schemes for tiny snippets of text. Instead of the usual gobbledygook, the text you enter is part of the global effort to digitize all books. It's sort of a human-powered SETI project.

Musical Fruit

Warning: If you don't wear headphones, audio may be NSFW, unless you're okay with drawing a lot of attention to yourself.

It's Like Vanilla Sky All Over Again

So I know it's not totally healthy, but it pisses me off a little that Paul McCartney still writes great pop songs. Doesn't it seem like there are only so many to go around, and he's hogging them?

In any case, another great song and a fun video from Sir Paul:



PS - Anybody else weirded out by ghostly library pong? Just checking.

Are You Sure You Don't Need 10 More Years to Think it Over?

It's one thing for a new group to come out, really peak your interest and then slowly fade into crappiness as

1) Success spoils the batter
2) They continue to write the same song over and over, album after album
3) You see them live and discover the magic came from the studio, not these schlubs

But it's quite another when a group you really like for no apparent reason more or less disappears off the map altogether. It's almost like the group takes a look at their fans and says, "Man, you used to be cool"

Whatever the reason, word is starting to spread that after a teensy-weensy 10-year coffee break the members of Portishead remembered that they record music for a living, and are currently in the studio working on a new album. (There's nothing really specific I'm recommending here, I just want to have my annoyance at their absence recorded so that when the album comes out and I can't stop gushing about how great it is someone can rightfully rub it in my face).

Take 2: Awesome -- Portishead's BACK!

Hollywood Stock Exchange

So it works like this: you get a load of pretend money that you use to buy stocks and bonds, only the stocks and bonds are movies and the stars that make 'em. Every one HSX dollar represents the one million dollars that you're betting the film will make in its first four weeks at the box office. There are all sorts of neat extensions to the analogy, like weekend opening gross predictions, Oscar picks, stocks based on the next American Idol, and derivatives based on what crappy thing Brian De Palma will do next (just kidding, that was for Hex).

It's a great lunchtime diversion for me, kind of a movie geek's fantasy football. And seriously, who doesn't want to say "I dumped Julia Roberts in favor of Keira Knightley. I know she's a little more expensive, but it just seems worth it to me right now, you know?"

PS - If you happen to sign up, tell 'em ClicheMonster sent you. I totally get more pretend money that way!

Gary Busey is Your Co-Pilot

When I first heard about all of these GPS in-car navigation systems that use a computerized voice to help you find your way through traffic, the very first thought I had was if I could somehow hire vetran character actor (and former voice of Knight Rider car KITT) William Daniels to provide voices for this, I'd make a billion dollars.

Alas, like the fate of many my sure-fire get rich schemes I had two more drinks and forgot to write it down, or kept getting Daniels confused with the guy who played Higgins on Magnum P.I., and I never really followed through with it the way I should have.

Fast forward a few years later and it turns out someone else has beaten me to the punch, but in a way that might not pan out exactly the way they were hoping for.

Meet Navtones, a new service that offers downloadable celebrity voices that you can use instead of the computerized one the TomTom system comes with. Pretty cool idea -- except that the celebrities available to choose from are Burt Reynolds, Dennis Hopper, Mr. T (who pities the fool who doesn't take the next left) and ..Gary Busey.

I don't know about you -- but when you think back to some of the incidents over the years involving Mr. Busey and driving, I'm not so sure he would be my first option for assistance.

Of course, knowing Gary -- You might not have much choice in the matter.

Devorah Sperber

Ms. Sperber has taken a simple idea and executed it incredibly well. Her thread spool works are wall-sized "paintings" displayed upside-down. Viewed through a crystal sphere, they resemble famous works. A great flip-flopping of how we normally see, now on display at the Brooklyn Museum.

Passive-Aggressive Notes

LOL Presidents

Soon to jump-the-shark Internet fad Lolcats (which I fully admit to being a part of, pimping, and now getting tired of) stretches it's wings yet again.

And while this looks suspiciously like something I did a little while back -- it was bound to happen eventually, so I'm not mad atcha (much).

Enjoy!

Best Golden Harp Band Ever

The UK branch of ad firm Saatchi & Saatchi wants to convey that Doc Martens last forever.

I can't decide which disturbs me more - the notion that these guys were on the list at the pearly gates...

... or that no matter how hard you preach against it in life, you can still sell out from the grave.

Mondays

Are a lot like this:

Best Death Scene Ever

Let It Cosby

Yeah I know, but it made me laugh the first time. The key with ytmnd is not to let it linger too long - enjoy the giggle for what it is, then get back to the important things in life -- like emaciating Theo and shipping Denise off to college as quickly as possible.

The Friday Smile - Monster in the House Edition

Ever have one of those weeks where all you can say is, "Oh great, who brought the cat!?"

