Today, May 8th, is the fifth anniversary of this blog. We are very proud on this occasion to offer an exclusive for our readers.
24's television run is coming to an end. It's too bad, too, because creator Joel Surnow had some fantastic cameos planned for next season. Here's a synopsis of what would have been the series premiere for Season 9 (aka Day 9), composed as rough notes in Twitter but never published.
Scene: Washington D.C. Capitol Building spire visible in background. As cars wait at a stop light, Jack Bauer commandeers one at gunpoint.
Bauer gets in the car as its owner watches, stunned, from the median. Before Bauer can drive away, Jason Bourne commandeers the car.
Bourne revs the engine. As he's about to start, John McClane commandeers car at gunpoint. Bourne joins Bauer and the car's owner, who shrugs
McClane revs the engine. Line of cars is now honking behind him as the light has turned green twice. Schwarzenegger steps up with a bazooka.
Daniel Craig, in tuxedo, forces Schwarzenegger out. Arnie joins other carless heroes on the median with bazooka, says "not loaded."
Carless heroes all say "Oh!," as they look wistfully toward the growing collection of guns on the passenger seat.
Daniel Craig gets five feet before coming to a halt. A staff is at his throat. Pull back to reveal Mani from Brotherhood of the Wolf.
Car owner gives a "what the hell?" look, while the carless heroes recognize Mani and are impressed in a movie geek kind of way.
Mani revs the engine once as Roger Moore steps in front of the car. Everyone on the median looks at Daniel Craig.
Daniel Craig holds up his hands in a "I have no idea" gesture as Clint Eastwood walks up. Everyone on the median applauds.
The scene goes Matrix numbers for a second as Neo appears in front of the car. Eastwood says "Oh come ON!" Bauer looks at his watch.
Neo gets behind the wheel. John McClane shouts "You don't even need a car!" Carless heroes nod in agreement. Car owner is on phone with wife
Before Neo can pull away, a yellow GTO screeches in front and transforms into Bumblebee. Cut to Mani, who rolls his eyes.
Roger Moore leans over to Daniel Craig. "Do you think you could get me a cameo or something?" Craig says "Sorry, I don't really handle that"
Several DOT trucks pull up and cordon off the block in preparation for street work. The heroes start to break up. Several pull out phones.
A few heroes ask Bumblebee for a ride. Some amble over to the bus stop and start reading the schedule.
Car owner casually gets back in his car and starts driving. He smiles slightly, wondering what he can get for his new handgun collection.