War on Terror: The Board Game

You're either with them or against them, or sometimes you're both!

President Ballsack

Tom Vilsack will not win the Democratic nomination for President, and it's not anything that James Carville can fix. The reason Carter was a one-termer? Middle-schoolers could make fun of his name, that's why. Same here.

This is what we at Highly Recommended call political humor. Stewart ain't got nothin' on us. CNN, here we come...

Owned

The Tree Bed

"That very night in Max's room a forest grew

and grew--

and grew until his ceiling hung with vines and the walls became the world all around."

There probably isn't an accurate way to describe just how cool I think this is, or just how many cheap pickup lines I would craft around it if I owned one.

But one thing's for certain -- if I can't afford the way cool "Where the Wild Things Are" Christmas stocking, there's probably no chance that I have even close to the necessary coinage it would take to get one of these.

Still -- what a way to dream, eh?

The Roller Toaster

I am Jack's potential fire hazard.

Monster Stockings

First and foremost: Want one, want one, want one.

But then you get a peek at that price tag and you're like "60 Bucks!?"

I mean, I guess they're using nice fabrics -- but really, what sort of gifts do people really get in their stockings? Gift certificates? Matchbox cars? ..Nothing?

Oh yeah, let me roll up to the curb in my jet car and see if I've got any change in my solid-gold wallet.

Still a pretty cool idea, though.

Laid Off: A Day in the Life

To be perfectly honest, Odd Todd was a lot funnier to me when I had a job.

Nowadays it hits a little too close to home, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't take a moment to enjoy what he does.

Set in those halcyon days after the dotcom crash, "Laid Off" shows you exactly what it's like when the calls stop coming.

Of course these toons have been around a while so there's a good chance you might have already seen them -- but just like fudge stripe cookies and pringles it's a good thing, because you never really know when you'll need them the most.

What Does She Want for Christmas This Year?

Oh I think you know.

The Star Wars Christmas Album

The holidays are upon us again bringing tidings of good cheer, christmas cards from friends, and endless piles of bad marketing ideas that flame out so hard they could help guide Santa's sleigh through even the foggiest of Christmas eves.

Take for example this misguided collection of songs celebrating the holiday spirit through the eyes of a protocol droid.

It's a bad idea from the start (as all attempts to combine the words 'Star Wars' and 'Christmas' tend to be), but on top of everything else there's something especially creepy about the combination of lounge piano music with the sound of Anthony Daniels' lilting robot vocals -- almost as if you're caught at an office christmas party with a C3P0 who has perhaps has downed one too many mimosas and is motioning for you to come join him under the mistletoe.

..and we all remember what happened to the
last guy who went there with him, don't we?

Wife Force One

Ever notice that Harrison Ford seems to make the same movie over and over?

The Game

Awww man, I lost!

Date Night in Nerdtown

I don't know - something about this is sorta cute and makes me wish I had thought of it first. But then after a while all you feel is this incredible urge to punch the people involved.

That being said, the word "Superpeep" will probably end up being a part of my vocabulary forever.

Enjoy!

America's Top Colleges: The 2006 Power Rankings

Here's one for all the parents out there -- College Humor's rundown of the Top 50 Colleges in the country. The rankings are based on a point system that tabulates the percentage of students that are female, the drug interest at the particular campus, the hours the bars close, and whether they give out free condoms or not.

And while I am simply aghast at my alma mater's poor showing in a listing such as this (where you'd think they'd clean up), I couldn't help but feel really bad for the kids over at Duke, who somehow didn't show up on the list at all.

I mean you'd think with all the effort the lacrosse team put in they'd get some run, but I guess that's what happens when you have a weak non-conference schedule, eh?

Anyways.. College.

Here's to it.

The YES Nation

Here's a neat little doo-dad that shows you in real time what songs are currently playing at various radios stations across the United States right now.

At the same time -- neat as this is to look at, what good is it supposed to do anyone? I mean, do they expect people to look at this site and say, "Oh crap, I'm missing a good song that's playing.. in Idaho?"

Way to kick radio when it's down, Internet!

Ms. Dewey

The first impression I got when I came across this interactive search engine was that it seemed like something Tom Cruise should have been talking to on the set of Minority Report. But further investigation revealed a neat little toy that not only finds information on the web, but has some fun with you along the way.

