Jello Time

The way you know a fad's made it in this country is if they write a country song about it. With that in mind, here are some suggested titles for the inevitable popularity of this website.

It's Jello Time Somewhere
If You've Got the Money, I Got the Jello Time
Love Gets Me Every Jello Time
Don't Waste My Jello Time
Jello Time After Jello Time
Full Jello Time Job

Either way, Jellotime.com is strangely addicting, giggle-inducing good times that is certainly a lot more fun than working.

Enjoy!

Totally Looks Like.com

Unnecessary Knowledge

Unnecessary Knowledge. I can't really say that you need it, because that would make it sorta ..necessary.

But you like it (you know you do). And now -- it's yours for the clicking at Unkno.com.

So go get some!

Stuff Jewish People Endure

You know you're onto something when they start making knock-offs of it. So it only makes sense that the awesomeness that is Stuff White People Like would spawn imitators -- such as this little web gem, complete with one of the more memorable banner photos you're going to see all day.

ZombieHarmony

Let's face it, it's tough out there. You stay in shape, you dress right, you drag your mutilated legs to all the hip and happening places in town -- and yet at the end of the night you're sitting in front of a TV picking at a hungry-man brain on a plate dinner wondering why you're still alone.

Just because you're undead doesn't mean you should miss out on living, right?

Fortunately, that's where ZombieHarmony.com comes in. The first and only Internet dating site for Zombies, it offers users the chance to check the 3-4 most important compatibility factors that lead to everlasting undead bliss.

Create a profile, browse user photos, send messages -- and 28 days later we promise you'll never have to face another dawn of the dead by yourself ever again.

Enjoy!

ps -- If I had been in on the meetings for this, I would have fought tooth and nail for the site to be called Z-Harmony, but that's just me harping once again at the fact that every marketing campaign in the world doesn't come to me for advice (they should, and one day they will).

The 10 Most Slanderous Cinematic Slights

One of the things I've always loved about cinema -- even from it's earliest days -- is the propensity of inside jokes that can be found (if you know where to look). From cartoon characters being caricatures of rival animators to thinly veiled Devil Wears Prada-styled rundowns of high-ranking famous people, the things you don't always know about your favorite characters are oftentimes the most interesting. With that in mind, here's a very informative list from IFC.com of their top 10 most slanderous Hollywood on-screen cut downs.

Yeah, I'm Gonna Have to Disagree

Caught this over at Deus ex Malcontent (which is all kinds of awesome) and had to share. An Edgar Award-winning author posted an op-ed piece in the Wall Street Journal listing the similarities between Batman (from The Dark Knight)and ..George W. Bush.

"There seems to me no question that the Batman film "The Dark Knight," currently breaking every box office record in history, is at some level a paean of praise to the fortitude and moral courage that has been shown by George W. Bush in this time of terror and war."

Which, #1 -- is ridiculous; but also means that Cheney is Robin, which in and of itself provides a mental image that I'm not sure I'll ever recover from.

Ninjitsu, Nyet

How to Be Understood at Comic-Con

This weeks "you aren't here but don't you wish you were" destination cropping up all over the Internet is the now-infamous Comic-con in San Diego. What was once little more than a punchline for nerd jokes has grown over the years to where it's now almost a no-miss event for fanboys, obsessives, ironics, and haters alike.

But when you get right down to it, if you're gonna go into that particular Heart of Darkness, you might need to brush up on the lingo, lest you get caught needing to know how to get to the bathroom and the only person you can find to ask is dressed like the janitor from Deep Space Nine.

Luckily, Wired has compiled a quick phrasebook that anyone can use while they're roaming the exhibits.

Hint -- the word "Scurvy" apparently carries a lot of weight.

So you know, try to use it as much as possible.

Font Conference

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Shades of Internet Commenter Business Meeting, but they do this type of thing well.

Hanging Your Head in Shame

Every so often you'll see a child music prodigy do something that is super-impressive. This one was custom-designed to make Rush fans lose their shit. The audience is polite, but has no idea how freaking hard this is.

Thanks to n'drew for the link.

Taking a Hard Stare

Most calculators that tally your environmental impact on the planet are just that--calculators. This one adds a little bit of graphical representation to give you a better idea of how much you're consuming. It also lets you compare yourself to others who took the test. Most sustainable lifestyle: Green Party respondents. Least: Libertarians (Thanks Ron Paul!)

Apparently, if everyone lived the way I do, we'd need another three planets. And I don't even drive a car.

Mystery Science Theater 3000 - 20th Anniversary Edition

The 20th anniversary of MST3K is coming soon, and to commemorate this a new DVD set promising all-new material (translation: stuff that didn't make it onto their other DVD sets) is now taking pre-orders over on Amazon.com. Might be worth a look if you're a fan.

Then again, if you're a fan -- you clearly remember each episode ending with the tagline "Keep Circulating the Tapes," -- which means that a lot of this we already have.

It's a ..conundrum.

Free Slurpee Day

It's 7/11. Which means if you head on over to a participating Seven Eleven today, on Seven Eleven -- you can get yourself a free 7.11 ounce Slurpee to enjoy.

Unless of course, you live in Jacksonville, Florida where there aren't any.

Michael Bay's Rejected "Dark Knight" Script

Is this how lazy I've become? I love this idea, and actually cracked up out loud when I started reading this, but then it becomes clear that I'm gonna actually have to scroll, scroll, scroll, down what appears to be acres of pages to get the whole effect -- and I actually consider clicking away to something else?

I mean, come on -- I read actual books, and I can't be bothered to flick my finger more than 10 times just to get the rest of a joke? What the heck is up with that!?

At the same time, this is 2008 -- how about mixing in some navigational buttons, maybe a scroll bar -- at least have something bros. Because this is definitely worth seeing, but when it comes to web attention spans, there's a chance a lot of people might miss it.

All that aside, this one's genius.

Enjoy!

Clicking

What have you learned from online dating? Share your hard-won wisdom with the world, at Clicking.

Animation Block Party

Sorry, Philip Glass.

You may be playing for free at Prospect Park, but it's on July 25th. I have to ditch you for an animation festival with an afterparty, band, and free beer. It's $9. I already bought my ticket, and hope you'll understand.

Sunny Days, Chasing the $#@&! Away

Jimmy Kimmel Live is one of those shows you either love or hate. In fact, Kimmel himself is sorta like that too. But the fact remains that over the years he and his writers have come up with some real gems for people to enjoy. Here's one of my faves:

Monsieur Wizard

Careful with those cellphones, kids.

Be Kind Rewind

Ok, so this is the type of mass media thing we don't typically talk about once it's hit DVD, but this movie is getting our recommendation for a couple of reasons:

1) You know you didn't see it when it was in the theaters.
2) There's a great anti-gentrification theme to it.
3) The amateur videos made for a Be Kind Rewind contest are hilarious.