Freddy and Fredericka

I'm about halfway through this, and repeatedly having that great sensation of "I can't believe how good this is."

The quasi-fictional Prince and Princess of Wales are banished to America. Hilarity ensues.

The Princess is savantly--and only savantly--brilliant:

"The next time we're chased by the police, we should run toward them. Let's say we're going at the speed of light, and they're going at the speed of light. If we run toward them, when we pass them we'll be moving apart at twice the speed of light. What better way to get away from someone?"

Ebert

While I hate to hear about people I respect or celebrities I like facing serious health problems, I have to admit that one of the better unexpected side effects that has come along with the ailments that storied Chicago Sun Times film reviewer Roger Ebert has been dealing with lately is the gradual fading away of his sense of "niceness" when it comes to reviewing films he clearly doesn't like.

Not that Ebert has ever been above skewering cinematic works he feels fall short of their intentions, but that lately he's started to get downright crotchety old man about it -- and as the summer movie season continues to roll out blockbuster after blockbuster, the results are becoming increasingly hilarious.

In other words -- had the much vaulted and ballyhooed Sex and the City movie come out say, five years ago -- there would be his review of the film balanced with objectively pleasant comments about the directors and people involved, or at least a friendly nod to all the hoopla surrounding pop culture phenomenons like this regardless of the quality of the movie that it spawns.

That was then.
This is now.

The best part of the whole thing is that it's not even a really negative review in terms of his overall impressions of the film itself, but it's very clearly a "I don't want to be in this theater at all. Couldn't they have gotten Roper to do this!?"

I can almost see him sitting there in front of his keyboard, America's movie review voice for as long as I can possibly remember, thinking to himself "Go see it. Or stay home. -- You know what? -- Do whatever you want. I don't care. Eat me."

Awesome.

Checking In/Navel-Blinking

Hi loyal reader.

If you're a first-time reader, you're included too.

This month marks our three-year anniversary. Woohoo!

Here's the deal: In May 2007 we had over 1300 unique visitors. This May we've had about 800. The main difference is that we posted less stuff.

Speaking for myself, I try not to post stuff you'll see everywhere else, or that comes from one of our Permanently Recommended sites (that's why we have them, over there to the right). It's best when the thing in question sparks an actual thought. Cool stuff is cool in and of itself, but there are a million (ok, a billion) "cool" sites on the Web, and I figure we should actually say why the thing/site in question caught our attention.

Above all, we must feel the thing/site/sentiment posted about is worthy of being Highly Recommended (for whatever reason). Somehow, on this site, that applies to cats belonging both to Schroedinger and the Land of LOL.

Minifesto over.

(Yes, I just made that up).

Women In Chains!

Aint It Cool News is reporting that Robert Rodriguez and Rose McGowan may team up for a television series... with a very distinct and un-television flavor. From the article:

"...a show with Sadistic Guards, Cafeteria Hosedowns, Mud Wrestling, Violent Vendettas - a women in prison exploitation show called WOMEN IN CHAINS! Yes, with a fucking exclamation."

The article goes on to pray to the TV deities that HBO picks up the show, so we're not left with whatever the real networks can stomach to air.

Given what we got the last time Rodriguez and McGowan were working together, I think I share that sentiment:

Death Note

Many theaters around the country will be featuring screenings of the live-action adaptation of the popular manga/anime series Death Note tonight and tomorrow -- and if you're a fan of the genre, it's definitely worth a look.

For the uninitiated, Death Note is the story of a Japanese university student who resents the crime and corruption in the world. His life undergoes a drastic change when he discovers a mysterious notebook, known as the "Death Note", lying on the ground. The Death Note's instructions claim that if a human's name is written within it, that person will be killed. Initially the student decides uses the power of the book to kill criminals -- but as you might expect, things soon become much more complicated.

The film will be released to DVD fairly soon (should you miss these screenings), but even with the recent rise in popularity of manga and anime, this is a rare opportunity to catch what looks to be a really good one in a theater setting with other fans.



Or if you're like me, it might be a good way to remove the bad taste Speed Racer left in your mouth, and give you something hopeful to think about while you read more and more stories about the live-action adaptation of Akira that Keanu Reeves is reportedly working on.

Are You Ready Kids?

Run for your lives, it's the Spongebob Squarepants rectal thermometer.
It plays the theme song from the show once it's ready to be read.

No word yet if there are plans for Dora to be a rectal explorer, or if kids are really ready to know what it's like to have an Iron Man in that particular area -- but aren't there some things that should remain, you know ..clinical?

A Softer World

Light pictures, dark humor. The kind of site that it's easy to lose a huge hunk of time just clicking through the archives.

Enjoy!

Sidecar

Fearlessly weird and technical sketch comedy troupe. I saw them tonight, doing an extended piece about life in a bunker after Armageddon. The three guys were having the fourth in a series of debates to become President of Bunkermerica, with one guy moderating the other two.

All three had ridiculously long beards. Silly and inspired fun.

Clublife

Clublife is a fairly long-running blog written by a NY bouncer. Lately he's started posting Onionesque dispatches about the louts and would-be Scarfaces he escorts when needed--sometimes to a VIP section, but more often to the street, sometimes by the throat.

My current fave is about gelled-hair 'roid freaks who smear Preparation H on their chests before going out "cause it makes me look fuckin' ripped."

The story is so good I wish it was true.

Playing the Building

From May 31 through August 10, David Byrne is wiring a building close to the Staten Island Ferry Terminal to produce sound.

Have you ever used pots and pans as a drum kit? This should be better than that.

Best. Movie Review. Ever.

Not like you were gonna go see this movie anyways, but kudos to the reviewer for putting it right out there.

Worst. Beer. Ever.

It's 4pm on a Friday, which means the only thing I can think about at the moment is beer.

I got to thinking about how I hate Pabst Blue Ribbon except when it's in a Johnny Russell song about rednecks and white socks. No amount of hipster irony can get me to drink that crap.

It turns out I'm not the only one to have had a bad beer in my life. There are many others. Some of their descriptions are poetry, for subjects that don't deserve it.

Examples:

"Take a dump in a bedpan, pour in a can of Milwaukee's Best, and then drain the bedpan into a frosty mug-- You've got Milwaukee's Best Ice."

"Drinking this is like having dinner with someone who hasn’t showered in three weeks."

Of course, this being the Internet, someone eventually had to get some wisdom of the crowds involved.

Now THIS is how Twitter should be used

Twitter is a program that lets you tell the world what you're doing or thinking at any given time. It is largely inane, and people will often make an announcement about things that should not be documented.

However, mad genius Jhonen Vasquez has figured out how to make 140 character updates worth following. Here's a sample:

Bought a 12 pack of toilet paper. Danced around while the woman at the checkout rang me up. Leaned in and said "This is just for today."

Elvis Needs Boats

Start your week off with this gem by Mojo Nixon. Before psychobilly became a widely-used term, Mojo fell into the great pool of anything that wasn't mainstream, known as "alternative."

Holy crap I'm giving history lessons. From personal experience. Meep.