Ms. Dewey is the search engine that talks back to you, jokes around, and gets mad if you don't type anything into it for a while (try it and see). There seems to be no end to the preprogrammed responses she has for your search queries, and they all seem to be filled with a winking, flirty sense of humor that's easy to get addicted to.

Unfortunatley like all talking web widgets, the joke starts to wears thin once you start getting duplicate responses -- leaving you with what is essentially a sexier version of Bonzi Buddy.

Or at least, that's what I was starting to think until I asked her to do a search for Flava Flav.

..Yeah, I'm in love.

TAK Pushpins

Like it or not, the holiday season is upon us. What this means is that unless you're a shopping mall or a redneck, you'll soon have to deal with the annual house of horrors that is putting up christmas lights.

For those of you who might be thinking on a smaller scale -- like adorning a cubicle or an apartment window, these little beauties might just be the answer you've been looking for.

The Drivemocion

A lot of vehicles these days are equipped with bluetooth technology -- which I personally think is a good thing because I've always found it frustrating that I couldn't open financial spreadsheets with my car.

..idiots.

Why can't someone integrate the really important technological advances of the day into an automobile?

You know, like this.

Dennis The Menace

Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of Mr. Wilson's life. His breakfast will taste better than any meal you and I have ever had.

Immortality

Video might have killed the radio star, but if there's one thing you can always count on -- it's the internet's ability to keep a joke from dying.

We're All There.

It may not be any good (doubtful), but just get used to the fact that the entire planet will be going to the movies next Summer, to see this.

Make My People Sing

Looking for a quick way to bring your workplace to a screeching halt?

This might just be the answer.

The Big Lebowski Magic Bowling Ball

Rug-peers did not do this.

Getting our act together

Thanks to Hex, this site is now a bit more with the times. Comments should be working now, too, so please have at. We're also on course for another record month; don't look now, but we may have 1,000 unique visitors this month. Thanks for spreading the word!

Bad Libs

Oh you just gotta _(verb)_ madlibs. The simple "parts of speech" _(noun)_ that popped up at family parties or _(noun)_trips -- always bringing with it the possibility for that one "extra game" where you all all your _(group of people)_ couldn't help yourself from using _(dirty words)_ of all sorts and varieties to fill in all the blanks.

...or was that just me?

The trouble is, the stories you'd always find in those books were innocent and clean, in many ways nothing more than hapless victims to you and your inappropriate vocabulary skills.

If only there was a place where the stories themselves had a bad attitude..

Enter Bad Libs, a new take on the old favorite that offers users the chance to fill in some real blanks, if you know what I mean.

Whether you want to create the perfect breakup letter, dirty personal ad, sex columnist advice request, emo diary entry, or soul-bearing poem, Bad Libs has you covered. Plus, using the magic of patented In-ter-net™ technology - your Bad Lib can be instantly added to blog posts or MySpace bulletins so that they can be easily shared with all your adoring fans.

And really, isn't that what _(noun)_ is all about?

The Informed and Eye-Rolling Electorate

Rather than just supporting a political party blindly, learning a little something about the people you're electing can help when you hit the voting booths today. The mere fact that you're voting is inexplicably optimistic--good on you for thinking that things can get better rather than worse (I'm with you)--but at least you'll be able to say you did your homework rather than Christmas treeing the bitch.

That's where The League of Women Voters comes in. This non-partisan group asks each candidate questions about actual issues. I know blogs, the National Enquirer, and CNN are more entertaining sources of politico-tainment, but this way you can actually compare candidate answers yourself to make an informed decision. Crazy, no?

Having said all that, the unfiltered answers candidates give make it clear why so many of them rely on speechwriters, image-polishers, spokespeople, and other minions to make what they say palatable to more than say...themselves.

Here are actual answers from this year's candidates for office in New York. Maybe it's better where you are. I hope so.

"Besides my above-average academic and scholarly credentials, I have acquired some wisdom from copious reading."
--Donald Silberger

"I am active in defense of the Cuban Revolution, and participated in the 2005 anti-imperialist World Youth Festival in Caracas, Venezuela."
--Ben O'Shaughnessy

"I believe we are trying to achieve the right balance between security and civil rights. I have concerns, however it will take actual evidence of abuses under various laws such as the Patriot Act before I would be ready to alter them or abandon them."
--Italo A. Zanzi
(You mean besides the warrantless wiretapping thing?)

