Forget hurricane relief mismanagement, corporate greed, or wars for oil -- the real threat to this nations security is and will always be Hollywood's unchecked need to remake classic horror films using younger stars and updated scripts. From The House on Haunted Hill to The Amytiville Horror, studios can't seem to stop frothing at the mouth to reheat these old burgers and see if we'll eat them all over again just because they sprinkled a little Jessica Biel on top.

I mean, what's gonna be next - a Stephen King love story?

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