Best Fight Scene Ever

To help you ramp up for the first leg of your five-day texas death match with the work week, take a look at this gem from Undefeatable, yet another in a line of unintentionally hilarious films starring Cynthia Rothrock (seen here as the one-armed master of towel-fu).


(it gets a little graphic and there's lots of shouting, so if you're at the office it's probably best to turn it down a little.)

I swear, every time you think it's starting to wear thin, this clip surprises you by getting even better. In fact, the only thing I think that could possibly improve this scene at all would be for mullet dude to tell the Van-Dammish guy he is his father.

"We'll keep an eye out for you, Stingray!"

Clock

Even though it seems like theres no way Flava Flav could wear it around his neck -- I love stuff like this.

Hairy Mail

When you care enough to send the bear-y best.

The Girls Costume Warehouse

Looking for a place to find that last-second costume? Why don't you head over to the lovely streets of Hackensack, New Jersey and let this pleasant older gentleman help you out.

.

(nsfw -- but fuhgettaboutit, I know a guy!)

RainbowPuke.com

Finally, a site that offers clear answers to anyone who ever wondered why being somewhere over the rainbow is always better than being directly underneath one.

The Nutty Buddy

Ever wonder what pro ballplayers buy with all that money?

Play the video to find out.

Your New Favorite Song

Stop me if you've heard this one:

Three scientists went to the jungle in search of rare butterflies. After a long day they made camp near a river, but while they were sleeping a tribe captured them and put them in a tent. After a while the tribe's cheif enters the tent, walks up to the first scientist and says,

"Death or Unga Bunga?"

The Mark Foley Action Figure

"Meet The Press" action playset sold separately.

Giant Steps

I can't think of a better way to start a morning.

The Cylon Jack-o-Lantern

They were created by man. They evolved. They rebelled. There are many copies. And they have a ..plan?

'Tis the Season

Foamy. Halloween. F Bombs. Gimme some candy.

(nsfw, unless you're working on the set of a Scorsese film).

The Forbidden Crypts of Haunted Music

Wow, talk about a labor of love. A page completely filled to the brim with the weirdness that is the novelty LP. The fact that the page is dedicated largely to Halloween music makes it a timely find, but what I truly love about this is the care the webmaster has put in.

More than just a collection of retro album cover photos -- almost every picture links to a page where you can listen to the individual songs on the album at your lesiure -- In short, this guy has painstakingly digitized his record collection and made it all available for free.

If you have the time and you're looking for tracks to soup up your next Halloween party, dig around in here. Outside of more wacky titles like "Sing Along with Drac" and "At Home With The Munsters," you'll find collections of theme songs from classic horror fare like "Dark Shadows" as well as some truly fun songs from the likes of Rob Zombie, Spike Jones, The Reverend Horton Heat, Southern Culture on the Skids, and Rocket From the Crypt.

Enjoy!

Watching Paint Peel

Actually, this is before that.

Knowing is Half the Battle

..But it doesn't make it any less creepy.

I Love the Yeti

Remember, it's ok to "love" the Yeti, as long as you're not "in love" with the Yeti.

Tasteful Advertising

NewsCorp purchased MySpace a little while back, so you had to expect some more ads would crop up.

I lay this one squarely at the feet of Rupert Murdoch.

OK - Aren't You Gone Yet?

All right OK Go, I'll admit it -- it is a pretty cool video. It's the kind of clip that makes people remember why they liked music videos in the first place. Unfortunatley for you, the video is waaay more memorable than the song itself, which means regardless of your actual potential as a band, MTV's invisible stopwatch has been started and your 15 minutes is quickly ticking away.

Here's the latest 51 seconds to fall.

Euro Disney

(If anyone looks at your screen more than casually, this is NSFW)

"Granddad, why did we invade France?"
"Well boy, our government was led by crazy people then. Some regarded France, with its love of peace, art, and non-microwaved food, to be suspicious and threatening. When the Euro Disney tape went on the Internet, well, that was the last straw."
"So how come the other countries let us get away with it?"
"Well, the British and the Germans hated the French too. Now finish your hamburger and Freedom Within Reason Fries."

Tiny Dinosaur Theory.org

Science that makes sense.

Broadviewgraphics

Retro cool art, clothing, and such.

Pin-up art is always fun, but one of my favorite things about this site are the series of prints made up to look like the covers of old 50's pulp detective novels -- in this case featuring mysteries to be solved by ace detective *snicker snicker* Dick Harden.

Ribaldry aside, there's some very cool stuff here from a very talented artist, and if nothing else the background music is groovy with a capital wowie zow zow.

You're Going to Make it To The Weekend

You've been working with these jerks all week. Sure on Monday you were able to put a happy face and be all Code Monkey about it, but here it is only Thursday morning and you're starting to get the feeling you'll never be rid of them.

If only there was a way to express your anger, you know?



Don't even try to front -- You'll be doing this by lunchtime.

The Q-Unit

A few years back producer/DJ Dangermouse (probably best known these days for his work with Gnarls Barkley) released "The Grey Album" - a unique (and exceptionally cool) mash-up using vocals from Jay-Z's "The Black Album" combined with samples taken exclusively (and unfortunately without permission) from "The White Album" by The Beatles.

And while the idea of mash-ups has been popular ever since, very few albums in that style have found their way to any kind of prominence (probably because most attempts to mix one artists vocal stylings with another's music ranges from the crappy to the downright laughable).