"He knows what it takes to create jobs and he how the real world works + experience that is needed in Washington."
--Jack Davis
(Dude, you're running for Congress--proofread!)

Then there's Christopher M. Srock...

Occupation: Full-time cook at Intercommunity Memorial Hospital
In 1998 I graduate with Honors from Newfane High School
I have run for town council and county legislature seats in 1999 and 2001 respectively
Both campaigns were issued based: winning the primary for councilman and losing the general elections
These losses raised issues that were addressed and helped everyone
(Except me. I lost...)

Run Satorical Run

As some of you might already know, our boy Satorical is running in the New York Marathon today. All told that means 26 miles through the streets of the city, all ending up with the big finish in Central Park.

This is no easy feat to accomplish, and it's doubly special seeing as this is his first attempt at it ever. So if you get a moment - make sure to leave well wishes and congrats for the man who started this site all those eons ago.

Great Job, Bro!!

Gents, a little travelling music if you please!

The Art of the Saber

I wasn't able to sneak this one in during the "star wars day" thing that sort of unintentionally happened yesterday, but it's far too good to not post.

Set to the music of Denez Prigent, this film is one of the best homemade offerings I've ever seen. With text taken directly from an authentic Civil War love letter and fight choreography rivaling the best Hollywood could offer, it's the sort of thing I find myself watching over and over again.

Enjoy!

Ayiti

Ever wondered what it's like to be Haitian? Here's your chance.

Jedi Recruitment at Grand Central

We're feeling Star Wars today here at Highly Recommended. Here's news of some event marketing for Cinemax' showing of the Star Wars movies in HD. Apparently they'll have kung fu guys with lightsabers at Grand Central Station tomorrow.

I'd bet real money that at some point during rush hour you'll hear "Yo Anakin, get the fuck outta the way!"

Darth Bundy

Your first wife didn't support your career choices -- which really ticked you off seeing as you were just trying to help her out. Then she died, which was hard to get over -- but with time comes healing, and with eHarmony.com comes the opportunity for a second chance at love.

But then two years later it's "take the trash out this" and "we never go anywhere nice for dinner anymore that"

There's only so much one sith can take, you know?

The John Hughes Jukebox

Here's a nice bit of retro cool, a webpage featuring scads of free downloadable music from every movie John Hughes ever made. You won't find every song from every soundtrack, but there are loads of hard to find and out-of-print titles to choose from.

The coolest aspect of the whole thing for me is the fact that many of these tunes were used as background music for incidental moments in the films (chase scenes, visual montages, driving sequences), and as such never found a place on the original soundtrack albums.

Whatever the case, there's plenty of source material here to create fun little playlists with -- all without having to endure Molly Ringwald's incessant whining about how unbearable her life is.

And only a neo maxi zum dweebie
would pass up a chance like that.

The Death of the Pink Flamingo

Kind of a shame, really.

Dave Gorman's Important Astrology Experiment

UK TV show from 2002 in which a guy follows his horoscopes for 40 days. The setup takes a while to get going, but it's worth it. The series runs three hours total; I chewed through it in one sitting.

Stiff

"The human head is of the same approximate size and weight as a roaster chicken."

The book is subtitled "The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers." Get it now so you'll be full of fascinating facts during Thanksgiving dinner.

Best Fight Scene Ever

To help you ramp up for the first leg of your five-day texas death match with the work week, take a look at this gem from Undefeatable, yet another in a line of unintentionally hilarious films starring Cynthia Rothrock (seen here as the one-armed master of towel-fu).


(it gets a little graphic and there's lots of shouting, so if you're at the office it's probably best to turn it down a little.)

I swear, every time you think it's starting to wear thin, this clip surprises you by getting even better. In fact, the only thing I think that could possibly improve this scene at all would be for mullet dude to tell the Van-Dammish guy he is his father.

"We'll keep an eye out for you, Stingray!"

Clock

Even though it seems like theres no way Flava Flav could wear it around his neck -- I love stuff like this.

Hairy Mail

When you care enough to send the bear-y best.

The Girls Costume Warehouse

Looking for a place to find that last-second costume? Why don't you head over to the lovely streets of Hackensack, New Jersey and let this pleasant older gentleman help you out.

.

(nsfw -- but fuhgettaboutit, I know a guy!)

RainbowPuke.com

Finally, a site that offers clear answers to anyone who ever wondered why being somewhere over the rainbow is always better than being directly underneath one.