Well don't start thinking that all hope is lost, because there is another.

Cliche Monster joined the team this week, bringing all sorts of new energy and blank blue rectangular boxes that are supposed to contain flash games about bow-wielding cats with him.

Of course when you're new to a job these kinds of things are bound to happen. You can't just expect to walk through the door and know how to slay every dragon just like that. You've got to know who to call when problems arise. Because when you go to the right people for assistance and you phrase your questions correctly -- things go a lot better.

But even more than that, you need to have the right tools to get the job done -- lest history repeat itself and we end up with another disaster on our hands. Sure -- fun is fun, but what if something goes wrong? Who's gonna be there to protect grandma from getting pushed off a bridge, or worse yet -- dying?

Yeah, you didn't think about that now did you?

Oh sure, everyone thinks it's all drinking and singing songs here (and they're right), but make no mistake -- this is serious business.

You think that $0.065 a year from the Google Ad just makes itself?

No sir -- you've got to get out there and make sure the whole world knows you're looking out for them. Send a thank you card, maybe take them out for a movie once in a while.

Remember -- it's the little things that people appreciate the most.

Like the Friday Smile.     

Star Wars Toys That Never Made It

Talk Like A Pilot Day

Just in case any of you Tail End Charlies were too busy dodging Jerry's ack-ack in the Hunland to hear about it, Saturday May 19th is the first international installment of Talk Like a Pilot Day.


The official kickoff includes a daylong celebration at a hotel in England -- but there's no reason those us who can't wilco that sortie on such short notice can't join in the fun too, eh what?

Just in case you're new to the whole thing, the organizers have also offered a handy-dandy phrase book and phonetic alphabet to help get you started Alpha Sierra Alpha Papa.

Chocks Away!

The Shrek 3 Drinking Game

I'm probably going to be taking my little boy to see the latest installment in the Shrek series this weekend. The commercials and toy tie-in's have been everywhere for a few weeks now, so he's very excited about it. If all goes well he'll love the move.

As for me, I'm hoping he really enjoys the movie -- because to be perfectly honest, I'm kinda Shrek-ed out. The first one was a classic, but it seems there's always a point lately with all these summer sequels (especially for kid movies) where you kinda just wish you could save the time and just mail a check for the admission price to Dreamworks directly, you know?

Fortunatley, someone else out there has been thinking ahead, and has come up with something I can really get behind -- The Shrek Drinking Game.

Rules include:

Taking a sip when Mike Myers' Scottish accent wavers

Taking one drink if there's a song by a middling, whitebread, Top 40 crooner (like John Mayer or James Blunt)

Taking two drinks if there's a duet by middling, whitebread, Top 40 crooners (John Mayer and James Blunt!)

Taking a shot if a reference is made to donkey/dragon sex

I don't know about you -- but I think this is one game I can easily win.

Movie Quote Countdown

Great editing job, here.



Noticeably missing: "I want my two dollars!"

Wattstax

1973 documentary of a memorial concert for the Watts riots, intercut with Richard Pryor monologues and man-on-the-street interviews. Jesse Jackson gives a call-and-response invocation at the opening. If you ever wondered how Rev. Jackson came to prominence, this will give you part of the answer. The rest is here.

Mel Stuart directed and David L. Wolper produced. That's right, the guys behind the original Willy Wonka movie. Stuart also directed the insane Running on the Sun, giving him one of the weirdest CVs in film.

Somehow I missed Wattstax when it was rereleased in 2003. It's got a spiffy new 5.1 mix, and if you like soul at all, you're gonna love it.

If You See This At Work, Tell Your Boss I'm Sorry

You're a cat. You excel at archery. Physics are suspect.

Other than that, it's pretty much like golf.

Tip: You don't have to land to shoot again. See you in an hour!

Update: Play here. Decipher the Japanese blog for extra fun and excitement!

Falwell That Ends Well

You know, just because I really, really, really hated a guy doesn't mean that it's cool to bash him just because he finally died. Which is why I'm directing you to this page, which (while they're not the only ones taking shots) scores major points in my book by offering a softer, gentler headline announcing the news of Jerry Falwell's passing -- only to follow it up with a choice sampling of headlines they also could have used, including:

* How The Mighty Have Falwellen
* Falwell Gets Shocker at Pearly Gates: 9/11 Was His Fault
* Falwell Horrified to Discover that Light at End of Tunnel is Gay Disco Party

The Ewok Song

Oh great, so you're telling me Stormtroopers lost to these guys too?

Worldwide Slideshow

Somebody somewhere is posting a picture to their flickr account...

... and I just saw it.

If you get really caught up like I did, don't worry - somebody whipped up a screen saver, in case you stare too long without touching the mouse.