Or at least it seemed that way until The Silence Xperiment came up with Q-Unit -- which mixes the arena rock stylings of Queen with thug rhymes from 50 Cent.

It takes some getting used to and it's definitely not for everyone, but it's a combination that seems to work better than most. Best of all, everything's available free for download from the site for you to check out to your hearts content.

Enjoy!

(Mad love to the Monster for the link)

Bad Brains at CBGB's

By the time you read this the it will most likely be sold out (tickets were still available this morning), but tonight marks the last hardcore/punk show ever to be held at CBGB's.

Opened in 1972, CBGB's was originally intended to feature country and bluegrass acts, but instead became a launching pad for some of the biggest names in American punk rock. After 34 years of original music performances from both known and unsigned acts, the club will be closing the doors on the 315 Bowery location at the end of this month. Shows will continue to the end of the week, culminating Sunday night with a sold-out performance by Patti Smith.

Despite rumors that the club will be re-opening somewhere else in the city (or possibly Las Vegas), it will be a shame to see the place go.

That being said, I can't think of a better way to see things off than with a performance by legendary reggae/punk rockers Bad Brains (who just happen to be one of my all-time favorite bands).

Here's a little sample of what we'll be missing:

Metal by Numbers

Scathingly on-target song explaining exactly what's missing from today's so-called "metal bands" sung by the balding old guy you're always surprised to see hanging out at rock and roll shows.

No not me, the other one -- Brian Posehn

The mosh pit scene alone makes this worth watching, but there's plenty of other fun to be had in the form of in-jokes and parodies of some of metals biggest names and cliches.

I'd love to stay and point them
out, but I gotta walk the dogs.

Being A Loser, To Win

We've recommended the freakshow that is competitive eating before, but that was for "normal" foods like hotdogs. Here we have people competing to see who could eat the most jalapeno peppers.

The problem with this type of contest is that everyone loses, especially those in the audience.

Making Stuff Up

This was too good to keep to myself. Here follows Hex's review of Final Fantasy VII.

--

I rented "Final Fantasy VII" on a lark the other day. The animation is stunning. I couldn't even begin to tell you what the plot is, but it's worth a look.

What was fun for me was that the more lost I got in the plot, the more I decided to make my own story up. So if you're interested here's a quick summation of what I decided the story was about:

Members of the emo rock band HIM battle against what appears to be various members of the A-Team, characters from the videogame Street Fighter, and possibly one or two of the guys in Poison for control over the visualization effects that come free when you download the Winamp media player. Then there's some boss motorcycle chases leading up to a battle with a giant monster that sort of looks like the villian from the SAW horror films.

There are also wolves and what look to be pokemon characters, but I haven't figured that part out yet.

--

I think this is a good time to remind people that Hex is actively seeking employment. Although AdSense would probably make both Hex and me instant millionaires, it would also crappify the blog, so that ain't happenin'. So if you've got an opening for a gig, let the man know via the profile link on the upper right side of the page.

Dissing Lorne Greene

Sure, I like the show too - but c'mon, what did Ben Cartwright ever do to deserve treatment like this?

Starts out fun and then (as you fully expect) it turns into a commercial. Such is the world wide widget these days, but it was either this or "My Pussy is Magic" (nsfw) - and believe me, I did you a favor not putting that one up on your screen.

Turkish Wizard of Oz

If they can do it in Bollywood, they can do it in Turkey. Keep your eyes peeled for the Wicked Witch of the West, who looks like Witchie-Poo with jaundice, rocking a coned hat she decorated while in her Van Halen phase.

Thriller

* In the third century B.C. the Greek philosopher Chrysippus died of laughter after giving his donkey wine, then seeing it attempt to feed on figs.

* It is cited that the Burmese king Nandabayin, in 1599 laughed to death when informed, by a visiting Italian merchant, that Venice was "a free state without a king".

* In 1660, the Scottish aristocrat, polymath and first translator of Rabelais into English, Thomas Urquhart, is said to have died laughing upon hearing that Charles II had taken the throne.

* In 1782, a certain Mrs Fitzherbert is reported to have suffered from an attack of hilarity while she attended a performance of the Beggar's Opera. When Charles Bannister appeared on scene as Peachum, she burst into an uncontrollable laugh so loud that she had to be expelled from the theatre. She laughed continuously all night long and the day after and died early the following day.

..Call 911.

Teleportation

Well, scientists can now beam information from one place to another. Whee. Wake me when this makes visiting Staten Island desirable.

I mean feasible. Sorry. Don't wanna get all science fiction there.

The Leia Hat

Only you could be sew bold.

The Lyrics Plugin

Cool little doodad you can download for Winamp or Windows Media Player that displays lyrics for whatever song you have playing at the moment. A really useful thing to have for those of us who normally subscribe to either of the two major schools of singing along with songs you like but don't know the words to:

The "something-something-something" school

"Come here girl
Go 'head be gone with it
something-something-something
Go 'head be gone with it..."

-or-

The "insert nonsensical gobbeldygook and hope no one notices" trick, which kind of looks like this:

Evil Dead: The Musical

Necronomicon-tastic!

I Have Seen the Face of God

...but now I sorta wish I hadn't

Code Monkey

Considering just how aggressively unemployed I have been lately, I find it sorta strange just how much entertained I am by this song. It's bouncy and happy and I'll probably be sick of it by tomorrow, but for right now it's three minutes of looking busy on a Monday, and even if it was forever ago I can still remember just how valuable that can be.