The Nutty Buddy

Ever wonder what pro ballplayers buy with all that money?

Play the video to find out.

Your New Favorite Song

Stop me if you've heard this one:

Three scientists went to the jungle in search of rare butterflies. After a long day they made camp near a river, but while they were sleeping a tribe captured them and put them in a tent. After a while the tribe's cheif enters the tent, walks up to the first scientist and says,

"Death or Unga Bunga?"

The Mark Foley Action Figure

"Meet The Press" action playset sold separately.

Giant Steps

I can't think of a better way to start a morning.

The Cylon Jack-o-Lantern

They were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. And they have a ..plan?

'Tis the Season

Foamy. Halloween. F Bombs. Gimme some candy.

(nsfw, unless you're working on the set of a Scorsese film).

The Forbidden Crypts of Haunted Music

Wow, talk about a labor of love. A page completely filled to the brim with the weirdness that is the novelty LP. The fact that the page is dedicated largely to Halloween music makes it a timely find, but what I truly love about this is the care the webmaster has put in.

More than just a collection of retro album cover photos -- almost every picture links to a page where you can listen to the individual songs on the album at your lesiure -- In short, this guy has painstakingly digitized his record collection and made it all available for free.

If you have the time and you're looking for tracks to soup up your next Halloween party, dig around in here. Outside of more wacky titles like "Sing Along with Drac" and "At Home With The Munsters," you'll find collections of theme songs from classic horror fare like "Dark Shadows" as well as some truly fun songs from the likes of Rob Zombie, Spike Jones, The Reverend Horton Heat, Southern Culture on the Skids, and Rocket From the Crypt.

Enjoy!

Watching Paint Peel

Actually, this is before that.

Knowing is Half the Battle

..But it doesn't make it any less creepy.

I Love the Yeti

Remember, it's ok to "love" the Yeti, as long as you're not "in love" with the Yeti.

Tasteful Advertising

NewsCorp purchased MySpace a little while back, so you had to expect some more ads would crop up.

I lay this one squarely at the feet of Rupert Murdoch.

OK - Aren't You Gone Yet?

All right OK Go, I'll admit it -- it is a pretty cool video. It's the kind of clip that makes people remember why they liked music videos in the first place. Unfortunatley for you, the video is waaay more memorable than the song itself, which means regardless of your actual potential as a band, MTV's invisible stopwatch has been started and your 15 minutes is quickly ticking away.

Here's the latest 51 seconds to fall.

Euro Disney

(If anyone looks at your screen more than casually, this is NSFW)

"Granddad, why did we invade France?"
"Well boy, our government was led by crazy people then. Some regarded France, with its love of peace, art, and non-microwaved food, to be suspicious and threatening. When the Euro Disney tape went on the Internet, well, that was the last straw."
"So how come the other countries let us get away with it?"
"Well, the British and the Germans hated the French too. Now finish your hamburger and Freedom Within Reason Fries."

Tiny Dinosaur Theory.org

Science that makes sense.

Broadviewgraphics

Retro cool art, clothing, and such.

Pin-up art is always fun, but one of my favorite things about this site are the series of prints made up to look like the covers of old 50's pulp detective novels -- in this case featuring mysteries to be solved by ace detective *snicker snicker* Dick Harden.

Ribaldry aside, there's some very cool stuff here from a very talented artist, and if nothing else the background music is groovy with a capital wowie zow zow.

You're Going to Make it To The Weekend

You've been working with these jerks all week. Sure on Monday you were able to put a happy face and be all Code Monkey about it, but here it is only Thursday morning and you're starting to get the feeling you'll never be rid of them.

If only there was a way to express your anger, you know?



Don't even try to front -- You'll be doing this by lunchtime.

The Q-Unit

A few years back producer/DJ Dangermouse (probably best known these days for his work with Gnarls Barkley) released "The Grey Album" - a unique (and exceptionally cool) mash-up using vocals from Jay-Z's "The Black Album" combined with samples taken exclusively (and unfortunately without permission) from "The White Album" by The Beatles.

And while the idea of mash-ups has been popular ever since, very few albums in that style have found their way to any kind of prominence (probably because most attempts to mix one artists vocal stylings with another's music ranges from the crappy to the downright laughable).

Or at least it seemed that way until The Silence Xperiment came up with Q-Unit -- which mixes the arena rock stylings of Queen with thug rhymes from 50 Cent.

