One or Two Last Trips

Here's a blues written for the best bar in New York City, slated eventually to be a parking lot for the New Jersey Nets.

midi remix of songs + goofy video

Lolmidi Star Trek + midi. and then Marvin Gaye saves the day. Seriously.

Almost as good as just jamming out to tracks from SuperNES games played by a live Band:

Minibosses Free mp3s from them if you don't know what I'm talking about. You should definitely check out Kid Icarus.

These guys play tracks from your NES childhood on 2 guitars, bass and drums. Some of the guitar arrangements are umm... megabosses!

The Slicer. It doesn't slice, it doesn't dice. It does look fun, like a red ryder bb gun

Apparently a company has made a sled for summertime. Instead of you taking the sled to snow, you strap ice to the bottom of your sled. Perfect for SoCal or Florida sledding fun. Also good for summer time sledding almost anywhere.

Headgear not included.

FUCK YEAH NEIL PATRICK HARRIS

Not content just to preach the coolness of sharks anymore, a new Tumblr has cropped up preaching the greatness of some character actor on TV. I can't remember his name at the moment, but I think it's written on the site somewhere -- probably in really small letters.

 

Embracing the Inevitable

This song sucked in 1975 and it sucks now.

But this is still pretty funny.

A Well-Named Site

I'm in the market for a new laptop. My aunt recommended I check Craigslist, and sent me a listing for a new MacBook Pro at less than half of retail price. I told her it sounded like bs, but that I'd e-mail the person. I asked for the serial number so I could check out the computer's warranty. Here's the response:

Hello,

I still have the laptop. But the thing is that i'm in Italy for my school
(I have the machine with me). I hope you are still interested
and we can make the deal happen right away. Obviously we need a safe way
to complete this deal that will allow us to make sure we receive
what we are after. I have found a way for us to complete the deal fast
(3 days) and easy. The solution is Royal Mail, they will provide
assistance in handling the payment and delivery of the laptop.
With this procedure you will be able to check the laptop
before I receive the payment.

Let me know what you think.

Richard Glaser

1) No serial number
2) Offer to complete transaction by wire service
3) In foreign country

Pass.

Anyway, stay informed about scams of all types.
Apparently fraud of all sorts is on the rise, with criminals preying
on the desperation of the unemployed and under-employed.
If you have a doubt about the legitimacy of an offer, check this site out:

http://www.lookstoogoodtobetrue.com

Tiny Joy

This is what I get for not subscribing to cable. I missed Miniscule completely when the series of five-minute French cartoons aired on the Disney Channel three years ago. They're still full of nifty.



Thanks to Tom for the link.

This is Why You're Fat

This is also why I'm hungry -- but yeah, the results seem pretty obvious.

Misery, Loving Company

Giving of yourself is a great way to break a funk. Of course, if that opportunity isn't immediately available, reading about other peoples' shit experiences can do the trick.

Today, after making a complete ass of myself to a girl I like, reading about estate law, and failing to get any work done on my overdue project, this F**k My Life post saved the day:

"Today, my boss fired me via text message. I don't have a text messaging plan. I paid $0.25 to get fired. FML."

Thanks to Alexis for the link.

Compressing Time

As predicted, Coraline is amazing. See it in 3D if you can, but see it regardless. It was made in my soon-to-be-new hometown of Portland Oregon, and the staff is waiting on box office results before proceeding with any other projects. The first weekend results are encouraging.

The movie is fantastic counter-programming to all the pap that passes for kids' entertainment. It features an empowered tween girl as the heroine, and is fearlessly weird in character design. The movie is honestly scary in concept, with elements straight out of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

Go.

Shred Mania

So I just know you want to be transported to the 80s guitar shredding period of music through some modern day weird Japanese TV game show.

So here you are:



Marty Friedman vs. Paul Gilbert on Rock Fujiyama.

Angry Christian Bale Is Angry... REMIX

So, the director of photography for the new Terminator movie walked through the area where Christian Bale was trying to film an emotional scene - twice. Christian kinda loses his mind a little (NSFW) - and is pretty well trashed in the press, because you can't do this kinda thing after being arrested for slapping your own mother and expect anybody to be on your side. Despite that, I think Hex and I are both on the record for being on American Phycho's side in this (but neither of us, to my knowledge, have ever thrown down with our respective mothers. Or each other's mother, for that matter). Call this however you want, but I just like this guy a little more every time I hear about him. He's like that crazy-ass Russell Crowe we once new, before he went all Ron Howard on us.

Fear not, you're not reading a guest post from TMZ. There is something highly recommendable in all this, and it's this dance remix, titled "Bale-Out".



(ahem... dance remixes of NSFW things are almost always, also, NSFW)

Keeping Warm and Trendy

It was 13 degrees here in NYC this morning. With wind chill, it was zero degrees.

So I slit this guy open and stayed in his stomach 'til the temperatures rose. And I thought he smelled bad on the outside.

From the product reviews for the dead thing on the dude's head:

"For my 41st birthday, which was, as it always is, late November, my mother got me one of these hats. I immediately put it on and went up into the mountains to try it out. It happened to be a very cold, windy day and the hat not only kept my face and ears and neck very, very warm, but also my hands, which I had to stick under the part that hangs down because in my excitement to try out the hat, I forgot my gloves! After I returned from my hike, elated, I went to a gun shop to have my rifle re-bored and a cute woman remarked upon my hat and how much she liked it. We struck up a conversation -- much of which centered around whether the e in coyote is silent, which I think it is -- and discovered that we had a lot in common, especially our love for the TV show, "Cops." We have gone out on dates several times and we are pretty serious about each other. So not only does the hat keep my body -- especially my face and ears and neck -- warm, but it may keep my heart warm for many a year if I marry my sweet Edna."

The Scariest Thing You'll See All Day

Look, I shop there. I sorta wish I didn't have to -- but when you're in a certain financial position there are the things you'd like to do and then there are the things you gotta do.

Of course I also remember a time when Wallyworld wasn't a prime choice when money was tight and you still needed to buy stuff (although to be honest, compared with Pic n' Save, WalMart feels like Bergdorfs).

Anyways, here's what happened to that memory.

The WTF Blanket

Wait ..Super Herpes? Did he just say Super Herpes?