How to Be Understood at Comic-Con

This weeks "you aren't here but don't you wish you were" destination cropping up all over the Internet is the now-infamous Comic-con in San Diego. What was once little more than a punchline for nerd jokes has grown over the years to where it's now almost a no-miss event for fanboys, obsessives, ironics, and haters alike.

But when you get right down to it, if you're gonna go into that particular Heart of Darkness, you might need to brush up on the lingo, lest you get caught needing to know how to get to the bathroom and the only person you can find to ask is dressed like the janitor from Deep Space Nine.

Luckily, Wired has compiled a quick phrasebook that anyone can use while they're roaming the exhibits.

Hint -- the word "Scurvy" apparently carries a lot of weight.

So you know, try to use it as much as possible.