It takes some getting used to and it's definitely not for everyone, but it's a combination that seems to work better than most. Best of all, everything's available free for download from the site for you to check out to your hearts content.

Enjoy!

(Mad love to the Monster for the link)

Bad Brains at CBGB's

By the time you read this the it will most likely be sold out (tickets were still available this morning), but tonight marks the last hardcore/punk show ever to be held at CBGB's.

Opened in 1972, CBGB's was originally intended to feature country and bluegrass acts, but instead became a launching pad for some of the biggest names in American punk rock. After 34 years of original music performances from both known and unsigned acts, the club will be closing the doors on the 315 Bowery location at the end of this month. Shows will continue to the end of the week, culminating Sunday night with a sold-out performance by Patti Smith.

Despite rumors that the club will be re-opening somewhere else in the city (or possibly Las Vegas), it will be a shame to see the place go.

That being said, I can't think of a better way to see things off than with a performance by legendary reggae/punk rockers Bad Brains (who just happen to be one of my all-time favorite bands).

Here's a little sample of what we'll be missing:

Metal by Numbers

Scathingly on-target song explaining exactly what's missing from today's so-called "metal bands" sung by the balding old guy you're always surprised to see hanging out at rock and roll shows.

No not me, the other one -- Brian Posehn

The mosh pit scene alone makes this worth watching, but there's plenty of other fun to be had in the form of in-jokes and parodies of some of metals biggest names and cliches.

I'd love to stay and point them
out, but I gotta walk the dogs.

Being A Loser, To Win

We've recommended the freakshow that is competitive eating before, but that was for "normal" foods like hotdogs. Here we have people competing to see who could eat the most jalapeno peppers.

The problem with this type of contest is that everyone loses, especially those in the audience.

Making Stuff Up

This was too good to keep to myself. Here follows Hex's review of Final Fantasy VII.

--

I rented "Final Fantasy VII" on a lark the other day. The animation is stunning. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the plot is, but it's worth a look.

What was fun for me was that the more lost I got in the plot, the more I decided to make my own story up. So if you're interested here's a quick summation of what I decided the story was about:

Members of the emo rock band HIM battle against what appears to be various members of the A-Team, characters from the videogame Street Fighter, and possibly one or two of the guys in Poison for control over the visualization effects that come free when you download the Winamp media player. Then there's some boss motorcycle chases leading up to a battle with a giant monster that sort of looks like the villian from the SAW horror films.

There are also wolves and what look to be pokemon characters, but I haven't figured that part out yet.

--

I think this is a good time to remind people that Hex is actively seeking employment. Although AdSense would probably make both Hex and me instant millionaires, it would also crappify the blog, so that ain't happenin'. So if you've got an opening for a gig, let the man know via the profile link on the upper right side of the page.

Dissing Lorne Greene

Sure, I like the show too - but c'mon, what did Ben Cartwright ever do to deserve treatment like this?

Starts out fun and then (as you fully expect) it turns into a commercial. Such is the world wide widget these days, but it was either this or "My Pussy is Magic" (nsfw) - and believe me, I did you a favor not putting that one up on your screen.

Turkish Wizard of Oz

If they can do it in Bollywood, they can do it in Turkey. Keep your eyes peeled for the Wicked Witch of the West, who looks like Witchie-Poo with jaundice, rocking a coned hat she decorated while in her Van Halen phase.

Thriller

* In the third century B.C. the Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after giving his donkey wine, then seeing it attempt to feed on figs.

* It is cited that the Burmese king Nandabayin, in 1599 laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venice was "a free state without a king".

* In 1660, the Scottish aristocrat, polymath and first translator of Rabelais into English, Thomas Urquhart, is said to have died laughing upon hearing that Charles II had taken the throne.

* In 1782, a certain Mrs Fitzherbert is reported to have suffered from an attack of hilarity while she attended a performance of the Beggar's Opera. When Charles Bannister appeared on scene as Peachum, she burst into an uncontrollable laugh so loud that she had to be expelled from the theatre. She laughed continuously all night long and the day after and died early the following day.

..Call 911.

Teleportation

Well, scientists can now beam information from one place to another. Whee. Wake me when this makes visiting Staten Island desirable.

I mean feasible. Sorry. Don't wanna get all science fiction there.