The Wii Combat Pack

As if playing Zelda wasn't nerdy enough - now there's this:

Absolutely Priceless

It's been making the rounds lately, but if you haven't heard this then stop whatever you're doing immediately and prepare yourself:



Could there possibly be a more perfect commentary on this than the woman off-camera who's laughing so hard she snorts?

Way to go, Johnny Law.

(clips via Neatorama)

I've Been Wanting Him to Do This For Years

Best comment in the talkback so far:

"I'll push him if he needs some help."

The Water Mortar

Summer's almost here - which means now is the ideal time to stock up on combat-ready armaments.

..What, that's not what you do?

Someecards.com

When you care enough to hit send.

(Mad love to the Monster for the link)

Lolgays

Despite outward appearances, the intarweb is a fragile ecosystem. All it takes is for one thing to go wrong, and the domino effect kicks right in.

Case in point -- Critically important to the world's everyday existence website icanhascheezburger.com goes down for a few days to implement a server change and all hell breaks loose -- Say hello to Lolgays (not to be confused with lolgeeks or la la la la).

No word yet on how soon Al Gore will finish the
documentary about this, but rest assured -- he's working on it.

Breakfast in America

Man, where's Wesley when you need him?

The Other Son

Wesley makes the ultimate sacrifice.. for you.

The Friday Smile - Death by Chocolate Edition

Another week in the books -- finally some time for yourself, eh?

So get out there! Lace up your shoes, put on some good music and go enjoy the sunshine. You've got a full weekend where you don't have to worry about any of the hassles that hold you down you during the week. No numbers to crunch, no worries about losing your house, or being operated on by some quack.

It's time to buy the things you want, time to eat fast food and candy until your teeth turn black and fall out. And if anyone tries to give you crap about it, just flash 'em your grill and tell them to step off, because baby, you're a star!

But before you go -- just one more thing..

Han Solo in Chocolate Carbonite

"You're going to get eaten"
"..I know"

Your Name in Lights

Yeah, we're kind of a big deal.

I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk

Spatula City

Buy 9 spatulas, get the 10th one for just one penny!

Ade Fenton

While I'm pretending that anyone else would be interested in my musical tastes, I have to recommend Ade Fenton. This is the guy responsible for Gary Numan's last album being so badass. Now he has a solo album. Numan guests on four tracks. If you can't get enough Nine Inch Nails, check this out. The only thing wrong with the album is that it's too short.

Tiger Army

This will be old news for you West Coasters, or anyone who, you know, keeps up with music (a game for the young and time-rich), but for me, this is the deal. I saw these guys open for Social Distortion about three years ago, and the first single from their new CD kills. Psychobilly ain't for everyone, but if it's for you, so is this.

Who's America's Favorite Fake Culinary Icon?

Interesting stuff happening over at OUPblog, where they're having a little poll to try and decide who the quintessential culinary icon that never actually lived might be.

The candidates are:

A. Ronald McDonald
B. Uncle Ben
C. Aunt Jemima
D. Betty Crocker

Also mentioned in the comments were the Quaker Oats Guy and Rastus from the Cream of Wheat boxes, meaning once again independent third-party hopeful Hamburger Helper Hand-Dude is outta luck.

Statler and Waldorf Get Evicted

Once the stagelights fade and all the greasepaint is gone, it can be hard for performers to adjust back to normal life -- especially when they're getting on in years.

Here's another sad story of celebrity in decline, this time in the shape of our favorite balcony heckling Muppets --Statler and Waldorf, who apparently haven't had much luck taking their act to a smaller venue.

All Along, All Along, All Along the Watchtower

One of my favorite songs of all time is "All Along the Watchtower," the Bob Dylan-penned classic made popular by Jimi Hendrix. While the Hendrix version will always stand as the crowning achievement, it's a song that's often covered by other bands --frequently taking on new directions and life every time it's played.

That's why it was so cool to discover this collection of cover versions compiled by the gang over at My Old Kentucky Blog.

From U2 and XTC to Michael Hedges and even Bob Dylan himself, there's plenty to choose from and listen to while the businessmen drink your wine and plowmen dig your earth.

Enjoy!

Blackle

Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine with all the chicks?

..Ya damn right!

HassleMe

Here's an idea that's long overdue -- a web service that literally nags you on a semi-regular basis about the little things you're always forgetting. From changing the air conditioner's filter to taking a walk in the park to remembering to call that one guy back about that thing -- there's tons of really helpful possibilities here.

Or to put it another way, here's a website that lets you spam yourself.

I can't wait to get my first email so I can immediately delete it saying,

"Yeah, Yeah I know, leave me alone already!"

Save Fred

Life is a precious thing. Every day our bodies perform countless processes that keep us healthy, happy, and alive. But when one of those things goes wrong it's up to you to get in there and fix the problem. Don't waste time worrying about how unbelievably loud the background music and sound effects on the website are, every second counts!

