Real Women

Seriously, if you have spent any time at all planning, participating, or worrying over the results of this competition then please please please take this recommendation to heart.

How To Survive A Zombie Outbreak

This is far more important than "Exercise Regularly," "Learn French," and the other life goal instructions on "43 Things."

The Maria Sharapova Screaming Ring Tone

The perfect, and I mean perfect segue to saying the words

"Sorry, I have to take this."

Basin Street Blues

Bad News: Music loving bugs live inside your nose.
Good News: When they hear a killer song, you'll be the first to know.

Dooku.net

I'm pretty sure I could do this all day.

Beast Blender

Become Dr. Moreau, without looking like Brando circa-1996.

Eat Hufu

Two cannibals are eating dinner one night when the first one turns to his friend and says, "Man, your wife makes great soup!"

To which the other replies,

"Yeah, but I'm gonna miss her."

Jedi Nation?

Actually, I'm not sure which thing I'm more highly recommending at the moment here -- the rather pointed "keep watching the skies" implication that comes through at the end of this particularly cool Neil Stephenson op-ed, or the unnamed geek who came up with the rss/url trick that enabled me to read New York Times Copy without having to register for a friggin' password every time.

..oh wait, that's sorta what the article is about - isn't it?

Dammit.

Pulp Fiction in 30 Seconds (Re-Enacted by Bunnies)

I'll probably catch a fair amount of shit for saying so, but I actually like this better than the actual movie itself.

FreeKatie.net

Don't turn away.
Your indifference makes you part of the problem.

The AT-AT Boombox

Want One.
Want One.
Want One.

Thorazine, Methadone, and Quaaludes

I think every man alive agrees that "getting the message" from the winking Cialis chick is light years better than anything Mike Ditka ever had to say.

Still, 4-hour erection or not, neither of them can hold a candle to this.

Attention all planets of the solar advertising federation...
We have assumed control.

The Indipod

While someone over on this side of the Atlantic should really remind the British what we all know over here about an SUV's tendency to tip over faster than Tara Reid at a birthday party, and the possible consequences it might mean for this plucky little device -- I have to admit (speaking as someone who's driven cross-country once or twice with a family in tow) that there's a certain appeal to not having to stop at every single Dueling Banjos gas station between here and Peoria.

However, it probably also means that your next trip to Burning Man just got a whole lot more interesting...

2000 Uses For WD-40

Shines Atlas missiles, apparently. Highly Recommended also suggests listing membership in the WD-40 Fan Club on resumes and college applications.

Build Your Own Cellphone Jammer

Cellphone jamming is illegal in the US. It also is a piece of civil disobedience which can give immense joy for less than $100 in materials.