The Leia Hat

Only you could be sew bold.

The Lyrics Plugin

Cool little doodad you can download for Winamp or Windows Media Player that displays lyrics for whatever song you have playing at the moment. A really useful thing to have for those of us who normally subscribe to either of the two major schools of singing along with songs you like but don't know the words to:

The "something-something-something" school

"Come here girl
Go 'head be gone with it
something-something-something
Go 'head be gone with it..."

-or-

The "insert nonsensical gobbeldygook and hope no one notices" trick, which kind of looks like this:

Evil Dead: The Musical

Necronomicon-tastic!

I Have Seen the Face of God

...but now I sorta wish I hadn't

Code Monkey

Considering just how aggressively unemployed I have been lately, I find it sorta strange just how much entertained I am by this song. It's bouncy and happy and I'll probably be sick of it by tomorrow, but for right now it's three minutes of looking busy on a Monday, and even if it was forever ago I can still remember just how valuable that can be.

The Baby Toupee

Buyer beware -- These are not toupees. They are wigs.

See, a wig gives you a hairstyle you wouldn't normally have. Toupees on the other hand are a device used to conceal pattern baldness. Of course, once an infant starts to get insecure about their declining youth and looks they're libel to spend any amount of money on all sorts of snake oil type cures.

It's a shame, really.

So until this company wises up and starts making products like "The Burt Reynolds" or "The Shatner", you're probably better off sticking with that spray-on hair that's been um.. working so well for you lately (no really, you can hardly tell).

Cassette Generator

Have a few fictitious band names floating around in your head? Use this to publish their first cassette. Finally, punk geniuses Team Anarchy can go bigtime.

Find the Bands

The images within this picture represent the names of 74 different bands, ranging from classics like The Rolling Stones to more recent fare like the Scissor Sisters (yes, those are both hints).

From what I can tell the original Virgin Records contest has come and gone, but the challenge still exists for music nerds and bored workers everywhere to test their mettle against what might be one of the most fun marketing ideas to come across the pond in recent memory.

Feel free to post your answers in the comments section, but hurry -- I'm already about halfway through it myself!

When Collective Knowledge Isnt Enough

Every wonder what it's like to have Tourettes syndrome?

This cheap gag might help.

Tralala

Girl group from Brooklyn. Boys play the instruments. S'fun.

Bribery (CONTEST)

It looks like this is going to be the biggest month ever for Highly Recommended, with about 700 unique visitors to the blog. Whee!

Comments have been few and far between, however. That may be because the blog sucked, but I'd prefer to think our readership is a shy lot. It's easier on my ego that way.

ANYway, we are not above bribery to get what we want, so the person with the best comments over the next week will win my copy of the new Tom Warnick CD I've been raving about. "Best" will be determined solely by Hex and me, no appeals allowed, we are the law. Given the rate of comments right now, you could win with one zinger or profound statement. Quality counts over quantity, but five good comments could win out over one stellar one. That's for US to decide. Contest runs for one week, to end at 12:01am EST October 2nd. Get crackin', kids!

IMPORTANT: Please note all comments in THIS post, so that we don't have to hunt through 237 posts to find your gem. You can wait 'til the end of the week if you like, just make sure before 10/2 that you post ONE comment here noting where we need to look to find your comments.

Gamma Bros.

Robotron meets Galaxian. Free.

For those of you born after 1980, it's a mad old school shooter.

For the hipsters out there, it's a vintage retro game by an indie publisher. Also worthwhile on the indie tip: Stick Arena. Now for the hipsters: get off my blog.

Least Competent Criminals

This is late night TV show fodder, which is normally beneath us, but it's too good to pass up. Some doofus with a GTA tatt was arrested for attempted GTA. He blew his getaway by putting the car owner's club onto the steering wheel and locking it. Read that last sentence a hundred times and it still will not make sense.

Updates

This site is the zeitgeist, because there have been new developments regarding our three most recent posts.

WTC
Asked about how they feel about being tenants in the Freedom Tower, government employees say "Oh hell no."

Go
Go is apparently more of a challenge for artificial intelligence than chess.

Tom Warnick
Tom Warnick, whose new CD is well worth your $10, has had some serious health problems. He may well address them in detail on his site at some point. It's my understanding that he's mending, slowly, and we wish him the best of luck on a full recovery.