It's all up to you now -- Save Fred!!

Taking Stock

I just realized that today is our second anniversary. Thanks for spreading the word, y'all. We now regularly get over 1,000 visitors a month, and we're getting about three times the number of visits as we did just a year ago.

Keep the comment love coming.

Before you click the link, see if you can remember the first thing we recommended.

Running the Numbers

Series of large-scale photos depicting numbers too large for the mind to really handle.

The scale of the works is massive, a la Andreas Gursky.

To the left is a detail of a picture of 213,000 Vicodin pills, equal to the number of emergency room visits yearly in the US related to misuse or abuse of prescription pain killers.

This is also the number of Vicodin ingested during an eight-day stint in 1986 by Keith Richards.

Band Madness - The Final Four

A few months back we introduced you to Band Madness, the NCAA Men's Basketball Championship Tournament-inspired game that pitted various bands against each other in publicly voted point-and-click combat.

Now, after months of head-to-head challenges featuring over 500 different musical groups from all different backgrounds and genres, a final four has emerged:

David Bowie vs. The Beatles

and

Led Zepplin vs. Pink Floyd

From these two matchups a championship pairing will be decided to see who wins it all. So if you want your voice heard in this battle, the time to do it is now.

McFly 2015

McFly 2015 is a grass-roots petition project aimed at prompting Nike to create the same self-tying shoes bearing their brand name that were featured on young Marty McFly's feet during the 21st century sequences in "Back to the Future 2."

Sign up today and you too can join the ranks of people hoping they'll soon have the chance to tell people it's hip to be square. Or hang out with Crispin Glover.

..Something like that.

Civilization Hitting Bottom

That's it, we're done. We had technology, resources , and brains, and this is what we did with them.

Here it is, Your Friday Smile

Sometimes at the end of the week you just have to be thankful for all the good things can that happen in this world. I mean, who doesn't love free stuff?

Of course, it's always important to make sure you know the cats you're buying from, and just how much they have to offer - because if you get caught staring at the stars or being lazy the price can add up quick. And even then, you might still find yourself having to deal with some sort of moral test of one's self.

(Did I miss anything?)

Oh yeah -- right about now I'd choke somebody for a waffle.

And that's the week that was -- so here it is, your Friday Smile:

(You kinda had to be there to get the joke)

Free Comic Book Day

It's been around for a long time, but it's still going strong -- today, just like every first Saturday in May you can go into any comic book store and get free comic books -- including titles from frontline publishers like Dark Horse, DC, Marvel, IDW, and Image.

Granted, no one's gonna hand you a copy of Detective Comics #27, but from Anime to Spiderman, there's lots of great stuff to choose from.

So go get 'em!

The Lolcat Builder

Love Caturday, but don't possess the kind of photoshop-fu to join in the fun yourself? That's where the Lolcat builder comes in.

It's a cool little applet that lets you choose a cat, add your own text and then save it to use wherever you want. They even have a link that allows you to instantly post your new creation to icanhascheezburger.com.

But the best part of this is that it lets you upload your own photos, which opens up all sorts of cool possibilities for those of us with our own wacky felines (or whatever else might strike your fancy) to exploit for a chance at internet fame.

Here's one I made just this morning:

Keyboard Waffles

Do you like waffles?

Yeah, We Like Waffles!

Magnetosphere

Seriously cool visualization package for your iPod or Media Player. They even have a quicktime video showing this thing in action -- flashing lights, moving star formations, explosions of light.. All that's missing is a bunch college kids dancing with glowsticks.

Enjoy!

Please Don't Let This Suck

The finished product is still a long way off, and it's a very different kind of story from the last Chuck Palahniuk book to be made into a film -- but I'm already really excited about the possibilities for the upcoming movie version of Choke.

Also if you haven't had a chance to check out the book -- it's well worth it.

Enjoy!

A Map of Online Communities

"One does not simply walk into MySpace. Its black gates are guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep, and the Great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire and ash and dust, the very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly."

I'm still trying to decide which is my favorite -- "The Noob Sea" or the part that says "Here Be Anthropomorphic Dragons"

Regardless, I'm just weird enough to wonder if there's a way to get a print of this big enough to hang on the wall near my computer desk.

A Delightful Love Story Told in Just 3 Pictures

Click for the other two. A guaranteed "forward to everyone and then some" link (I've seen it in my inbox twice today already).

Free Pizza Day

Somebody tell Spruill.

What You Know About Math?

Funny for a moment, but then "backpack guy" takes a verse -- which turns out to be a Vanwinkle order of magnitude-sized mistake. Where's Barry Sobel when you need him, yo?