Painting Invisible Targets

Ok, so we're rebuilding the WTC site. Fine. Naming it the Freedom Tower is a bit over the top, but whatever. Thing is, when you announce that the federal government is going to be the anchor tenant, aren't you kinda asking for it--and not just from foreign terrorists, but homegrown nutjobs as well? The only way it could be more of a dare at this point is if they rented the remaining floors to the Society for Taking Away Charleton Heston's Guns and Drawing Cartoons About Islam.

Extra Added Bonus: The gummint has contracted to rent said space at about 50% above market value. F you, taxpayers.

Go

Having discovered Go at the tender age of 36, I'm now annoying all my friends with this ancient Japanese board game. The rules take a little while to learn, but it's playable to infinity. If you can master the little Java tutorial linked in this post's title, then you're ready to go out and get stomped by Go masters from around the world. This server seems a little easier to use than the Yahoo! Games behemoth.

May I See Some ID?

I've Highly Recommended Tom Warnick before, but oddly, he's not yet bigger than American Idol as promoted by a planet-wide integrated mobile gaming/free dental dam giveaway marketing campaign. This, in spite of lyrics on the first album like "In the Duane Reade of Despair, I am the Chief Clerk." For those outside the Mid-Atlantic, Duane Reade is a big pharmaceutical chain like CVS or Walgreen's. C'mon, how can you not love that?

BUT NOW, the band has a new album out. How's this for a description: They Might Be Giants, after three lifetimes of hangovers and gambling debts, forcing them to sell their electronics and kill one of the Johns.

That's a good thing. Go. Listen.

Mel Gibson Newsgame

Dated, wrong, and funny.

Also, sponsored by The Game Show Network?

Astronauts

Say what you will about the space program, but the people who actually fly in the shuttle and get the work done in outer space are awesome. They are low-key, hypercompetent, passionate geeks, like Jack Bauer on quaaludes.

The latest shuttle mission involved undoing about a hundred bolts while wearing spacesuits. One of the bolts was simply stuck, endangering installation of a $372 million truss and solar array. After two spacewalkers completely kept their cool ("Son of a gun" was the worst expletive used), they used a wrench and a cheat bar to get it unscrewed. When it was all over, one of the crew inside Atlantis said:

“Now there was much rejoicing.”


I find it comforting that the best working scientists in the nation are Monty Python fans.

Remembering

Ok, first of all, I probably should just cease posting altogether, seeing as how Hex's find of Shoes is the funniest goddamn thing I've seen in ages.

Be that as it may, back here in the all-too-real world we've been assaulted by flag-waving 9/11 jive nonstop this week. I saw Bush's helicopter arrive Monday on a helipad near work, then had to listen to happy marching bands the rest of the day. Jarring stuff, all.

One of the largely-forgotten tidbits of 9/11 is that Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson came out shortly after the attacks and laid the blame squarely at the feet of New York City. That's right, our godless ways caused the Almighty to send Osama's minions to kill a bunch of us.

It turns out, though, that he was taken out of context. I just discovered this clarification today.

Shoes

What'd you expect, con-dams?

(these cuss words are three hundred dollars -- nsfw, betch)

Justice

There are disadvantages to living in New York City. Worse than the risk of any violent crime, driving, psychotically expensive rents, or having your death be the constant subject of Osama's wet dreams, is the noise. Now, there are hardcore assholes, mostly trust fund party kids, who will tell you that if it's too loud for you to just move out of the city. The rest of us have day jobs, and the constant aural assault makes earplugs one of the first things you buy after moving to Noo Yawk. Some people even wear earplugs on the subway, because the less of your day you spend exposed to jetplane decibel-levels, the better. No foolin', this city is LOUD, and it simply does not stop at any hour, unless it's just snowed on a holiday weekend. Any other time is a pellmell of buses, garbage trucks, car alarms, Mister Softee trucks (fuckers), boom cars, car services ringing the "Brooklyn Doorbell" (car horns), and worst of all: shout-outs in the street. Shout-outs are annoying enough in the middle of the day, but when two people are having a conversation at top volume from different sides of the street at 3am, the most kindly thought you have is calling the cops. The rest of your thoughts involve bloodletting.

Enter this. I'm not suggesting you use stainless steel shot, but frozen blueberries delivered via slingshot and laser sighting are completely appropriate for use on drunkards who don't understand how to leave a bar or club quietly. If you want to party down and make some noise, pay a cover charge and hit the party hiz-ouse of your choice. Otherwise, you are fair game for some blueberry-flavored justice.

I am the law.

The Tetran

Frequently when I watch anime I get the distinct sensation that my life is somehow incomplete because I am unable to spontaneously produce metaphoric droplets of water on my forehead whenever I feel exasperated.

In fact, it seems downright unfair to me that only pixie-voiced, giant-eyed schoolchildren get the opportunity to mingle with the undead, fight aliens, and have sex with tentacle plants.

Not that The Tetran solves any of these problems, mind you -- but there's something positively Miyazaki-an about the prospect having a small, spiny, neon-colored orb hanging somewhere on your body waiting for a chance to fulfill it's life's wish of wrapping itself up in the cord for your iPod earbuds.

My advice is to get yours now before Gwen Stefani
buys them all up and starts writing songs about them.

MySpace for the Granny Games set

This is a social networking site for casual gamers. Having no pictures is a bonus when your target demographic is not quite as comely as the Facebook legions.

Albert Lee

Best Country AND Western you'll hear all day.

Props to N'Drew for the find.

All-Time Top 100 Stars at the Box Office

A while back there was a buzz going on in Hollywood about how the success of The Incredibles was sure to help Samuel L. Jackson finally surpass Harrison Ford as the top grossing box-office star of all-time. And while it's not hard to fathom either of those two men being that successful, I found myself curious as to where these so-called rankings were being kept.

Enter "The Numbers", a movie-industry site that keeps tabs on just about everything connected with the silver screen. Most of the site is dedicated to measuring which film did the best over a given holiday weekend, or who had the biggest opening day -- but if you dig a little deeper you'll find a handful of lists that tell some pretty interesting stories about Hollywood and the people who work in it.

For example, while it's true that Samuel L. Jackson's movies have generated more revenue than Harrison Ford's, that still doesn't make him #1. That honor is held by Frank Welker, whose box office totals over the course of his career cash in at over $4 billon.

For those of you who might not be familiar, Frank Welker is a voice actor who has been working in animation and film since the early 1960's. Probably most recognizable as the voice of Freddy from the Scooby Doo series, Welker has lent his talents to more than 500 television and film projects, making him more like an institution than a star.

Of course, herein lies the basic problem with the list - the idea that anyone associated with a given movie can be given individual credit for it's financial success (which not only accounts for the prominence of voice actors in the list, but also helps to explain the respective statuses of people like John Ratzenburger, Kenny Baker, and Clint Howard).

Bottom line -- next time you catch your kid making funny cartoon voices instead of doing their homework, don't get mad

Get them an agent.

What Right-Wingers See When They Read The New York Times

All the news that's fit to squint at, and then some.

The Sickipedia

In an age of collective wisdom and community thought, it's nice to know that people haven't forgotten that it's the little things that make life worth living.

For example -- deliciously tasteless jokes, organized by category.

An invaluable research aid to those of us who aren't Don Rickles, you'll never have to worry about confusing your Stevie Wonder and Hellen Keller jokes again.

"Cmon, people in the back!"

You know how Louis Armstrong could take any song and make it his own? This is like that, only not in a good way.

Reviewing Crap

The reviewer got far more than $20 of entertainment out of this craptacular MP4 player.

If Emo Ruled The World

Look for the Lego set.

martinamartina

My building must have a "nifty people only" clause, because everyone here is pretty darn spiffy. This is the website for one of my downstairs neighbors, who does a lot of work for gurl.com. I think her comic strips are especially good.

Lotte Reiniger

This German woman created the first full-length feature animated film, The Adventures of Prince Achmed, 11 years before Disney's Snow White. It's available through Netflix--check it out. Working for more than 50 years, she created more than 80 animated films, mostly fairytale or operatic adaptations, with articulated silhouette cutouts. Her detailed figures and backgrounds are truly impressive. Hunt her stuff down and experience some joy.

Mind-Blowing Math

In spite of the Bush Administration's War on Science, it's nice to see some people are still thinking the big thoughts. This is a proof of Poincare's Conjecture.

On second thought, everybody involved here is foreign. Sigh.

Freud Redesigns Gas Cap

Oh, sorry. That's Ford redesigns gas cap.

Heartfelt Political Debate

Joe Redner, Tampa strip club owner, gets a chair thrown at him after picking on a debate opponent's weight.